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  • #1

    I told you I don't work here...

    I'm currently on a leave of absence from my job at the super mart of wal in Minnesota, and I'm staying with my family in Illinois. Because I don't tend to spend much on clothes, and don't pay much attention when I get dressed, I ended up in a mart of wal with my mother dressed in gray pants and a blue shirt (I suppose gray looks like khaki?). I'm giving my mother my opinion on a shirt she's thinking of buying and a *lovely* SC comes up, screaming at me.

    SC: "I've been looking for someone to help me and you have time to chat???? I need to know where to find blah blah blah!!!"

    Me: (calmly) "I do not work here."

    SC: (still screaming) "Get me a supervisor!!! I'll have you fired!!! blah blah every other typical SC response in the book"

    Mom: (very quietly (which, if you knew my mother, you would know is a very scary and potentially dangerous thing)) "If you don't leave my daughter alone to help me shop, I'm going to find what you're looking for and shove it up your ***."

    Amazingly, the woman shut up. When she turned to slink away, I had to do it...

    Me: "I told you I don't work here..."
    Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - Elbert Hubbard
    Tags: None
  • #2
    ... I'm a bad person for wishing it to be a rather large, pointy, durable object.
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

    Comment

    • #3
      Damn, to you because you have a LOT more restraint than I would have. She'd have gotten a healthy dose of my best drill sergeant voice complete with appropriate swear words for her level of EW-ness and stupidity.
      Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth IDontWorkHere View Post
        Mom: (very quietly (which, if you knew my mother, you would know is a very scary and potentially dangerous thing)) "If you don't leave my daughter alone to help me shop, I'm going to find what you're looking for and shove it up your ***."
        Your mum rocks!
        "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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        • #5
          Quoth IDontWorkHere View Post
          I'm currently on a leave of absence from my job at the super mart of wal in Minnesota, and I'm staying with my family in Illinois. Because I don't tend to spend much on clothes, and don't pay much attention when I get dressed, I ended up in a mart of wal with my mother dressed in gray pants and a blue shirt (I suppose gray looks like khaki?). I'm giving my mother my opinion on a shirt she's thinking of buying and a *lovely* SC comes up, screaming at me.

          SC: "I've been looking for someone to help me and you have time to chat???? I need to know where to find blah blah blah!!!"

          Me: (calmly) "I do not work here."

          SC: (still screaming) "Get me a supervisor!!! I'll have you fired!!! blah blah every other typical SC response in the book"

          Mom: (very quietly (which, if you knew my mother, you would know is a very scary and potentially dangerous thing)) "If you don't leave my daughter alone to help me shop, I'm going to find what you're looking for and shove it up your ***."

          Amazingly, the woman shut up. When she turned to slink away, I had to do it...

          Me: "I told you I don't work here..."
          Thank you for that laugh. It made my day.

          Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
          ... I'm a bad person for wishing it to be a rather large, pointy, durable object.
          No no, it needs to be a large, square, blunt and hard to remove object. Like a radio.*


          *dictated to me as I was laughing hard enough to cry from DaDairyDruid.
          Random conversation:
          Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
          DDD: Cuz it's cool
          So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth fma_fanatic View Post
            ... it needs to be a large, square, blunt and hard to remove object. Like a radio.*
            *dictated to me as I was laughing hard enough to cry from DaDairyDruid.
            OMG thank you!!! A radio would have been spectacular!
            Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - Elbert Hubbard

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth IDontWorkHere View Post
              OMG thank you!!! A radio would have been spectacular!
              Already tuned into Kiss FM, perhaps?
              Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

              Comment

              • #8
                Why don't people ever take the "I don't work here" line seriously?
                Quote Dalesys:
                ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                • #9
                  Because it doesn't matter. Everybody in the world exists only to serve them. So even if you DON'T work somewhere, you should know everything about the place you are in..be able to help them regardless...and be grateful they are allowing you the privilege of serving them... obviously.
                  Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
                    ... I'm a bad person for wishing it to be a rather large, pointy, durable object.
                    A large bag of pineapples perhaps?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth draco664 View Post
                      A large bag of pineapples perhaps?
                      Gotta remember that one...
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Personally I'd choose the 10 foot barge pole.... sideways
                        Arp happens!

                        Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth draggar View Post
                          Why don't people ever take the "I don't work here" line seriously?
                          Because all retail peons are stupid liars, and say it when it's not true? </EW> I've never really heard of anyone reasonable not believing that one, so it's got to be tied to believing that you're more important than everyone else.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth draco664 View Post
                            A large bag of pineapples perhaps?
                            I was making some marmalade today, and added some chopped up fresh pineapple - I was thinking of this and giggling the while....
                            Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Perhaps a fire ant-covered cactus plant?
                              Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

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