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We just replaced our car wash equipment.
Episode the First - "Well, What Do I Do?"
When the customer pulls up to the code box at the entrance to the car wash, there is a big sign on it that says, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
A very authoritative, almost stern, female voice tells the customer, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
And then an animated water drop appears on the screen, telling the customer to, that's right, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
At least once a week somebody will call in from the box, or will walk into the store and tell me this ("It says, 'Touch Screen to Start'"), indicating that they did read the sign, or listen to the voice, or watch the water drop, and then they ask, "Well, what do I do?"
And then one of us will say, sounding out the words a little more clearly then necessary, "T o u c h t h e s c r e e n t o s t a r t."
The customer will then say, "Touch the screen to start?" usually in a skeptical tone of voice, as though it couldn't really be that easy!
And we'll repeat, "T o u c h t h e s c r e e n t o s t a r t, t h a t ' s r i g h t." You know, in the bright, cheery, reassuring tone Miss Nancy, your kindergarten teacher, used when teaching you how to hold a crayon.
And the customer will say, "Okay, I touch the screen to start." And then they go to touch the screen to start and wash their car. None of them ever look embarrassed by any of this.
Episode the Second - There's a big metal thing!
A rather distraught looking young woman came into the store after going through the car wash.
"I was in the car wash and a big metal thing swung down from the ceiling and it says 'Drive through slowly!"
I said that sounds about right, that's the dryer, and you drive through slowly and it'll dry your car.
"But there's a big metal thing! Won't it hit my car?"
Terrific. "No ma'am, that 'big metal thing' is the dryer. It dries off your car as you drive slowly under it. It will swing up and over your car as you drive slowly under it. It's the dryer, it's supposed to do that."
"But there's a big metal thing! Won't it hit my car?" Very skeptical, as though I was the one that didn't understand what had just happened.
I polish off my Miss Nancy "No dear, draw with the crayons! Don't eat them! That's my big girl!" voice, and simply repeat the whole "no ma'am that's a dryer, not a car crusher" explanation.
Upset now, "But my car's still wet!" And she left, but she, at least, seemed embarrassed by the encounter.
Episode the Third - What Does the Word "New" Mean?
Guy walked in. I had seen him reading the banner proclaiming "Try Our NEW Car Wash!"
He asked me, "So...what's new about it?"
I told him, "We pulled out all of our old equipment, and replaced it with new equipment."
He asked me again, "So...what's new about it?"
I told him, "A bunch of guys with hammers and wrenches took out the old car wash and threw it away and then put in new pumps, and sprayers, and soap tanks, and plumbing, and wiring. All that's new."
He considered this information, and then asked, "So. . .what's new about it?"
I considered his response, and then pulled a windshield washer gizmo off a display, I had an employee ring it up, and then I turned to the guy and asked, "See my new windshield washer?"
He looked puzzled and then said, "Yes."
I said, "If I walked you to the back of my store I could point at the car wash and say, 'See my new car wash?' Understand?" Yes, Gentle Reader, with the Miss Nancy voice.
He paused, and he used his thinker really hard, and then he said, "So, it's all-new equipment, then? Is that right?"
"Yes sir that's right."
And away he went. And again I reflected on how we, as humans , put so much effort and work and thought into making the world much more complicated and difficult than it should be, while bitterly complaining about how difficult and complicated everything is.
Episode the First - "Well, What Do I Do?"
When the customer pulls up to the code box at the entrance to the car wash, there is a big sign on it that says, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
A very authoritative, almost stern, female voice tells the customer, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
And then an animated water drop appears on the screen, telling the customer to, that's right, "TOUCH SCREEN TO START."
At least once a week somebody will call in from the box, or will walk into the store and tell me this ("It says, 'Touch Screen to Start'"), indicating that they did read the sign, or listen to the voice, or watch the water drop, and then they ask, "Well, what do I do?"
And then one of us will say, sounding out the words a little more clearly then necessary, "T o u c h t h e s c r e e n t o s t a r t."
The customer will then say, "Touch the screen to start?" usually in a skeptical tone of voice, as though it couldn't really be that easy!
And we'll repeat, "T o u c h t h e s c r e e n t o s t a r t, t h a t ' s r i g h t." You know, in the bright, cheery, reassuring tone Miss Nancy, your kindergarten teacher, used when teaching you how to hold a crayon.
And the customer will say, "Okay, I touch the screen to start." And then they go to touch the screen to start and wash their car. None of them ever look embarrassed by any of this.
Episode the Second - There's a big metal thing!
A rather distraught looking young woman came into the store after going through the car wash.
"I was in the car wash and a big metal thing swung down from the ceiling and it says 'Drive through slowly!"
I said that sounds about right, that's the dryer, and you drive through slowly and it'll dry your car.
"But there's a big metal thing! Won't it hit my car?"
Terrific. "No ma'am, that 'big metal thing' is the dryer. It dries off your car as you drive slowly under it. It will swing up and over your car as you drive slowly under it. It's the dryer, it's supposed to do that."
"But there's a big metal thing! Won't it hit my car?" Very skeptical, as though I was the one that didn't understand what had just happened.
I polish off my Miss Nancy "No dear, draw with the crayons! Don't eat them! That's my big girl!" voice, and simply repeat the whole "no ma'am that's a dryer, not a car crusher" explanation.
Upset now, "But my car's still wet!" And she left, but she, at least, seemed embarrassed by the encounter.
Episode the Third - What Does the Word "New" Mean?
Guy walked in. I had seen him reading the banner proclaiming "Try Our NEW Car Wash!"
He asked me, "So...what's new about it?"
I told him, "We pulled out all of our old equipment, and replaced it with new equipment."
He asked me again, "So...what's new about it?"
I told him, "A bunch of guys with hammers and wrenches took out the old car wash and threw it away and then put in new pumps, and sprayers, and soap tanks, and plumbing, and wiring. All that's new."
He considered this information, and then asked, "So. . .what's new about it?"
I considered his response, and then pulled a windshield washer gizmo off a display, I had an employee ring it up, and then I turned to the guy and asked, "See my new windshield washer?"
He looked puzzled and then said, "Yes."
I said, "If I walked you to the back of my store I could point at the car wash and say, 'See my new car wash?' Understand?" Yes, Gentle Reader, with the Miss Nancy voice.
He paused, and he used his thinker really hard, and then he said, "So, it's all-new equipment, then? Is that right?"
"Yes sir that's right."
And away he went. And again I reflected on how we, as humans , put so much effort and work and thought into making the world much more complicated and difficult than it should be, while bitterly complaining about how difficult and complicated everything is.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
every time someone did something moronic I got to "keep them company down there"
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