Tales From Department 5 vol. 1

[Jester]

SC: No. You need to tell me how I can get free internet.

SC: I have a desktop. I want free wireless on it.

Translation:

SC: No. You need to tell me how to steal someone else's wireless.

SC: I have a desktop. I'm just too fucking cheap to pay for wireless.

Me: That's quite a bit more than 20 items. A lane with a belt would be able to check you out faster...
SCM: Hi! *piles items on tiny counterspace AS FAST AS HE POSSIBLY CAN*

Translation:

Me: That's quite a bit more than 20 items. A lane with a belt would be able to check you out faster...
SCM: I don't give a shit!

Our machines are old. I'm not even sure if the new ones can do that. I know the registers we use can't.

To be fair, I can understand them being annoyed by not being able to see this. It's not your fault, of course, but I can understand why that would bother customers.

SCM: Then how do we know we're not getting scammed?

Try reviewing your receipt, genius. It may not be the high tech way to do it, but it is still a very good way to do it anyway.

Me: Sorry, I've been out of stock for a few hours now.
SC: So You're out of stock?

We get this in the food service industry ALL...THE....TIME!

JESTER: "Here's the beer menu, folks. Please be advised that we are out of Rapscallion's Raunchy Rat Ale at this time."
SC: "So you don't have any Raunchy Rat Ale?"
JESTER: "Um, no."

JESTER: "What can I get for you folks?"
SC: "We'd like the Plaidman Portabello Mushroom Sandwich, please."
JESTER: "I'm sorry, we're all out of the Plaidman Portabello today. Can I get you something else?"
SC: "So, no Plaidman Portabello, huh?"
JESTER: "....no."

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseum! If we're out of it, and we tell them we're out of it, someone will ask if we're out of it, right after we've told them that we are, in fact, out of it.

They're not confused. They get it. They're just to narcissistic to care.

No no no. I think a great many of them really are confused. Or, as I prefer to state it, "fucking stupid."

Shame I can't walk the aisle nonstop with a cattle prod . . . .

Oh, you can. It's just unlikely that you'd still have a job afterwards, or that you wouldn't have to answer some very pointed questions from the local law enforcement professionals.

[Mytical]

Ah the memories..the horrid horrible memories of zoning. Since 1st or 2nd shift couldn't be bothered to 'zone'..being too busy and all . Now I admit, 3rd shift was kinda slow, so zoning was possible. It is the fact that the 'end caps' had to be zoned also. While zoning the end caps (especially the bottom of the end caps) it is impossible to see the registers. With ONE person on register..yeah it was an exercise in futility.

Wait .. I am getting way off topic..hmm wonder if some horror stories from Wally world are in order....

[Rapscallion]

JESTER: "Here's the beer menu, folks. Please be advised that we are out of Rapscallion's Raunchy Rat Ale at this time."

Not just a name, but a brand!

Rapscallion

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

What the hell is zoning?

I call it straightening, but for all intents and purposes it never happens.

[mharbourgirl]

must refrain...from making comment.

ergh, what is it with people and quick checkouts? there's a limit, maybe it's the word 'limit' that confuses them?

It doesn't confuse them, not in the slightest. It's a psychological quirk: They see 'Limit' or any other word that denotes a rule or boundary, and they become immediately determined to do whatever it is they were just told not to do.

It's even worse when they're told to do something that makes perfect sense in the context of the situation and instantly refuse to do that one thing, just because 'nobody tells ME what to do!'.

Kids do this, and it's normal. When this behaviour carries over into adulthood we've got a situation on our hands.