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I hate holiday weekends. And not only is this weekend a holiday weekend, it's also the first day of college football season. (In my area, that means all the Alabama and Auburn fans are out in full force. Roll Tide!) And I have a cold/sinus infection/THE PLAGUE so I feel like death on a soda cracker. Yay fun.
#1
No, holding on to your money when I'm trying to take it is NOT funny. Not even when I'm NOT sick and feeling like death warmed over. That's how this whole store thing works - you get groceries, we get your money. Doing it three or four times doesn't make it funnier. Nor does doing it EVERY TIME YOU COME IN HERE. Please stop.
#2
I *clearly* said the name of the store when I answered the phone, so that should have been a big clue that no, you cannot order a cheeseburger. But that would require that you actually LISTEN to what I said when I answered, because after you tried ordering a cheeseburger and I said "I'm sorry this is *name of store*" you were like "Oh I'm sorry I got the wrong number." It helps if you don't ignore the greeting.
#3
Please stop yelling at *me* when we don't have the brand of cigarettes you want. I realize it's dumb that we keep selling out of them - but for the umpteenth time, I am not the one that does the ordering. I have suggested that maybe we should order more of a particular brand, since we keep selling out - but I'm just a flunky and they don't listen to me.
#4
No, we will NOT reduce the price on that carton of chewing tobacco. Why? Well, because we can't sell it for less than what we pay for it. We have to make a profit, and believe it or not we aren't making all that much on a whole carton. I think it's great that you can get it cheaper elsewhere - why don't you go buy it there, rather than CONTINUALLY coming in here and whining about ours, then refusing to buy it after we ALREADY RANG IT UP? (Seriously, this guy has done this at least six or eight times in the past few months - if he KNOWS he doesn't like our prices, why does he keep coming back?)
#5
No, there is no one in the meat department. They usually leave at 12pm. No, there's no one else here who knows how to cut meat. I don't know why they don't stay later, they just don't. Yes, I agree that it doesn't make much sense that they leave so early when the store is open until 8. No, I don't have our butcher's home phone number, and even if I did I wouldn't give it to you. Telling me that we need to "get our shit together" and make them stay later is beyond my control, but I will pass that along - even though there's not much anyone can do as the meat department is pretty much a separate entity and not subject to our rules. Kthxbai.
#6
We ask just about everyone if they want help getting their groceries out. The following is an example of how this conversation should NOT go:
Me: Hi, how are you? Would you like-
Lady: DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY HELP TODAY!?
Me: I was about to ask if you wanted help taking your groceries out...
Lady: YES I DO.
Seriously, I hadn't even SCANNED anything yet, so there's no way I'd had time to ask her if she wanted help or call one of the boys. Even so, did she have to YELL at me?
Also, we have quite a few customers who prefer to take out their own groceries, and I have pretty much figured out which ones they are. (A lot of them refuse it just because they don't want to tip the boys... even though tipping isn't required, and taking out groceries IS a part of their job) If you are one of those customers, then why do we have the following conversation?:
Lady: Are there not any boys here to help you with that?
Me: Yeah, they're around somewhere, do you want one to take these out for you?
Lady: No, I just wondered why they weren't helping you.
They're not helping me because I'm perfectly capable of bagging groceries, despite the fact that I'm a girl (I've actually had quite a few customers tell me they LIKE the way I bag) and because we don't have dedicated bagboys like the store a couple of towns over. Our bagboys double as stockboys, so when they're not bagging, they're *gasp* doing other stuff like facing labels and refilling shelves and rotating stock. They can't just stand around and bag for me all day, much as I wish they could.
#7
Please stop parking in the no parking zone! It's painted in bright red, it says NO PARKING three or four times. You are not a special flower, you do not get to park there just because you want to. You make it so that people can't get in or out of our parking lot properly when you do that. Oh, and when you're parked there, and our Ice truck shows up, who actually has a REASON to be there so that he can fill up the ice machine? Which will only take a few minutes compared to the 30-45 minutes you want to spend shopping? We will come over the loudspeaker and ask you to move your car, so that he can do what he needs to do and go on to the next store.
