... Not even one. Not a single one.

[ShadowTiger]

It's been just about three weeks since I have heard even one "Hello," "Please," "Excuse me," or "Do you know where..."

I smile. I smile a lot. I have a lot to smile about. Life is wonderful. Nature is beautiful, and it is absolutely everywhere. I know some people that make me absolutely overjoyed that they live and breathe. But when they walk up to me and open their mouth, there is a stark and sudden 'divide' between what I consider to be human and what they consider to be human. I am no longer one. In a different setting I would have no qualms with this at all. But when I need to be equal to you to help you, and am not, there is a problem.


If I'm lucky, it will be in the form of an unsure question. "Smoke alarms...?" Because then at least you can hope they aren't an asshole, and are just lost.


But let's hope it's not the bad kind of question. "Smoke alarms?" I get the sense from such a tone that they just don't give a damn.


But no. Most... they just walk up to me, .. "Smoke alarms," Or "Smoke alarms." Punctuation makes a difference. So do manners, you %@#%ing b!tch. My response: "Hardware" and I walk away. I will be as verbose as you are. You wanted to save time? I will save time too. I will be as disgusting as you are. I will care as much as you do.



For the love of all that is high and fluttery ... You get what you give.

If you walk up to me with a smile, and treat me like a human, and not like a "customer service specialist," I swear to high heaven that you will leave happy. That's what I DO. I don't care who you are, what you look like, if you're drunk, if you're stoned, if you're a goth, if you're a gangster, if you're gangsta, or if you're missing your head. If you're awesome to me, holy crap, you will want to come back to my store.

If you're not pleasant, I will simply mirror you. I will accommodate you, and make you feel right at home. I will mold my facial expression to suit your own, and you will see yourself in me.

If you become angry, I will laugh, because you are making mountains out of molehills, and are going to give yourself a heart attack. If you choose to brush aside reason and logic in favor of your own selfish needs and the defiance of the known laws of physics themselves, you have become my afternoon entertainment.

... and I'm a comedian. Don't try me. You're not very good at it.

[malmalthekiller]

Your posts always make me very happy and calm.

I know what you mean, though. When I answer the phones, I say my spiel, and I am cut off with "men's", or "sporting goods", I will say simply say "sure" and put you on hold. It just wears down on your soul to keep giving and not getting good vibes in return.

[ShadowTiger]

Your posts always make me very happy and calm.

Thank you!! ^_^ I think that just about made my day. Or at least my evening, anyway. ^^,

I know what you mean, though. When I answer the phones, I say my spiel, and I am cut off with "men's", or "sporting goods", I will say simply say "sure" and put you on hold. It just wears down on your soul to keep giving and not getting good vibes in return.

Yeah. You're right. Either you think of people as meat for a while, just so they can't get to you, or you give them your all and hope to get beneath their skin, in that awesome way, and influence them into being nice back.

People do make for some very interesting meat, yes.

[ApolloSZ]

It's my pet peeve too.
Me - "Good morning, service desk. ApolloSZ speaking"
User - "I have a problem"

grah.

Heh, you reminded me about a funny joke I knew. ALiens talking about Earth. "They talk by flapping their meat" "What?" "Thats right, meat!"

[Cazzi]

It amazes me how hard a lot of people think it is to be polite. I mean, its not like it physically hurts or they're going to run out of oxygen if they say more than 2 words; unless they are desperately ill in which case they probably wouldn't be out shopping anyway.

I can get quite nervous/shy approaching people sometimes but I always start with a Hi/excuse me, could you possibly..<blah blah> please? Its not hard

[Syriilord]

For the love of all that is high and fluttery

Have you been selling drugs to the butterflies again?

You are an inspiration to all us working shlubs with how you deal with these types of people. We can only hope that enough of this treatment will eventually convince at least a few of them to change their ways and become at least mildly civil.
(Of course, given the nature of this site, we have a better chance of having colonies on Neptune in the next five years )

[Miss_Stress]

You've just mentioned my main pet peeve! Manners cost absolutely nothing, but they are used so little (you'd think they'd use something that was free as much as possible wouldn't you!) especially towards someone who can help them. I too often get customers coming up to me and just saying the product's name, and it is so frustrating! We are humans, not robots, and I have always believed in the saying "treat others as you wish to be treated" and I wish a lot more people would believe in this saying too.

[OfficeSlug]

It just wears down on your soul to keep giving and not getting good vibes in return.

Anyone who has never worked in retail/hospitality/ [name your poison here] WILL NEVER EVER EVER UNDERSTAND THAT.

I suggest a year of working retail as a requirement to graduate high school.

[jjc927]

This happens at the checkout line too. I will give my usual greeting to the customer and they will just start telling me something they have, ask me to check the price of something, tell us to use paper and plastic, etc. The ones that do this immediately when it starts being their turn get no greeting from me.

