Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The paranoid

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    The paranoid

    Female hotel guest: We need a room and you have detectives outside, are we in trouble?

    Me: Uh, no ma'am, those are hotel guest, not detectives.

    Female: No, those are detectives, did we do something wrong?
    ........................
    Now you just got here, and came in without a reservation. Seriously how paranoid can you be to think I called in the detectives on the off chance that you showed up flipping out at my hotel.

    Perfect picture for why drugs are bad...mmmmkay!!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Yup. And the little blinking light on that round box on the ceiling, that's the power light for the camera they're using to spy on you.

    Have a nice night!
    Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
      Yup. And the little blinking light on that round box on the ceiling, that's the power light for the camera they're using to spy on you.

      Have a nice night!


      Slightly OT, but a friend of mine was convinced that the blinking light on his smoke detector meant he was being filmed. I tried to tell him it was an indicator that he needed to change the battery. He didnt' believe me, and covered the entire thing up with a black bag, and bought a different smoke detector (that didn't have a light.)
      The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

      Comment

      • #4
        yes, and that camera is filming every single thing you do...including in the bathroom. gooodd niiiight.
        look! it's ghengis khan!
        Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

        Comment

        • #5
          Don't forget the hidden microphone in the vase of silk flowers on the bedside table.
          Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

          Comment

          • #6
            I had a customer come thorough my line swearing he was being spyed on by a camera. He even was almost in tears telling me he needed the number to my store. Trying not to crack up I gave it to him and he said "I was in the dressing room and the camera was recording me I'm so pissed!" I tried to assure him that was not the case but he rushed off after I gave him the number.

            Comment

            • #7
              And don't worry if you can't turn the TV completely off. Just turn the volume down and we'll be able to hear you talking much clearer it won't bother you at all .
              What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

              Comment

              • #8
                Thank heavens, you are finally here! Those poor detectives get a short break while I check you in. Then I have to send them up to the room right next to you.
                To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
                To pursue it with forks and hope;
                To threaten its life with a railway share;
                To charm it with forks and hope!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Yeah, wow, and did you ever notice that the eyes on the coins follow you, too? Creepy.
                  O God, thy sky is so vast and my plane is so small.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    "Did we do something wrong?"

                    "Well, ma'am, you would know the answer to that better than I would."
                    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Thedarlingangel View Post
                      Female hotel guest: We need a room and you have detectives outside, are we in trouble?

                      Me: Uh, no ma'am, those are hotel guest, not detectives.

                      Female: No, those are detectives, did we do something wrong?
                      ........................
                      Now you just got here, and came in without a reservation. Seriously how paranoid can you be to think I called in the detectives on the off chance that you showed up flipping out at my hotel.

                      Perfect picture for why drugs are bad...mmmmkay!!!

                      Silly crazy person, those aren't detectives its the government, the storm troopers are in the TV repair van out back and once you go to sleep they will come in an scan your brain.... if there is any left after the drugs.
                      I'm sorry reading is not a new concept it has been widely taught in our nation for at least the past 100 years. Please, learn to do it CORRECTLY before you become contagious.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        We had to have a guest taken out of our hotel after he flipped on us; turned-out he was off his medication and had become violent. When we went to his room to get his stuff...He had nothing. From a 2-night stay, except for a cigar box with a few little items in it. But the furniture had been moved and flipped-over, the headboard and mirror removed off the walls, and he was ranting something about how the numbers on the backs (model numbers and numbers indicating what room they came from) were some sort of CIA spy code and that they were after him...
                        "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          "Ma'am, don't be silly. They're just the enforcers. If they detectives are doing their job properly, you'll never actually *see* any of them. Here's your key, and have a nice evening"

                          ...

                          "What, name? Credit Card?..." *smiles* "No need. We already know. We already know everything. Sleep tight."
                          Last edited by EricKei; 10-09-2010, 04:57 AM. Reason: couldn't resist
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth MoonCat View Post
                            "Did we do something wrong?"

                            "Well, ma'am, you would know the answer to that better than I would."
                            No worse than the guy that told my mom that we "better not film him through the mirror. I saw it on tv, you guys are pervs!"

                            *shakes head*

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth superhotelworker View Post
                              No worse than the guy that told my mom that we "better not film him through the mirror. I saw it on tv, you guys are pervs!"

                              *shakes head*
                              "Don't worry sir, we only do that if the guests are actually attractive".
                              Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

                              Comment

                              Previous template Next
                              Working...
                              X