I.P. Freleigh's Checkout Conundrum

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Pop quiz everybody!

So you've just finished your shopping at da swamp and are ready to checkout. You happen upon a checkout lane where:

• the light is out
• nobody is physically standing behind the register, and
• there's a rolling rack of CDs blocking the way to the register

What do you do?

A. find a different, open checkout lane, or

B. gently ram your cart into the rack of CDs a couple times, ask nobody in particular "Hello? Why can't I get through here to check out? Hello? Somebody?", then as one Irving Patrick Freleigh ambles by trying not to laugh at you, corner him, call him "ma'am" apparently missing his facial stubble and his not-particularly-long hair, and ask him why that checkout lane is blocked off and can he ring up your stuff.

If you chose A, you are much too smart to be shopping at the swamp and should instead patronize Brookstone, or Hammacher Schlemmer or some other egghead place because you are so damn smart.

[ExRetailDrone]

Oh gads, what did you say?



And while this story should have made my faith in humanity drop a few points, it didn't... so apparently I have lost more of that than I originally thought.

[Food Lady]

Completely clueless. I thought MY customers were bad! Although someone thought it would be a good idea to leave a cart in the walkway, in between the inside and outside doors. But Irv, your customers are a unique brand of special.

[Android Kaeli]

Well at least they didn't throw anything at you when they couldn't check out right away.

[McGoddess09]

then as one Irving Patrick Freleigh ambles by trying not to laugh at you, corner him, call him "ma'am" apparently missing his facial stubble and his not-particularly-long hair, and ask him why that checkout lane is blocked off and can he ring up your stuff.

Wait...so you're NOT a woman? Well damn!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I have been referred to as "ma'am" several times in the past year, this despite the fact I have a goatee and a very deep masculine voice. I can't explain it any more than you can.

[zombiequeen]

I was called sir once, but the dude was also commenting on my...curvature as well so I think he was either trying to be funny or was stoned.
Maybe they thought that was the super-special-secret-spy discount checkout! You have to know the secret code, which involves redefining the definition of gender.