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This is gonna be another long one folks - sorry 
Before I start, I would just like to say that I HATE register. When I say "hate", I mean with an absolute passion. In spite of this, my manager sees fit to force me on to it during every single shift I have. As a result, most of my stories here are tales from the register. Onwards and upwards anyway...
DON'T YOU SHIT ON MY GOOD NAME!
I'm starting with one that didn't happen to me, thank goodness, because I couldn't move for laughing. This man said that my co-worker, F, had only given him change for a ten and he had given her a twenty, so F asked for a till check. My supervisor, L, was counting down the till in front of the customer and printing off the receipts and such. The atmosphere was relatively calm and peaceful, until it was interrupted by this man's unearthly shriek of:
"I KNOW WHAT I GAVE HER! I GAVE HER A TWENTY AND IT WAS PURRRRPLE! DON'T YOU DARE SHIT ON MY GOOD NAME!
I jumped about a foot in the air, and looked at F and L, and their faces were ones of pure shock, a la
style 
It turned out in the end that he had no good name that could be shat upon, because he had indeed given F a ten 
But He's Buying Them For Meeeeeee
Yes, it was THAT whiny This woman sent her poor child up to my register with some superglue, so obviously law dictates I cannot sell it to him.
Me: Sorry, I can't sell you it
Kid: Oh ermmm it's for my mummy, I'll just go and fetch her
Me: *awwww he said mummy, bless him* Ok just fetch her back here
Mother: Why have you told my son he can't buy these for me?
Me: Because legally he can't.
Mother: But he's buying them for MEEEEEE
Me: That isn't the point, you must purchase them yourself.
Mother: *Unintelligible shriek followed by stomping off*
Me: ...bye bye then
You're Not Smart Enough To Do A Degree
We all know the common misconception about retail workers...we're all stupid apparently
So said this particular Mensa student...
Me: *to c/w* Yeah, I'm back in September, this year's going to be difficult.
CW: I bet, Law's a tough subject.
SC: YOU'RE doing a law degree?
Me: Yes
SC: You can't be, you work here, you're not intelligent enough
Me: Yes I am, and I just passed my first year with a First in my Contract Law (for the record, I did yes I wasn't making it up 
)
SC:...You're lying
She walked off. I mean...huh? What just happened?
I May Be A Teenager Too, But You're Annoying As Hell
Basically, teenagers messing about in the aisles, taking stuff out of the packaging and generally being PITAs. Several customers had complained about them, and my boss asked me to go and ask them to leave, mentioning I could unload some stress at the same time because she was fed up of them damaging merchandise. Btw, there is no security in our store. WE are the security.
Me: Right, we've had some complaints about you, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
SC1: We haven't done anything!
Me: I personally SAW you just throwing stuff about in the aisles
SC2: Oh come on sweetheart, maybe I can persuade you... *leering*
Me: *flashing my engagement ring* No thanks
SC2: Oh come on, I bet I'm twice the man he is
Me: I doubt it, and if you don't stop with this I'll be dropping some CCTV off with the police
SC2: I love a feisty girl...come on sweetheart meet me when you've done
Me: I'd rather eat my own foot if I'm honest...now OUT before the police get called!
Ugh....teenagers
I know I am one but I actually BEHAVE in public!
Get Your Damned Child OUT From Behind That Register!
I'm ringing a woman up, and her child goes behind the next register and starts trying to scan her stuff! I ask the woman to remove her child from there as it could mess the register up, and the woman informs me the girl is "only playing." I asked her if she would consider it "only playing" when she received a bill for a new scanner, and all of a sudden Precious had to "come from behind there right now please!"
If You Don't Want It, Put It Back!
I'm sure we've all posted stories on this, customers just dropping stuff at their backsides and leaving it for us to clear up. Well today was a pearler. I was in the Health and Beauty section, and I saw this woman just tip up her basket and let the products fall out on to the shampoo and knock all the bottles over! She then threw the basket on the floor and walked out Bitch.
Mad Over Bags
At our store, there are 3 types of bag: small (for batteries, razors, etc), medium and large. The policy is we only issue bags based on the size of the item, i.e. small items in small bags. Well, this is where greed comes flowing out - they either ask for a bigger bag or steal one so they don't have to pay for them elsewhere. To the story:
Me: Do you want a bag?
SC: Yes (no please or anything)
I put the small item in a small bag.
SC: THIS won't do! I wanted a bigger bag so I could get stuff from other places without paying for a bag! That was the point!
Me: Company policy, sorry.
SC: FINE!
She stormed off, then came back and tried to steal a bag off my register! Lady, I'm 50 years younger than you and can move 50 times faster! Give it up!
Some General Rantage Now
I am not here to just pick up after you, so stop being so lazy and actually put stuff back where you got it from. Do not treat me as your personal bank. Do not try and make outrageous returns without receipts. Have the good manners to leave my store when we are closed. Do not steal things that are worth less than £1 sterling. Do not talk down to me. Do not berate me for following the LAW and company policy. Be a little more human. Treat us like we are human. Oh, and a please and thank you never killed anybody, did it?!