[MoonCat]

I get this on the phone all the time, too. I finish up with the customer's credit card payment, confirm the price, dates the ad will start and stop, etc. I say thank you. In response, I get a grunt and they hang up. No thank you, no good-bye, nothin'.

Apparently saying one or two more words will use up all their phone minutes, or maybe their oxygen.

[TheRabbi]

This kind of thing makes me angry. Before I started reading this site, I didn't notice it quite so much. But now I see people just being unthinkingly rude everywhere.

When my sister and I were little, we used to make fun of my dad for talking with (we said 'flirting with') tollbooth operators and people at parking lot exits and so on, but I'm glad he did. I picked up trying to have a bit of a conversation with everyone I interact with from him, and reading this site has only made me more aware of it.

Also, ShadowTiger, now I want to visit your store, just to say hi to you and make you feel like a human being so it will brighten your day a bit. ^^

[octopi23]

Gerp. Gerp gerp.

Restroom.

Gerp gerp.

Smoking area.

Gerp.

Turkey legs.

Gerp.

Discount.

Ugh!

[Seshat]

I can get quite nervous/shy approaching people sometimes but I always start with a Hi/excuse me, could you possibly..<blah blah> please? Its not hard

Actually, it can be.

Some days my best friend and I both want to get/do something, we know we need it, we've even gone out to the shops to do it. And when the time comes to actually TALK TO SOMEONE, we each were hoping the other would. And we look at each other. And neither of us is actually capable of the minimal human interaction involved in asking for item X, and paying for it.

So we go home without it, and come back another day.


Pathetic, I know. Brain chemistry.


But something to bear in mind. In a very, very few cases, it might actually BE that hard.

[ShadowTiger]

Yep, it certainly can be. When it happens over and over and over again, you tend to notice it a lot and it gets under your skin, but the -real- problem is when they don't show any signs of appreciation whatsoever. It's one thing to have to blurt out your question due to nervousness, or a speech impediment, but it's another to even exhibit signs of lack of caring for the other person.


I mean, let's hear it once again. You come up to me to ask me for help with something, because you can't do it yourself, apparently, but won't even show any sign of appreciation for the help. You are taking without giving. There is no balance in that!!! Balance in all things, is the key.

Also, ShadowTiger, now I want to visit your store, just to say hi to you and make you feel like a human being so it will brighten your day a bit. ^^

Heh, thank you. ^^; You're too kind; but that's why I come here. We all know how to treat each other. It's how we got here in the first place.

And thanks for the replies, everyone. It's great knowing that we're all like-minded in this.

It makes me wonder what would help with this issue. We could write to newspapers and news programs that "Being polite in retail outlets helps get you what you want faster and more easily than if you just shouted the name of the product." "Good manners help smoothen your transaction." " Being patient and polite with your salesperson ensures a greater chances of walking away satisfied and happy, and that the employees will offer you whatever discounts or compensations that you couldn't otherwise receive." Obviously, the last one is particularly important as it involves money.

Sounds like a news story worth running. <(o_o)> People are always looking for ways to save in stores. Even if you have to "force" manners into people by showing them as money-saving tips or "scams' for stores, you'll still see the difference in quality.

Lately, it's gotten so bad, that I've even stopped saying "... Hello, how are you?" Whenever someone walks up to me and blurts out a word for me to find for them. I just say "Fourteen" or whatever aisle it's in and just look away, indifferent. I can't. I can't do it anymore. If they say "thank you" at all, I reply with a quick "It's in the middle of the aisle on the bottom." If they walk away without a thank you, then y'know what, they're obviously in too much of a rush to give a reply, so they wouldn't have enough time to stop and listen to my elaborations anyway. Good for them. Saves 'em time. Yup. I'm a good Samaritan. Teehee-fukkin-hee and all that.

All it takes to get me to help someone is an excuse me, or a "hello," or "hi," ... That's it. And we're off to find whatever you're looking for.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SC: "You know, you could be more specific..."
Me: "Yep! And you could have treated me like a person instead of signpost, which I am not."
SC: "But it's your job!"
Me: "Not to be a signpost, it's not. I'm a person, just like you. If you treat me like a signpost, then I can be one for you. But you've got to be insane if you think you can get anything out of talking to an object."

That conversation has almost happened, so many times now...

[Cazzi]

But something to bear in mind. In a very, very few cases, it might actually BE that hard.

Believe me, I am very aware of that
I have a grown up daugher who amongst other things suffers from anxiety & social phobia and on a good day can just about squeak out a please/thanks. She can very rarely ask for something unless she's really having a good day, but she never goes out on her own either so theres always someone to help her.

I have my moments too, even yesterday i was dithering for a few minutes about disturbing a staff member at the gym to show me how to use a machine my physiotherapist wanted me to use... and all I was asking him to do was what he's there for
I've been trying to drag my self esteem out of its hidy hole for years but it still keeps escaping & hiding

My comments were aimed at the SCs in the OP who have no manners & seem to think that the staff there to help them are robots with no feelings
Hmm maybe ettiquette & manners should be taught at school too