Victor of Sumer

[El Pollo Guerrera]

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SC: “A-R-A-T-T-A. Nobody ever calls us that anymore! They don’t even call us by our ancestral name."

Am I the only one here that belives that Craig Ferguson may have used the word "errata" instead? I looked that up and got this:

1. pl. of erratum.
2. a list of errors and their corrections inserted, usually on a separate page or slip of paper, in a book or other publication; corrigenda.

Uncle Vick has been placed here to correct our errors?

I made my brain hurt...

Dan-El

From the side of the family that Superman never talks about... NEVER.

[Polenicus]

Y'know, when I saw the title, 'Victory of Sumer', I thought "I wonder if Gravekeeper realizes he misspelled 'Summer'? Y'know, unless he's talking about ancient civilizations."

... But then I remembered who we're talking about here, and I immediately dropped that line of thought and read on to find out WHY Gravekeeper was talking about ancient civilizations.

Because Gravekeeper is never wrong. Merely thwarted temporarily.

[Becks]

Why is there an inflatable wallaby sitting at my desk?

Why not? Unless you'd prefer a live one.

[astyn-dbs]

...I think I both fulfilled and subverted the unaware American stereotype. I didn't remember wallabies were animals.

I thought they were rugby players.

Very bad rugby players . *sees Aussies coming and ducks*

[Racket_Man]

Twitter

Me: “And your phone number please?”
SC: “xxx-xxx-…….”
Me: “…….”
SC: “……1……uh…..”
Me: “……..”
SC: “……um..”

So close, yet so far. You even knew the area code and everything! I don’t understand. Usually the last four to seven numbers are all you know. The only numbers that managed to fling out their arms and legs to avoid being drained through the sieve of your mind. Desperately clinging on lest they be flushed out of your porous consciousness. So what happened? Actually, you leaped on that area code the moment I asked for a phone number. With some enthusiasm I might add. Did you know from experience I would ask for it? Were you trying to please me, when things when terribly wrong?

Wait....is it possible your brain actually has some sort of numerical upper limit? You can only formulate so many characters per thought? Like some sort of horrifically downscaled mental Twitter? Hmm…Wait just a minute. You managed to cough up 7 numbers before your mind imploded on itself. That’s the maximum amount of numbers in any given product ID code in the catalog……..Oh God, it’s true, isn’t it? 7 numbers per thought is your cognitive limit. That’s why you normally always give me 4-7 numbers for your phone number and I always have to ask again for the area code. The entire phone number is overwhelming your internal character limit. So it has to be broken up into two different thoughts. If I have to task two different questions to form the complete number, your brain can handle it.

This is most intriguing. Sad and disappointing for the future of humanity, but intriguing. It would also explain your reluctance to use big words or complete sentences. This must be an integral restriction on every level. No more than 7 letters per word or 7 words per sentence. This explains why you never have credit cards and so very rarely offer up a tax exemption numbers even though you have one. Its 10 digits long.

Suddenly it all makes perfect sense.





It's True!

Me: “And your phone number please?”
SC: “xxx-xxx…-x…..um....”

See! SEE?! 7! My theory holds!




<sob>

Me: “Alright, do you have a box number?”
SC: “No.”
Me: “Alright, what’s the address then please?”
SC: “Box number xx.”


-.-

DAAAAAMMMNNNNN I guess between the phone numbers and addresses, my customers are migrating NORTH. must be getting warmer up there. sorry I had to send you some of my idiots.

[Spork4pedro]

ok...Cawaq make me laugh so hard I woke the baby up! I blame you, GK! why must your posts always amuse me so?!

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Very bad rugby players . *sees Aussies coming and ducks*

...aye, but don't tell the South Africans

Still... Dan-El Cavaq... could it be the same person who has evolved speech in the meanwhile?
And Aratta? Sumer? Anybody reading Hal Duncan's Vellum?

[morgana]

Gravekeeper's alone, answerin' the phone
And stayin' awake, stayin' awake
Dan-El baitin' and Nunavut hatin'
And stayin' awake, stayin' awake
Argh, argh, argh, argh, stayin' awake, stayin' awake
Argh, argh, argh, argh, stayin' awaaaaaaake...

Oh, gods, I'm wheezing I laughed so hard. Can't breathe . . .

*loses consciousness and falls out of chair*

[Gravekeeper]

ETA: Just curious....why do GK updates come on Mondays now?

Because the other graveyard person quit and I have to cover one of his shifts until a replacement is found. Thus I am a more tired man than normal come Sunday. -.-

sounds to me like "duck" is ESL, very very ESL

I wish it was just that. I can work with ESL. But if you heard their voices, you would know. They sound so dull. Its not even funny, it is painful and depressing for humanity as a whole.

Cause the wallaby loved you just like all your fangirls love you.

Its love slowly deflated over the course of my shift. Fitting, really.

Gravekeeper's alone, answerin' the phone

Gah! Quit it! I try not to make up songs on shift if I can help it. As many of them are remarkably....dark. However as I work alone I can freely sing them out loud in the office.

You've just retraced someone's actual research path.

Except their phone number should be in their long term memory and they're reading the product numbers from a catalog. These are not tasks that should overcome the average person! Dressing yourself in the morning should not require zen like concentration. >.>

If you could hear, if only you could hear. You would know why I suffer.

[XCashier]

Gah! Quit it! I try not to make up songs on shift if I can help it.

My evil work here is done! Mwah-ha-ha!

[Android Kaeli]

Everytime I help stupid customers at my store and believe that they've taken another point off of their IQ, I read a GK thread. Even reading about it makes my head hurt.

[Magpie]

You know, I'm almost sure that I read this once. In, you know, a serious publication, not a Dave Barry column. Someone actually did come out and say, not trying to make a joke or anything, that the average person's short term memory normally holds no more than seven digits, which is indeed why they break up phone numbers as ###-###-####, rather than giving you all ten digits in one huge confusing lump. You've just retraced someone's actual research path.

Actually I think that seven is on the high end of normal. And Gravekeeper - you're right that it should be long-term, but I think it has to get move to short term. It's a fascinating subject, if you can find something written at an accessible enough level.

I wish it was just that. I can work with ESL. But if you heard their voices, you would know. They sound so dull. Its not even funny, it is painful and depressing for humanity as a whole.

In fairness I find that the accent does tend to give a very dull voice. But I'm assuming you're speaking about the intellect behind the voice, not the voice itself.

[MoonCat]

Oh god, I thought nothing could make me laugh as hard as this:

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/

But I was wrong. So, so wrong....

[Red_Dazes]

Right, I never thought I would have to ask this question but: Why is there an inflatable wallaby sitting at my desk? Anyone? Bueller?

....Oh yeah... sorry about that... I forgot to tell you we put up a spy cam on your desk.... Don't worry, just act natural... You get 40% of the video profits.... *cough*

[Jester]

it is 2am there as well. You have also admitted your source of information as the interwebs. So it is 2am, you are alone, were on the Internet looking for a home renovations and are now calling me about a window frame. At 2am.

This is not a call for information. This is a cry for help.

As an insomniac and a night owl, I have to disagree with you. I have often found myself calling various phone numbers at what most people would consider "odd hours" to get various information. Hell, at some point, maybe tonight, I will be calling an airline I booked a flight with to make some inquiries with. And if I call them tonight, keep in mind that it is already about 10 to 2. AM. I don't see why night owl behavior puzzles you so. Sometimes, these are the best times to do things, such as calling an 800 number for info (less people on the lines trying to get through), grocery shopping (far less people in the store), and driving to get somewhere (far FAR less traffic). These are all things I've done, and I don't consider any of them to be a cry for help.

Now, my dressing up as Dr. Hannibel Lecter and having my friend push me around on a hand truck from time to time....THAT might be another matter entirely.

SC: “I can tell they’re strangers by the way they walk.”

They are ladies men, with no time to talk? It's alright, it's ok. I'll page maintenance right away.

Allow me.....

"Well you can tell that they're strangers by the way they walk
They're not you're friends, it's weird the way they talk.
Their music's strange, they're clearly foreign-born,
they really do deserve your scorn.

And now it's not right, it's not ok,
and you can't look the other way.
Don't even try to understand
Their language from another land.

(chorus)
Whether they're al-Qaida
or other foreign invaders
you're stayin' alert, stayin' alert
They say they're from Finland
But you're not off the deep end
and you're stayin' alert, stayin' alert
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alert, stayin' alert
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alert...."

Gah! Quit it! I try not to make up songs on shift if I can help it.

And that's why you have ME!

Id love to reset the game of Life. On several people.

Oh, my list is long. So very, very long.....

Because Gravekeeper is never wrong. Merely thwarted temporarily.

I disagree. I know he is wrong. He doesn't drink. I personally can't believe that someone who doesn't drink is infallible. I mean, think about the wisdom of Frank Sinatra's words:

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Dressing yourself in the morning should not require zen like concentration.

You've obviously never seen me trying to get ready for work in the morning after one of my more legendary nights out on the town.