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I was working a food booth during a PTA Fall Festival at out elementary school last weekend. I was a volunteer, and the proceeds of the booth go directly to the PTA - and thus to the school. The event used tickets rather than cash at the booths. The tickets were twenty-five cents each and were purchased at several ticket booths within the event. My booth sold sausages on a stick, one of the most popular items at the event – and one of the priciest at four tickets each.
I was one of four taking tickets and distributing these juicy things. I (happily) avoided having to stand over the grills behind me, but this meant I got to deal with “customers”.
Memorable “Customer” # 1 (AKA Ms. Bloated Spice in a Mumu) Bought one, bit into a piece and began screaming that there was salt on it. She spat it out of her polyp of a mouth in front of others waiting in line. Since she didn’t bother to use the napkin provided, the contents of her mouth spewed out onto the ground and onto those having the misfortune of being next to her. She claimed we had poisoned her since she was on a strict, salt-free diet. I gave her her tickets back just out of the spirit of good PR we were supposed to be instilling at the event.
Of course, it never dawned on you, madam. that foods sold at carnival booths like ours usually are not designed for special diets – AND you certainly never considered that it might be prudent to ask before you bought one if salt (the most utilized spice) had been used in the preparation.
Memorable “Customer” # 2 (AKA Mr. Legal Scammer Wannabe) Handed me one ticket after I told him they were four apiece. Then, when I told him he was three tickets short, stated that since I had accepted that ticket, it was a legal and binding acceptance of payment in full because he had written “payment in full” on the back of the ticket. He then smiled smugly and said that was “The Law”. Riiiiiiight. I asked him if he cared to guess how many attorneys were working the booth right then who could give us a quick, legal opinion of his knowledge of basic contract law. I got the attention of a few of them and told them what Mr. Scammer Wannabe was claiming. We all had a good laugh in his face over that one.
Yes. You, sir, are one brilliant legal scholar. Not.
Memorable “Customer” #3 (AKA Mr. Let’s Make a Deal) Tried to work a bargain to get three for the price of two. Sorry, not going to happen. Then he asked for the manager. Suuuure. I turned to the guy next to me and asked him as the “manager” if this was possible. The guy next to me caught on fast, smiled and said there was no negotiating the price. Mr. Deal wanted to speak with someone higher up, but we told him he either needed to pay the price or leave. He turned and left with the parting shot that we obviously had no concept of capitalism.
This was for charity, fella, and we knew we would sell out before the end of the night (and we did), so we had no incentive to offer discounts.
Memorable “Customer” #4 (AKA Officer Moocher) Wore a full uniform with badge, cut in line and ordered one from me. He looked incredulous when I told him it would be four tickets. He looked down at his badge, then up at me expectantly. I followed his eyes to his chest, nodded my acknowledgment of his badge, then looked back up at him and repeated that it would be four tickets. He looked annoyed and told me to forget it.
Though you wisely never verbally articulated your expectation of free food, “Officer”, YOU were being paid to be there. WE were volunteers and still were paying for everything we ate or drank.
So glad that is over.
I was one of four taking tickets and distributing these juicy things. I (happily) avoided having to stand over the grills behind me, but this meant I got to deal with “customers”.
Memorable “Customer” # 1 (AKA Ms. Bloated Spice in a Mumu) Bought one, bit into a piece and began screaming that there was salt on it. She spat it out of her polyp of a mouth in front of others waiting in line. Since she didn’t bother to use the napkin provided, the contents of her mouth spewed out onto the ground and onto those having the misfortune of being next to her. She claimed we had poisoned her since she was on a strict, salt-free diet. I gave her her tickets back just out of the spirit of good PR we were supposed to be instilling at the event.
Of course, it never dawned on you, madam. that foods sold at carnival booths like ours usually are not designed for special diets – AND you certainly never considered that it might be prudent to ask before you bought one if salt (the most utilized spice) had been used in the preparation.
Memorable “Customer” # 2 (AKA Mr. Legal Scammer Wannabe) Handed me one ticket after I told him they were four apiece. Then, when I told him he was three tickets short, stated that since I had accepted that ticket, it was a legal and binding acceptance of payment in full because he had written “payment in full” on the back of the ticket. He then smiled smugly and said that was “The Law”. Riiiiiiight. I asked him if he cared to guess how many attorneys were working the booth right then who could give us a quick, legal opinion of his knowledge of basic contract law. I got the attention of a few of them and told them what Mr. Scammer Wannabe was claiming. We all had a good laugh in his face over that one.
Yes. You, sir, are one brilliant legal scholar. Not.
Memorable “Customer” #3 (AKA Mr. Let’s Make a Deal) Tried to work a bargain to get three for the price of two. Sorry, not going to happen. Then he asked for the manager. Suuuure. I turned to the guy next to me and asked him as the “manager” if this was possible. The guy next to me caught on fast, smiled and said there was no negotiating the price. Mr. Deal wanted to speak with someone higher up, but we told him he either needed to pay the price or leave. He turned and left with the parting shot that we obviously had no concept of capitalism.
This was for charity, fella, and we knew we would sell out before the end of the night (and we did), so we had no incentive to offer discounts.
Memorable “Customer” #4 (AKA Officer Moocher) Wore a full uniform with badge, cut in line and ordered one from me. He looked incredulous when I told him it would be four tickets. He looked down at his badge, then up at me expectantly. I followed his eyes to his chest, nodded my acknowledgment of his badge, then looked back up at him and repeated that it would be four tickets. He looked annoyed and told me to forget it.
Though you wisely never verbally articulated your expectation of free food, “Officer”, YOU were being paid to be there. WE were volunteers and still were paying for everything we ate or drank.
So glad that is over.
I love that you didn't let this EW get away with abusing his position.
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