I promise, it's fiction...FICTION

[Seriously?]

One of my favorite bookstore tales...

I've noticed that a lot of people today get truth and fiction mixed up...and then there are the conspiracy theorists. I'm very good friends with one super conspiracy theorist, and even he laughed at this.

This took place back when Dan Brown's DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons were incredibly popular. Now, for those of you who haven't seen the books, they're red. Like, not quite Mickey D's red or fire-engine red, but still a nice deep candy-apple red. When they first came out, literally three rows of a four-foot bookshelf section were fully dedicated to these novels. I had this conversation happen at least two times a shift for fully five months...

Me:
SC: self-explanatory

Me: "Hi there, can I help you?"
SC: "Yeah, I'm looking for Dan Brown's DaVinci Code."

Hey, this starts off like a good customer...you know exactly what you're looking for, I'm up front, and we can see the book from the register. Now, technically, we were supposed to walk everyone to their book, but for something that's on the first row, I didn't always insist on it (I was the manager) since you can get busy at the cashier's stand quickly.

Me: "Okay, well, if you look at the first row" <points>, it's that red book about halfway down the aisle.
SC: "Okay, thanks."

SC proceeds to walk over to the row, look at the book, pick it up, shake his/her head, and then come back to me. Oh, boy.

Me: "Is something wrong?"
SC: "Yeah, that's not what I want. It's in the fiction section."
Me: "Yes, that's where it is - you did want Dan Brown's DaVinci Code, right?"
SC: "Uh-huh, but that's not the one I want. I want the non-fiction one."
Me: "Are you talking about Holy Blood, Holy Grail? He got a lot of source material from that, and it's in Religion. I can take you there."
SC: <normally they'd start to get irritated at this point.> "NO, I want the TRUE DaVinci Code by Dan Brown!"
Me: "With the red cover? The one that just came out? By Dan Brown?"
SC: "YES!"
Me: "Okay..."

I would leave the customer service area, walk them to fiction, and pick up the book. "This is the only DaVinci Code by Dan Brown that we have, sir/ma'am. It is fiction. Not true." I would normally point out the back of the book, where the publisher has printed "Fiction" on the cover.

SC: "No, that's not right. It doesn't belong in fiction. What are you, stupid? Don't you know that they just want you to believe it's fiction?? It's a cover-up!"



Me: "Well, I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Have a good day."

They would normally storm off, "threatening" to never return. The only thing I have to say is:

[Mr Hero]

So this is where Uncle Vick's at when he's not providing GK with hot tips.

[csquared]

When The Wife worked at a book store, she would get customers who would complain that the "Left Behind" series by Tim LaHaye was in the fiction section.

[Stressball]

Personally I would like to go into a bookstore and move all the Bibles etc to the fiction section, but that would be mean to the staff

[dragon_wings]

Personally I would like to go into a bookstore and move all the Bibles etc to the fiction section, but that would be mean to the staff

OMG! I laughed so hard I choked on my spit.

Can I steal this to put in my sig? Please?

[Polenicus]

Personally I would like to go into a bookstore and move all the Bibles etc to the fiction section, but that would be mean to the staff

Yeah, but then the Creationists would come in and move all the science textbooks to the Fiction section in protest, and that would just start the dominoes a-tumblin'... Linux users would move all the Windows books to the children's section, Windows users would move all the Linux books to the Religion section, Mac users would move their own books to the Art section... until all that was left in the non-fiction section would be Oprah's latest book, and a book on tying knots.

[Peppergirl]

Ok, ya'll.

I must admit to snickering a bit, lets keep this a creationism/religion free thread and focus on the OP and his 'interesting' customers.

[Difdi]

I can think of one non-fiction book that used to be constantly shelved in the fiction section (people generally didn't believe it could really happen in America), both by book stores and the public library. Not so much any more, but it used to be quite common.

The Hacker Crackdown, by Bruce Sterling.

[Seriously?]

You'd be amazed at how often people would move things to where they "thought" the books should go...we found a lot of comparative religion stuff in the role-play gaming section <one of my managers caught them red-handed>, and more than one person moved the Left Behind series into the non-fiction religion section. There was one older woman who kept moving the bibles to the "best sellers" section...it was always a chore after she left.

[Mike Taylor]

I loved it when some unknown joker working for The Big Yellow Price Tag's corporate offices had decided to classify Ben Stein's Expelled DVD as a comedy.

[Aisling]

... until all that was left in the non-fiction section would be Oprah's latest book, and a book on tying knots.

And the knot-tying book would be moved to erotica.

[Antisocial_Worker]

And the knot-tying book would be moved to erotica.

And all the erotica would take a walk over to the children's section, or else it would just stroll around the store with a guy who would use one hand to hold the book and the other to root around in his pants.

...At least that's how it was when I was a lowly bookseller.

[Legal Eagle]

in Tesco's here in the UK, Richard Dawkins latest book (god doesn't exist, bible is fake, etc) was marketted as being a perfect easter present.

[Julesy]

One of my favorite bookstore tales...

I would leave the customer service area, walk them to fiction, and pick up the book. "This is the only DaVinci Code by Dan Brown that we have, sir/ma'am. It is fiction. Not true." I would normally point out the back of the book, where the publisher has printed "Fiction" on the cover.

SC: "No, that's not right. It doesn't belong in fiction. What are you, stupid? Don't you know that they just want you to believe it's fiction?? It's a cover-up!"

Never contradict the crazy. *In a conspirational whisper*: "That's right, ma'm, it's a cover-up, but we can't let just any customer in on this little secret, can we? But I see you are already informed. Yes, that is the real Da Vince Code, it's in the fiction area as part of the cover-up; but I promise you it IS the real one! I just had to test you first before I could admit that!
*smile and wink knowingly*

[NorthernZel]

This reminded me of an epic SC rant that I witnessed at the book store a couple of years ago. A lady swore up and down, yelled something that at best could be translated as "!%&#&GLARLBLE"£&%$!!!" and stomped out while loudly stating that she'd sue the bookstore.

The reason? "The Wind In The Willows" was placed in the "Children's literature" section...

Yup, I kid you not. On the other hand she looked a bit crazy. I only wish her rant had been coherent enough for me to hear which section SHE believed that book should be in...