Abusive Ex Husband

[zombiequeen]

And this makes me so sick. Ugh. These dickbags need their own island for their mind games and abusive bullshit.

edit: male AND female dickbags. I'm well aware women can abuse and its terrible that its not addressed more seriously.

Could we have seperate islands for them? I don't want them reproducing and making little dickbags that they can train to be like them.

[Whiskey]

Could we have seperate islands for them? I don't want them reproducing and making little dickbags that they can train to be like them.

Id put my vote towards this idea

[Gravekeeper]

Could we have seperate islands for them? I don't want them reproducing and making little dickbags that they can train to be like them.

Surely there is an island somewhere that be used for both this and the storage of radioactive waste, thus saving space and eliminating two problems at once. Remember, its all about efficiency.

[zombiequeen]

Surely there is an island somewhere that be used for both this and the storage of radioactive waste, thus saving space and eliminating two problems at once. Remember, its all about efficiency.

Oooh, efficiency!
WE'RE DOING THIS FOR SCIENCE!!!

[Talon]

My best friend's psycho brother, whom she did nothing good by, recently tried to strangle her in front of her baby son. If I ever see him again I will rip his balls off and feed them to him with a rusty shovel.

I pretty much managed to get past the welts and bruises left by my dad with his belt years ago, but am still trying to deal with results of all the mental and emotional abuse I had from my mother all her life.

That is because the source of all pain is neither the heart, nor the hand. It is the mouth. G'Kar of Babylon 5 couldn't have been more right.

[draco664]

And it doesnt matter where the support comes from! Support from strangers can be more empowering than you think (see: everyone on this board and the Life Advice forums)

I'm sorry to say that this is not always the case. My brother once stepped between a guy punching a woman and told him to back off or he'd put him in hospital. The woman, with a bloody face and clothes, attacked my brother and later told the police that it had been my brother who had done the damage to her in the first place.

Less that two months later, her boyfriend was arrested for her murder.

I'm sorry to say that since that incident, I won't do more than call the police and observe to be a witness if needed. My brother went through hell for months after that, all because an abused woman thought it was easier to attack someone who was helping her than to defend herself.

[Whiskey]

good to know? ^ I help anyone, anytime because everyone is not the same. One woman who does not get out is not the next woman. I'm not going to leave them abandoned because or something that happened previously.

[Mytical]

All I can say is, if any female is within (even a couple hundred miles) and needs a safe place to stay for a few days..I would gladly not only come get them, but provide such a place. Nobody should have to live in fear, ever. My mom and dad do live with me, but it is my place. I even have a few people I could get a hold of that would be more then willing to camp out in my yard if needed for extra protection.

The worst part is indeed that people go back to the abuser. They think they can 'fix' them because they 'love' them. You can't fix them, no matter how bad you want to. It is NEVER your fault, regardless what they say. Don't believe the lies.

[zombiequeen]

The worst part is indeed that people go back to the abuser. They think they can 'fix' them because they 'love' them. You can't fix them, no matter how bad you want to. It is NEVER your fault, regardless what they say. Don't believe the lies.

This.Definitely.This
It's unbelievable how many people think this, or how many abusers think they are "fixing" what is wrong with their partner by hurting them.

[Hyndis]

This.Definitely.This
It's unbelievable how many people think this, or how many abusers think they are "fixing" what is wrong with their partner by hurting them.

One thing about people is that people don't change. If a person is a person to do that sort of stuff they will always be a person to do that sort of stuff.

It is very, very, very rare that a person will genuinely change. A true change of heart like that is a borderline miracle.

Don't count on it happening.

[Magpie]

The worst part is indeed that people go back to the abuser. They think they can 'fix' them because they 'love' them. You can't fix them, no matter how bad you want to. It is NEVER your fault, regardless what they say. Don't believe the lies.

It's also that a lot of abusers are really really good at being emotionally manipulative. (It's how they abuse in the first place). And they go and cry and say that they're sorry, they don't know what came over them, and they'll do better this time. Or they give some convincing excuse for why they did it. Basically, they convince their partner that the victim wasn't actually as badly off as they thought they were, and things will be fine.

[pacman]

Hee, good to say not to feel guilty when you've been raised to feel guilty all the time. My mother has NPD, and I've got my fair share of mental abuse and emotional manipulation when I was a kid. Luckily I'm now living with a lovely SO, who's trying to convince me that everything isn't my fault after all And my shrink's also wonderful.

[Seshat]

Muahaha. We have a marine stationed in the rooms next to her and the one across from her. Come pick a fight now dude! You know you wanna come try!

Awwww. How sweet.

Also guys people who actively defend women other people from abuse are the best guys people and deserve kisses and hugs and loves and brownies and stuff.

Fixed it for you. And totally agree.


I won't get in the middle of an actual fight, though I will report to the police and be a witness.

What I will do is provide emotional support, help with shelter, and tell either or both parties what a healthy relationship is like. This sometimes does the trick.

Sometimes.

[blas]

I've had a few incidents of stalking in my life, the worst was right after I started dating my bf. My Nancy Boy ex, the guy I dated before my bf, suddenly realized what he lost and he wasn't going to give up. He didn't understand too little too late.

And it got really bad. He knew everywhere I went. He knew where my friends and I liked to hang. He was not even halfway intimidated by my body building boyfriend, even when sober (Nancy Boy had a really bad habbit of thinking he was Iron Man when drunk). But then again, he and his douchebag parade of friends always thought they were all so tough.

Well, New Years Eve '09 early in the morning, he came wobbling around in the bar once again trying to talk to me and bother me. Bf was around (Nancy Boy usually only tried talking to me or approaching me when bf wasn't with, usually he'd just stick to following us everywhere and watch from a distance), and while it didn't help that we were all a bit tipsy, he was raging.

Bf grabbed that beanpole by the collar of his shirt, held him up in the air, and basically told him if he ever came near us or bothered me again, he'd be living the rest of his life on life support. Nancy Boy was actually wiggling around trying to kick and punch at my bf and talk crap right back to him, on top of lying about stalking me (or us, I should say). At this point, SEVERAL guys are grabbing my bf and trying to get him to let go before bf loses it and actually hits him. They manage to get him off, and they let Nancy Boy get away. He was later beaten unconscious by a solider who he said "I hope you don't make it home!" to.

I think it was more of the solider beating him senseless that made him stop than my bf threatening him, but after that, it was over. I haven't heard from him since. I've seen him from time to time at bars, but he's always stayed away.

[iradney]

My FSIL was nearly killed by her now-ex boyfriend. He did the whole emotional manipulation shtick (No-body but me will love you, you're nothing without me etc etc). When he had his hands around her throat she fought back, pressed charges, and he had to pay damages and go for anger management. She called TTO when it happened, and said he mustn't bring me with - probably just as well, as I would have kicked Slimy Ex's ass and happily served the jail time for it. She's now dating another guy who is much better for her self esteem.