Ok, that's it for now...I promise. It's just been a tough few days
Before I start, I would just like to say that I HATE register. When I say "hate", I mean with an absolute passion. In spite of this, my manager sees fit to force me on to it during every single shift I have. As a result, most of my stories here are tales from the register. Onwards and upwards anyway...DON'T YOU SHIT ON MY GOOD NAME!
I'm starting with one that didn't happen to me, thank goodness, because I couldn't move for laughing. This man said that my co-worker, F, had only given him change for a ten and he had given her a twenty, so F asked for a till check. My supervisor, L, was counting down the till in front of the customer and printing off the receipts and such. The atmosphere was relatively calm and peaceful, until it was interrupted by this man's unearthly shriek of:
"I KNOW WHAT I GAVE HER! I GAVE HER A TWENTY AND IT WAS PURRRRPLE! DON'T YOU DARE SHIT ON MY GOOD NAME!
I jumped about a foot in the air, and looked at F and L, and their faces were ones of pure shock, a la
style It turned out in the end that he had no good name that could be shat upon, because he had indeed given F a ten But He's Buying Them For Meeeeeee
Yes, it was THAT whiny
This woman sent her poor child up to my register with some superglue, so obviously law dictates I cannot sell it to him. Me: Sorry, I can't sell you it
Kid: Oh ermmm it's for my mummy, I'll just go and fetch her
Me: *awwww he said mummy, bless him* Ok just fetch her back here
Mother: Why have you told my son he can't buy these for me?
Me: Because legally he can't.
Mother: But he's buying them for MEEEEEE
Me: That isn't the point, you must purchase them yourself.
Mother: *Unintelligible shriek followed by stomping off*
Me: ...bye bye then
You're Not Smart Enough To Do A Degree
We all know the common misconception about retail workers...we're all stupid apparently
So said this particular Mensa student...Me: *to c/w* Yeah, I'm back in September, this year's going to be difficult.
CW: I bet, Law's a tough subject.
SC: YOU'RE doing a law degree?
Me: Yes
SC: You can't be, you work here, you're not intelligent enough
Me:
Yes I am, and I just passed my first year with a First in my Contract Law (for the record, I did yes I wasn't making it up )SC:...You're lying
She walked off. I mean...huh? What just happened?
I May Be A Teenager Too, But You're Annoying As Hell
Basically, teenagers messing about in the aisles, taking stuff out of the packaging and generally being PITAs. Several customers had complained about them, and my boss asked me to go and ask them to leave, mentioning I could unload some stress at the same time because she was fed up of them damaging merchandise. Btw, there is no security in our store. WE are the security.
Me: Right, we've had some complaints about you, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
SC1: We haven't done anything!
Me: I personally SAW you just throwing stuff about in the aisles
SC2: Oh come on sweetheart, maybe I can persuade you... *leering*
Me: *flashing my engagement ring* No thanks
SC2: Oh come on, I bet I'm twice the man he is
Me: I doubt it, and if you don't stop with this I'll be dropping some CCTV off with the police
SC2: I love a feisty girl...come on sweetheart meet me when you've done
Me: I'd rather eat my own foot if I'm honest...now OUT before the police get called!
Ugh....teenagers
I know I am one but I actually BEHAVE in public!Get Your Damned Child OUT From Behind That Register!
I'm ringing a woman up, and her child goes behind the next register and starts trying to scan her stuff! I ask the woman to remove her child from there as it could mess the register up, and the woman informs me the girl is "only playing." I asked her if she would consider it "only playing" when she received a bill for a new scanner, and all of a sudden Precious had to "come from behind there right now please!"
If You Don't Want It, Put It Back!
I'm sure we've all posted stories on this, customers just dropping stuff at their backsides and leaving it for us to clear up. Well today was a pearler. I was in the Health and Beauty section, and I saw this woman just tip up her basket and let the products fall out on to the shampoo and knock all the bottles over!
She then threw the basket on the floor and walked out Bitch.Mad Over Bags
At our store, there are 3 types of bag: small (for batteries, razors, etc), medium and large. The policy is we only issue bags based on the size of the item, i.e. small items in small bags. Well, this is where greed comes flowing out - they either ask for a bigger bag or steal one so they don't have to pay for them elsewhere. To the story:
Me: Do you want a bag?
SC: Yes (no please or anything)
I put the small item in a small bag.
SC: THIS won't do! I wanted a bigger bag so I could get stuff from other places without paying for a bag! That was the point!
Me: Company policy, sorry.
SC: FINE!
She stormed off, then came back and tried to steal a bag off my register! Lady, I'm 50 years younger than you and can move 50 times faster! Give it up!
Some General Rantage Now
I am not here to just pick up after you, so stop being so lazy and actually put stuff back where you got it from. Do not treat me as your personal bank. Do not try and make outrageous returns without receipts. Have the good manners to leave my store when we are closed. Do not steal things that are worth less than £1 sterling. Do not talk down to me. Do not berate me for following the LAW and company policy. Be a little more human. Treat us like we are human. Oh, and a please and thank you never killed anybody, did it?!
Ok, that's it for now...I promise. It's just been a tough few days
)....
* Done and done. People like that seriously piss me off and need to be beaten severely with a large catfish. Just because you work in retail doesn't mean you're stupid, anymore than them *not* working in retail makes them smart.
it just really grates on me sometimes lol.
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