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Pretty much a collection of stories from my work homestead which I had forgotten (pushed back into the recesses of my mind), hadn't gotten the time to post.
The Store,It's trying to kill me(or you)!!
Ladies and Gentlemen,please do not put yourself in harm's way any more than you already are when visiting my location. I'm not quite sure if it's happened to anyone else,but it seems that it wants to take delight in killing me in various ways.
So,please DO NOT spin the card rack,especially if you seem to be a small child with a tendency to get into mischief.
It's come to the point where I've seriously considered adding a sign which reads "WARNING: Misuse of Card Rack can result in crushing."
Indeed,one moment there's a child at play,the next there remains a pair of flailing little legs underneath what used to be a mighty tower.
Thankfully nobody got hurt,there were just several items that required changing afterward.
Oh,and about a pile of cards that required replacement that would equal to such infinite quantities as: A mothers love,rain water, and the amount of brain bleach which is passed around CS forums.
You fool,that will never work!
Your old systems will not play the newer games,period. Your efforts would very much result like your attempting to put a beta max into a VHS player. Or if you were trying to put a DVD into your toaster. Please stop asking me,I cannot offer an explanation that you would readily understand so do not get angry if I tell you "That's how they're doing it these days."
Mr.Pibb and the Diabolical Box(A Play by Mr.Pibb)
Our hero,Mr.Pibb was typing away at the register one evening when all of a sudden a wily customer appeared!
C: I would like to trade this in if possible!
Said the customer.
Mr.Pibb: Ah,well then let us see what we have he-..Waugh!
Upon lifting the dark and insidious box from the depths of the...plastic shopping bag, our hero had discovered that there were current...residents amongst the box's plastic workings.
C:What's wrong?
Inquired said Customer.
Mr.Pibb: I can't take this in.
Said our hero,who was currently not trying to throw the item across the room in horror.
C: Why not?!
The customer replied,quite and utterly surprised. As if they were informed that they would not be going to Disneyland this year.
Mr.Pibb: Because it has roaches in it.
Granted they seemed to be demised,but one could only wonder what was lurking beneath.
C: Oh...well,would you know anyone who would?
Our hero had suspected that perhaps the department of sanitation would take it from said customer's hands,however such an opinion should not be voiced aloud. And with that,our tale comes to a close.
Sticky Situation
Step One:I see you've got a frosted mocha caramel diabetic iced coma in your hands,good for you!
Step Two:I also see that you seem to be 10. This somewhat worries me,but it doesn't set off any alarm bells..yet.
Step Three:Oops,looks like you've got some on your hands,here have some napkins!
Step Four: Well,have yourself a good day now. Maybe I should straighten up since it's quiet.
Step Five: #(*)*#&@!!!
Step Six: Rigorously clean said frosted mocha caramel diabetic iced coma off of display systems before the carpet ants come.
The Portal of Doom
Apparently our store windows are still luring in customers with it's siren song of cleanliness as once I finished polishing one to a high sheen,someone almost ricocheted off it's glass-en surface.
Curse you killer window! *fist-shake*
The Store,It's trying to kill me(or you)!!
Ladies and Gentlemen,please do not put yourself in harm's way any more than you already are when visiting my location. I'm not quite sure if it's happened to anyone else,but it seems that it wants to take delight in killing me in various ways.
So,please DO NOT spin the card rack,especially if you seem to be a small child with a tendency to get into mischief.
It's come to the point where I've seriously considered adding a sign which reads "WARNING: Misuse of Card Rack can result in crushing."
Indeed,one moment there's a child at play,the next there remains a pair of flailing little legs underneath what used to be a mighty tower.
Thankfully nobody got hurt,there were just several items that required changing afterward.
Oh,and about a pile of cards that required replacement that would equal to such infinite quantities as: A mothers love,rain water, and the amount of brain bleach which is passed around CS forums.
You fool,that will never work!
Your old systems will not play the newer games,period. Your efforts would very much result like your attempting to put a beta max into a VHS player. Or if you were trying to put a DVD into your toaster. Please stop asking me,I cannot offer an explanation that you would readily understand so do not get angry if I tell you "That's how they're doing it these days."
Mr.Pibb and the Diabolical Box(A Play by Mr.Pibb)
Our hero,Mr.Pibb was typing away at the register one evening when all of a sudden a wily customer appeared!
C: I would like to trade this in if possible!
Said the customer.
Mr.Pibb: Ah,well then let us see what we have he-..Waugh!
Upon lifting the dark and insidious box from the depths of the...plastic shopping bag, our hero had discovered that there were current...residents amongst the box's plastic workings.
C:What's wrong?
Inquired said Customer.
Mr.Pibb: I can't take this in.
Said our hero,who was currently not trying to throw the item across the room in horror.
C: Why not?!
The customer replied,quite and utterly surprised. As if they were informed that they would not be going to Disneyland this year.
Mr.Pibb: Because it has roaches in it.
Granted they seemed to be demised,but one could only wonder what was lurking beneath.
C: Oh...well,would you know anyone who would?
Our hero had suspected that perhaps the department of sanitation would take it from said customer's hands,however such an opinion should not be voiced aloud. And with that,our tale comes to a close.
Sticky Situation
Step One:I see you've got a frosted mocha caramel diabetic iced coma in your hands,good for you!
Step Two:I also see that you seem to be 10. This somewhat worries me,but it doesn't set off any alarm bells..yet.
Step Three:Oops,looks like you've got some on your hands,here have some napkins!
Step Four: Well,have yourself a good day now. Maybe I should straighten up since it's quiet.
Step Five: #(*)*#&@!!!
Step Six: Rigorously clean said frosted mocha caramel diabetic iced coma off of display systems before the carpet ants come.
The Portal of Doom
Apparently our store windows are still luring in customers with it's siren song of cleanliness as once I finished polishing one to a high sheen,someone almost ricocheted off it's glass-en surface.
Curse you killer window! *fist-shake*
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