Uncle Khiras owns an idiot (long, and vulgar as always)

[MadMike]

OK, people we've had several reports on this thread. We have rules against "failing to see the suck", as well as insulting the other members. Knock it off.

[Zoe Hates You]

SC: What are your rates for (date)
Me: I have a blah room at $$$ and another room at $$$, and fina-
*phone slamming…click&
Me: Mother fucker!!!

Hey, fuckwit! Yes, you! Let me bring you in on a concept: you called me, you blazing asshole! We’re not wasting YOUR time because you called a well-known LUXURY property, and then realized that a well-known LUXURY property is *gasp* expensive!

Urrrgghhhh I get this all the time from people calling to ask about rental rates. Just got it today, in fact. We are in the wealthiest town in the state. We have more spas per capita than anywhere else in the country, and more golf courses per capita than almost anywhere else in the WORLD. According to Wikipedia, this town is one of the top 20 wealthiest places to live in the entire country. And to dispel any potential doubt about whether the callers know that the complex is in this town, the name of the town is IN THE NAME OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX. Actually, our apartments are pretty darned cheap compared to 99% of town (if you ever wondered whether your Denny's waiters, grocery store cashiers, school custodians and cafeteria ladies, etc. for a wealthy suburb lived, this is where it's at), so really, what are they thinking?

However, this is not at all the most annoying thing. Apart from finding such stupidity mentally grating, it's actually a relief. They are terminating the call. They are not wasting my time. This is unlike the people who don't like the prices or the lease terms or the policies or whatever so they whine. They try to haggle the prices, so I explain that it's not like buying a car, under FEDERAL LAW I have to offer everybody the exact same specials... so they ask to speak with a manager. Really??? Or they ask what the minimum lease term is. I tell them. "Well, see, my problem with that is that I need something month-to-month. So do you have anything like that?" If month-to-month leases were an option, why would I have told you the minimum term was 6 months? Because I don't want to sell you an apartment and get a rental bonus, since I want to hoard all the short-term apartments for myself? You think I'll change our entire fundamental leasing structure just for you because you told me that's what you wanted? So that we can prepare it for you, then make like 2 months' rental income before having to do all the work to prepare it for another renter after you move out? If you think you can get a 1000-sq-foot 2-bed/2-bath in Uber-Wealthy Suburb for $700 on a month-to-month lease you are clearly huffing glue. Or, best of all, they want something furnished. Sorry, we don't have any. But the model I just showed them is furnished, why can't they move into that one? What? That's the owner's personal furniture, and we need the model to sell apartments? Why, that's false advertising! We are such thieving schmucks!

/rant

Anyway, your pwnage of that prank caller was utterly magnificent! Made my day.

[KhirasHY]

OK, people we've had several reports on this thread. We have rules against "failing to see the suck", as well as insulting the other members. Knock it off.

Can we still be insufferable smartasses?

/runs away....

[Wenchie]

Can we still be insufferable smartasses?

/runs away....

If we're not allowed to be smartasses, there go half the threads on this board!

[Drakstern]

Can we still be insufferable smartasses?

/runs away....

My ass is kinda dumb honestly.

It just sits there...

[superhotelworker]

I think DarlinAngel will agree with me on this (if she posts on this). We get the folks that don't usually pay attention to the bold red font that clearly states "Checkin is 3 pm." and want to check in at 3 AM. It's semi annoying.

[Peppergirl]

Can we still be insufferable smartasses?

/runs away....

If we're not allowed to be smartasses, there go half the threads on this board!

Indeed.

Seeing as even a short-term ban of smartasses would drop at least *half* the traffic on this board, that won't be happening any time soon.

Just stop with the sniping at each other and the failure-to-see-the-suck...that's all we ask.

Carry on!

[emax4]

If it helps...it is posted on the website. In big letters and bold font, no less. Not even buried...it actually displays in 5 different places.

Hence, my aggravation.

Geez, I see where you're coming from. It's near impossible these days not to be able to get info from the internet. I can only conclude that they must have gotten info by stopping in to AAA rather than go online. Serenity now!!!

[KhirasHY]

Indeed.

Seeing as even a short-term ban of smartasses would drop at least *half* the traffic on this board, that won't be happening any time soon.

PHEW! That's a relief. I mean...I'm not always an epic wiseass.

Sometimes, I'm asleep!

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Why am I not surprised?
Me: Alright, can I get your card number?
SC: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
Me: And the expiration?
SC: …..
Me: …..
SC: Uh…I don’t know that.
Of course you don’t.

...Gravekeeper? Did you clone your customers? YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU?

Why not venture a guess though? I mean really, go ahead…just pick something that sounds like a pair of numbers in your head. Just blurt out the first thing comes to mind;

03-12
Oh, you weren't talking to me?
Sorry.

SC: How late do you hold a room? We won’t be there until 6.
Me: ??? We don’t just give your rooms away…
This one’s more of a gripe…to anyone who’s never worked in a hotel, this question gets asked ENTIRELY too much.

Hm, admittedly that is a thought that sometimes crosses my head. I tend to always say at which time I will probably be checking in and ask "is it OK?". Admittedly I usually sleep in Bed&Breakfast-type of places rather than in hotels, and those are usually run by your average family that normally does go to sleep at a certain time...

I can give simple instructions that he may be used to, whenever he calls for help as needed:
Pull open door.
Remove pants.
Remove underpants.
Sit on toilet.
Shit.
Congratulations, you didn’t shit your pants, and got it in the toilet! You win! Oh crap (no pun intended), I forgot to tell him to wipe though…damn, I knew there was a dangerous catch in what I was doing. At least I’m comfortably here on this side of the phone line while, presumably, he is wallowing around in his own feces. Somehow, the state of his now-ruined pants is hardly a surprise to me.

Ehm... you also forgot to tell him to put his pants BACK ON! So now we have a moron with a feces-caked rear walking around butt-naked from his waist down! GROSS! I BLAME YOU!

SC: (In a very poorly imitated English accent) I have a problem in my room.

Now, WHY should he have pulled an accent anyway?

SC: …Man…*sniff*
Me: ….Ho. Ly. Hell. Are you crying!?

NO.
FREAKIN'.
WAY.

[Becks]

Cross me on a bad day with a prank call at your own peril, lest I leave you a blubbering mass of flesh, crying as you beat off to an old picture of Vanilla Ice into one of your mother’s grotesque sweat socks.

That's almost poetic.

[Kereminde]

It may not be a valid expiration, but the first numbers that came to my head were 5-2-8-4-9-1.

I actually thought 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 . . .

[Wenchie]

I actually thought 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 . . .

I thought 1-2-3-4-5 (wait, that's the combination for my luggage!)

cookie for the reference

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I thought 1-2-3-4-5 (wait, that's the combination for my luggage!)

cookie for the reference

That's my virgin alarm . . .it's set to go off before YOU do.

[Wenchie]

That's my virgin alarm . . .it's set to go off before YOU do.

*gives cookies*