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  • "IS THIS YOUR DEPARTMENT?"

    One hour left before it was time to me to fuck off for the day, and I had a pallet full of putzy-little kitchen gadgets and other stuff to fill. And then....

    SC: (in electronics) MISTER, IS THIS YOUR DEPARTMENT?

    Me: (No, my department is maiming and killing stupid people using everyday household implements. Business has been brisk lately.) What do you need?

    SC: I've got a raincheck for something here, and they called me yesterday...

    Me: (noticing the guy working in electronics returning to the department) Oh, here comes (co-worker) who works in here. He'll be happy to help you out.

    SC: Okay, thank you.

    And back to me freight...for maybe five minutes, when....

    SC: (in sporting goods) MISTER, IS THIS YOUR DEPARTMENT?

    Me: (I've got one nerve left, and you're dancing the Russian squat dance on it.) How can I help you?

    SC: Do you have any more of these? (referring to some crappy little wrap-thingy that goes around your stainless steel water bottle for some reason) Do they come in any other colors?

    Me: (scans one of the wraps, finds no more in backstock) These are all we have for now. There should be more coming in, but not until next week at the earliest.

    SC: Okay, thank you.

    And I turn to leave but then....

    SC: MISTER!

    Me: (Think unviolent thought, think unviolent thoughts. Birdies! Look at all the pretty chirping birdies!) Yes?

    SC: Do you have that game, I forget what it's called, but you set up these things and you throw these other things at them, and you get points.

    Me: All our lawn games are a couple aisles down from where you are and on your left.

    SC: Okay. Thank you.

    Gaaah, why must these people come out of the woodwork when I'm fighting the clock? Finally I return to my freight, and am stocking little plastic Sterilite boxes when I hear a *CRASH! tinkleping! from a few aisles down.

    SC: MISTER!

    Me: (Why no, officer, I have no idea how that boxcutter flew through the air and sliced that annoying woman's jugular, and it wasn't me laughing maniacally at her writhing in that pool of blood. Why do you ask?) Mmm hmmm?

    SC: I dropped these light bulbs. I just wanted to let you know.

    Me: Don't sweat it. I'll clean the glass up.

    Thanks in no small part to this woman, I did not finish filling my freight before I had to leave.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
    One hour left before it was time to me to fuck off for the day, and I had a pallet full of putzy-little kitchen gadgets and other stuff to fill. And then....

    SC: (in electronics) MISTER, IS THIS YOUR DEPARTMENT?

    Me: (No, my department is maiming and killing stupid people using everyday household implements. Business has been brisk lately.) What do you need?

    SC: I've got a raincheck for something here, and they called me yesterday...

    Me: (noticing the guy working in electronics returning to the department) Oh, here comes (co-worker) who works in here. He'll be happy to help you out.

    SC: Okay, thank you.
    I'm going to be dreading that phrase now, and I don't even work retail.

    *fast-forwarding...*
    And I turn to leave but then....

    SC: MISTER!

    Me: (Think unviolent thought, think unviolent thoughts. Birdies! Look at all the pretty chirping birdies!) Yes?

    SC: Do you have that game, I forget what it's called, but you set up these things and you throw these other things at them, and you get points.
    I just sensed everyone in town who plays horseshoes collectively facepalming at this chick.

    Me: All our lawn games are a couple aisles down from where you are and on your left.

    SC: Okay. Thank you.

    Gaaah, why must these people come out of the woodwork when I'm fighting the clock? Finally I return to my freight, and am stocking little plastic Sterilite boxes when I hear a *CRASH! tinkleping! from a few aisles down.

    SC: MISTER!

    Me: (Why no, officer, I have no idea how that boxcutter flew through the air and sliced that annoying woman's jugular, and it wasn't me laughing maniacally at her writhing in that pool of blood. Why do you ask?) Mmm hmmm?

    SC: I dropped these light bulbs. I just wanted to let you know.

    Me: Don't sweat it. I'll clean the glass up.

    Thanks in no small part to this woman, I did not finish filling my freight before I had to leave.
    Okay, that got my eye twitching now. *CRASH!* "Oops, I dropped this box of light bulbs that a 7-year-old could carry in his hands! Tee hee!"
    My other car is a Mackinaw.

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    • #3
      "That's NOT my Department" says Werner Von Braun"

      "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
        SC: Do you have that game, I forget what it's called, but you set up these things and you throw these other things at them, and you get points.
        Bowling?
        SC: No
        Baseball?
        SC: Noo
        Volleyball? Basketball? Frisbee?
        SC: Noooo. You're useless! I'm looking for XYZ!!!
        Ooooh, XYZ. Sure, I know exactly where to find XYZ. Here, let me show you where you can find XYZ. So glad you told me the name, I had no idea what you meant by the description!

        (And yes, I could probably get away with that last sentence. Say it innocently and friendly enough, no one realizes you're being a sarcastic bastard )
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          The use of the word "Mister" should only ever be uttered by small children or before your surname. Outside of that I feel it's rude to call someone "Mister". It sounds childish to me.

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          • #6
            Does your store have a 'you break it, you buy it' policy?

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth searssoulslave View Post
              The use of the word "Mister" should only ever be uttered by small children or before your surname. Outside of that I feel it's rude to call someone "Mister". It sounds childish to me.
              IMHO, "Mister" or "Miss" is better than, "hey you" or whistling/snapping fingers to get the employee's attention. Or the various rude names they come up with because they think we're not human beings with feelings and are beneath them.
              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
              My LiveJournal
              A page we can all agree with!

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth XCashier View Post
                IMHO, "Mister" or "Miss" is better than, "hey you" or whistling/snapping fingers to get the employee's attention. Or the various rude names they come up with because they think we're not human beings with feelings and are beneath them.
                I've found "excuse me" has a 100% success rate.
                Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Uh, pardon me, but, seems to work relatively well, also.

                  Besides, at least this creature admitted to dropping the light bulbs. Approximately seven things get broken at my store per day during my shift. Approximately one person cops to being the responsible party.
                  Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth searssoulslave View Post
                    The use of the word "Mister" should only ever be uttered by small children or before your surname. Outside of that I feel it's rude to call someone "Mister". It sounds childish to me.
                    Hey, at least it was "mister", and not some version of "oi, you, monkey".
                    I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      At least he didn't whistle or snap for you like a dog....or shout "hey you!". Still doesn't change the fact the SC was more annoying than a fly buzzing by your ear.
                      I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                      Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                      Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                      • #12
                        When I'm reading these and seeing "MISTER!!" I can't help but to think of Happy Gilmore and the "MISTAH!! MISTAH!!" lady.

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                        • #13
                          i normaly go with "sur" I find that works great too. Oh and if you think you where have fun. This is great. My husband work for a soda company, he goes to the store and stocks the shevels so this is what he gets.

                          Do you know where the TP is?
                          Sorry I don't work for this store but i can sure tell you where the soda is!! If he knows where it is he will help them but.

                          Lets see my hubby wears BLUE he goses to store R they wear RED and store S wears Mustard
                          We are even color coded for them and it still does not work!!!

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