The Mothman Botany

[Kristev]

It was also made famous by an actor, Errol Flynn.

[superhotelworker]

Errol is an owl from Harry Potter. He's kind of a worthless one too..

Grave, question: How the HELL do you keep a straight face through calls and NOT have telephone Tourettes? *Mute, swear, go back*

[Mr Hero]

To be fair, their name might have been "Errol," which is an actual name, and you may have merely misheard them, thinking there was a "sh" sound where none existed.

Isn't Errol a man's name? I'm not sure that name would have worked in this instance.

[Gravekeeper]

To be fair, their name might have been "Errol," which is an actual name, and you may have merely misheard them, thinking there was a "sh" sound where none existed.

No, standard practice is to spell check every name given to us regardless of simplicity. And it was "Cheryl". >.>

[Becks]

No, hence "true vowels". Y's are filthy mud bloods an-er...I mean, yes, yes, I love vowels.

Your answer made me smile.

[Jester]

Why must I suffer so?

For our enjoyment, of course!

I Want To Talk Too

Me: “Are you calling to place an order?”
SC: “Yes I am.”
Me: “A-“
SC: “I'd like item number xxxx.”
Me: “Alri-“
SC: “For $150.”
Me: "Y-"
SC: "Oh I have a customer ID too"
Me: "O-"
SC: "It's xxxxxx"

you need to reign it in a little bit here and at least let me finish the first word of a sentence before you unhinge your jaw again.

I thought for sure you'd be in shock that someone actually had all the information you needed. Yeah, yeah, they didn't wait for you, and that was kind of rude, but they were obviously very anxious to get their hats, pants, and MP3 sunglasses. Can you blame them?

Me: “And your first name please?”
SC: “Cheryl.”
Me: “Is that with a C or an S?”
SC: “E.”

…Eryl?

To be fair, their name might have been "Errol," which is an actual name, and you may have merely misheard them, thinking there was a "sh" sound where none existed.

The other day at The Bar, where what I am hearing is not filtered through any telephonic devices, I misheard a guy's name as "Derek." His name? "Gary."

[QUOTE=Gravekeeper;792580]...the most surgery sweet voice possible...

I try not to comment on misspellings and mistypes, but "surgery sweet?" Was she on Novocaine? Was she being prepped for a procedure in the O.R.? Having been through surgery on more occasions than I cared for (i.e., 1 or more), I can tell you that there is nothing sweet about it. Because you know all those hot nurses that make us glad to be men? Those angels in white that make us straight guys willing to be stabbed by needles? Those medical hotties that inspire fantasies and bad porns? Yeah, those nurses? I NEVER get them tending to me when I am in the hospital, damn it!

No, I'm not bitter. But I may seem time alone. If anyone really needs me, I'll be over in the corner with this bottle of rum.

You're so much nicer than me. A while back, I told the local Greenpeace tool, "Fuck you." Not because he was Greenpeace, but because he was being a smartass. I really wanted to grab his clipboard and wedge it into a certain nether orifice of his, but he looked seriously groady and I have a fear of prison.

This is why I enjoy being a smartass bartender. Because whether or not you find my brand of humor amusing, it still comes down to one basic fact: I control the booze.

[Gravekeeper]

Do you include the letter Y?

No, hence "true vowels". Y's are filthy mud bloods an-er...I mean, yes, yes, I love vowels.

[Imogene]

Is that the kind of name that says “Ninjitsu Master”? No, no it isn’t.

Well, Captain Marvel doesn't look like a superhero, but all he has to do is say "SHAZAM!" and kaboom!

[superhotelworker]

Quoth Gravekeeper
Finally, one honorable mention for the Misery Harpy at Main St under the employment of one of our city's token free newspapers. Who, upon seeing the bus riots, Skytrain shut down and general chaos, misery and pain around her….had stopped handing out papers and was actually asking everyone that walked by her in the most surgery sweet voice possible “Oh, and how is your morning going?”.

To you, I issue a heart felt "Fuck you" in the hopes the burning rage contained in its baritone keeps your shriveled cold dead heart warm enough to last you just one more day.

I am dying of laughter. Grave, I must say, I know you hate posting, but I fricken love when you do. And..


There's your shiny Gollum :P

[Becks]

I’ll have you know some of my best friends are vowels.

Do you include the letter Y?

[Cymberleah]

I don't know, it'd probably be much nicer of me to literally just walk up to her and say "Fuck you" instead of just glaring, mentally noting her visage, cursing her to ill fates for the better part of several hours and than making fun of her on the Internet.

Well, it's a good thing we don't like you because you're nice, then.

[Gravekeeper]

You're so much nicer than me.

I don't know, it'd probably be much nicer of me to literally just walk up to her and say "Fuck you" instead of just glaring, mentally noting her visage, cursing her to ill fates for the better part of several hours and than making fun of her on the Internet.

[Talon]

…the roof...? Wait, ok, let me get this straight: The plant you put out on the balcony died and you essentially blame ninjas instead of bad weather or neglect? Not only do I find this scenario dubious, but I question why exactly you are telling me all of this? What do you want the maintenance guy to do exactly? He’s here for maintenance, he can’t engage a master assassin of the shadows. I mean geez, the maintenance guy’s name is Barry. Barry. Think about that. Is that the kind of name that says “Ninjitsu Master”? No, no it isn’t. It says “I can fix your closest door and possibly sing lounge music”. Neither of which are abilities that would help you overcome a shadow warrior.

Damnit must.. remember.. to breathe

Perhaps you should be asking more pertinent questions such as "Who has my foliage dishonoured?"

Er what? Foliage.. dishonoured???
Have we stepped into a Japanese anime? In which case better check to ensure the foliage isn't actually tentacles.. but don't check too closely

Hot Tips

SC: “Yeah, I heard the Queen say she’ll give you a hundred billion dollars if you help her grow a beard.”

Persistent isn't he? I would have thought the last time, when you answered with "Rogane", it was enough to shut him down.

Me: “And your name please?”
SC: “Its………..um….”

Do you need a minute to be alone?

You forgot to add "Would you like to call a friend for help?"

annnd rest ( in Mordor ).

Must be tough to get any sleep with Nazgul Fell-Beasts screaming overhead. Or cats trying to keep you up, whichever comes first.

[wagegoth]

Finally, one honorable mention for the Misery Harpy at Main St under the employment of one of our city's token free newspapers. Who, upon seeing the bus riots, Skytrain shut down and general chaos, misery and pain around her….had stopped handing out papers and was actually asking everyone that walked by her in the most surgery sweet voice possible “Oh, and how is your morning going?”.

To you, I issue a heart felt "Fuck you" in the hopes the burning rage contained in its baritone keeps your shriveled cold dead heart warm enough to last you just one more day.

You're so much nicer than me. A while back, I told the local Greenpeace tool, "Fuck you." Not because he was Greenpeace, but because he was being a smartass. I really wanted to grab his clipboard and wedge it into a certain nether orifice of his, but he looked seriously groady and I have a fear of prison.

[MoonCat]

Waiting for your post to hit the boards is the only reason I went online today.

Granted I'm not going to give you change regardless because I am, at this point in my life and specifically at this time of night, essentially a Nazgul.

Aha! It's just as I suspected all along!

Finally, one honorable mention for the Misery Harpy at Main St under the employment of one of our city's token free newspapers. Who, upon seeing the bus riots, Skytrain shut down and general chaos, misery and pain around her….had stopped handing out papers and was actually asking everyone that walked by her in the most surgery sweet voice possible “Oh, and how is your morning going?”.

She deserves a