No Means No

[FArchivist]

Dude, you've already been passed to me as a supervisor by CoWorker because Boss is out today and I'm the only other guy here. Don't get started with me. No, a tech hasn't been out to work on your machine yet. From the notes, you called in four times on Friday to request one. Because you don't have a service contract with us, your ass is billable on an hourly rate for service on the printer. That makes you low priority, no matter how urgently you've requested service, because you haven't even provided a method of payment yet. That means you're low man on the field tech's totem pole until you pony up some cash.

Do I think it's good policy to treat people this way who've bought one of our products? I don't have an opinion. It's corporate policy. Clients with service contracts receive priority. People who pay up front receive priority. That's the policy.

No, I really don't have any opinion on it, sir. I am just an employee; I obey the policy.

WHAT? The guards at Auschwitz said that? Did you just call me a Nazi? You want that call cancelled right quick for abusive behavior?

Why yes, asshole, I can and will refuse you service. You're not a client. No, just because you bought one of our printers two years ago doesn't make you a customer. It just makes you a dude who bought one of our products. Our clients have service contract. You have NO service contract.

Oh, you're going to give a half-sincere apology and demand urgent service over the weekend? Fine. That's a $1200.00 minimum for after-hours service and method of payment up front, credit card, check, or PO.

You think you shouldn't have to pay it due to the delay? Tough. Everyone pays it. Even clients with service contracts.

No, I won't give you tech support over the phone. Billable calls are not allowed to receive technical support over the phone. Field techs only. Yes, that's policy. You make that crack about the guards again and you won't even receive a field tech.

I'm sorry you don't think our policy is very friendly for the "little guy". We're a multi-nat; what the fuck do you think we care about the little guy? We don't do little guy business. Our printers and copiers are geared SPECIFICALLY for large corporate clientele. You want little guy, get an HP or a Canon.

You want service first thing Monday? I'll note that in the call. No, I won't guarantee it. Field techs make their own schedule. They tell me what their schedule is, not the other way around.

You want to speak to the field tech's supervisor? I don't have that information, sir. You'll have to ask the field tech.

Sure, feel free to complain to the BBB and take your business elsewhere.

No, I haven't cancelled the call.

Yeah, goodbye to you too, jackass.

*****

And we have a two-fer!

So here I am sitting pretty next to my CoWorker and she gets a call. It seems there was a fire in the building of a client and they put the fire out with water on the floor above the machine. The water starts dripping down onto the four copiers in their office from the ceiling. I just HAD to listen in.

Do they move the machines from where the water is dripping?

Hell no!

Do they cover the machines at all?

Hell no!

Do they try to operate the machines, when they are in LARGE PUDDLES OF STANDING WATER, when they have STANDING WATER IN THE MACHINES, on the copy screens, puddled in the document feeder on top, puddled in the trays?

HELL YES!

Do they get sparks and smoke?

HELL YES!

Do we tell them the machines are goners probably, wait for a technician to come out on Monday, do not use?

HELL YES!

Oh, and of course they want urgent service! Oh yeah! Critical machines! Absolutely necessary for the business! Urgent! URGENT!
Right. We'll get right on that, buddy.

[Amina516]

uh....wow.


Have a beer, dude.

[bainsidhe]

I dunno, that last call probably would've made my night. