This is not 1950s Virginia...

[Tama]

...and you will see why I said that in a few moments.

An older white lady has a large food order, and is ahead of a black couple (important). I check her out, and as things might go, the black couple's buggy accidentally hits the old lady as she turns to swipe her card.

OL: OW! ....I'm okay. =)

But what does she do?

Waves her hand.

Not 'goodbye, sometime soon old friend!' waving...dismissive waving. Like you'd wave off a pesky sibling or dog.

Seriously, I wanted to scream.

This is not 1950s southern America. It is not acceptable to 'wave off' a black couple. It's not acceptable to wave off anyone, really, but being in the south, well...fellow southerners would understand....

When she left, I said to the couple, "If this had been 40-50 years ago...that could have gotten ugly."

The black woman says, "It was about to get ugly."

I replied, "Well I would have kicked back, got some popcorn, and not said a word to anyone."

I'm glad they felt comfortable enough to joke about it, to be honest, and I know they did because they laughed when I said that.

[Itsjustpizza]

OK I am from the south and I dont get this. Doesnt sound like the couple even apologized for hitting her and I dont understand why the ol was obliged to do anything but wait for an apology for being hit.If the couple had apologized and was waved off that might be rude, but the old lady was the one who was hit regardless of the races involved. If i have missed something please let me know.

[Bright_Star]

Well, there are those in the south that are still pissed off the Confederacy lost the Civil War. I wish I was kidding but I'm not. Thus the crap that you still run into when in the south.

[trunks2k]

I'm not getting the significance of the waving them off in terms of racism either. Possibly rude, yes, depending on exactly what she did. But I don't see how it can be attributed to racism instead of just being plain ol' rude.

[Sapphire Silk]

Well, there are those in the south that are still pissed off the Confederacy lost the Civil War. I wish I was kidding but I'm not. Thus the crap that you still run into when in the south.

You kidding? There's folks down here who still don't know the War is over . . . and the South lost.

As for the hand wave . . .

Well, it's kinda hard to describe. When you wave hello/goodbye, the palm is facing the person you are waving at.

When you are "waving someone off," the wrist is usually limp, the back of the hand faces the person, and the fingers extend moving "away" from the person waving. It is a very aristocratic and imperious form of gesture . . . and very rude.

Although, if the black couple did not apologize, they should have.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

The lady was probably dismissing the offense, not the couple. That she immediately said "I'm okay" along with the hand wave suggests to me that it was more of a "it's nothing, don't worry about it" sort of gesture.

Although the couple should have apologized regardless.

[kzc]

I don't understand why the races matter at all. It's worse to "wave off" someone of race X than race Y? Bizarre.

And I kind of think if someone has just rammed me with a cart or other object that I'd be fairly well justified in waving them back, no matter how imperiously. Especially if no apology had been forthcoming.

EDIT: ...but RK's gracious interpretation seems possible as well.

[Mmmm_Beer]

Sounds like someone who is looking for racism in everything more than actual racism to me. Was the hand wave rude? Possibly, but people are rude nowadays. It happens.

Just because someone of one race does something rude to someone of another race, does not mean they are racist. When will the race card hit it's limit?

[blas]

It's rude in general, races left out of it.

Why wave? Why not just say "Oh it's ok"

I get the feeling if anyone ever gave me the "go away you pest!" wave over something like that, my buggy would go right up their ass.

[Gawdzillers]

I'm Southern and I don't get it.

[Merriweather]

I'm Southern and I don't get it.

Same here. And I actually have memories of the south that go far enough back to recall wanting to sit back on the wide seat across the back of the bus and having my mother tell me embarrassedly to hush, we don't sit there.

I mean, I get the type of wave she means - a dismissive wave, the image that springs to mind would be a movie, two people talking intently, a waiter or servant comes in to clear a table and they give the wave and slight shake of the head, as in "go away, do that later, not right now, we're busy". A person might even use it as a silent way to tell a child or spouse to come back and do something later if you're on a business call at home.

But in that context? Never seen it done, so I really have no idea what the woman meant by it - possibly, "I'm ok, don't worry about it?" Or maybe she did mean something worse, but just never seen it used as a racist thing. Maybe in movies, as I "I'm more important than you, you work for me/ or are here to serve me (as a waiter)" but not exactly racist. .

[SailorMan]

OK I am from the south and I dont get this. Doesnt sound like the couple even apologized for hitting her and I dont understand why the ol was obliged to do anything but wait for an apology for being hit.If the couple had apologized and was waved off that might be rude, but the old lady was the one who was hit regardless of the races involved. If i have missed something please let me know.

I imagine there was a lot expressed in the body language of the "lady," that wasn't imparted in the description of what she did. And yes, someone from the South would know what was meant by the attitude she expressed, if that person actually saw the look on her face, etc. I'm pretty confident that Tama, as the person who witnessed what happened, probably interpreted it correctly; just probably didn't write the description of what happened well enough to explain it to someone who's never come across the attitudes prevalant in people of the lady's generation, in the South.

Maybe, in a couple of generations, the kind of worldview she represents will fade away.

[wildman]

I believe this situation was totally blown out of proportion.

[SailorMan]

I believe this situation was totally blown out of proportion.

As much as any show of racism, however small, might be????

[RetailWorkhorse]

For those that don't know, the "dismissive wave" that Tama described is the "shoo" motion that some people use.

As for the lady, well, that attitude is alive, well, and RAMPANT in southern GA. It's still passed on even though nothing bad is intended, it's just them used to it. It's certainly been used on ME enough (and no, it's NOT just because I'm a younger generation).

...I did have a point but I forgot what it was....

ETA: I remembered my point!

She likely didn't wave off the black couple, she waved off the bump. As in "it's okay I'm fine, no worries".

Older Woman could have raised a scene with the Younger Gen but she didn't.

Yes, we're southern born and breed, that doesn't make all of our relatives and my Elders racists.