I need a vacation.
#1
No, holding on to your money when I'm trying to take it is NOT funny. Not even when I'm NOT sick and feeling like death warmed over. That's how this whole store thing works - you get groceries, we get your money. Doing it three or four times doesn't make it funnier. Nor does doing it EVERY TIME YOU COME IN HERE. Please stop.
#2
I *clearly* said the name of the store when I answered the phone, so that should have been a big clue that no, you cannot order a cheeseburger. But that would require that you actually LISTEN to what I said when I answered, because after you tried ordering a cheeseburger and I said "I'm sorry this is *name of store*" you were like "Oh I'm sorry I got the wrong number." It helps if you don't ignore the greeting.
#3
Please stop yelling at *me* when we don't have the brand of cigarettes you want. I realize it's dumb that we keep selling out of them - but for the umpteenth time, I am not the one that does the ordering. I have suggested that maybe we should order more of a particular brand, since we keep selling out - but I'm just a flunky and they don't listen to me.
#4
No, we will NOT reduce the price on that carton of chewing tobacco. Why? Well, because we can't sell it for less than what we pay for it. We have to make a profit, and believe it or not we aren't making all that much on a whole carton. I think it's great that you can get it cheaper elsewhere - why don't you go buy it there, rather than CONTINUALLY coming in here and whining about ours, then refusing to buy it after we ALREADY RANG IT UP? (Seriously, this guy has done this at least six or eight times in the past few months - if he KNOWS he doesn't like our prices, why does he keep coming back?)
#5
No, there is no one in the meat department. They usually leave at 12pm. No, there's no one else here who knows how to cut meat. I don't know why they don't stay later, they just don't. Yes, I agree that it doesn't make much sense that they leave so early when the store is open until 8. No, I don't have our butcher's home phone number, and even if I did I wouldn't give it to you. Telling me that we need to "get our shit together" and make them stay later is beyond my control, but I will pass that along - even though there's not much anyone can do as the meat department is pretty much a separate entity and not subject to our rules. Kthxbai.
#6
We ask just about everyone if they want help getting their groceries out. The following is an example of how this conversation should NOT go:
Me: Hi, how are you? Would you like-
Lady: DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY HELP TODAY!?
Me: I was about to ask if you wanted help taking your groceries out...
Lady: YES I DO.
Seriously, I hadn't even SCANNED anything yet, so there's no way I'd had time to ask her if she wanted help or call one of the boys. Even so, did she have to YELL at me?
Also, we have quite a few customers who prefer to take out their own groceries, and I have pretty much figured out which ones they are. (A lot of them refuse it just because they don't want to tip the boys... even though tipping isn't required, and taking out groceries IS a part of their job) If you are one of those customers, then why do we have the following conversation?:
Lady: Are there not any boys here to help you with that?
Me: Yeah, they're around somewhere, do you want one to take these out for you?
Lady: No, I just wondered why they weren't helping you.
They're not helping me because I'm perfectly capable of bagging groceries, despite the fact that I'm a girl (I've actually had quite a few customers tell me they LIKE the way I bag) and because we don't have dedicated bagboys like the store a couple of towns over. Our bagboys double as stockboys, so when they're not bagging, they're *gasp* doing other stuff like facing labels and refilling shelves and rotating stock. They can't just stand around and bag for me all day, much as I wish they could.
#7
Please stop parking in the no parking zone! It's painted in bright red, it says NO PARKING three or four times. You are not a special flower, you do not get to park there just because you want to. You make it so that people can't get in or out of our parking lot properly when you do that. Oh, and when you're parked there, and our Ice truck shows up, who actually has a REASON to be there so that he can fill up the ice machine? Which will only take a few minutes compared to the 30-45 minutes you want to spend shopping? We will come over the loudspeaker and ask you to move your car, so that he can do what he needs to do and go on to the next store.
I need a vacation.
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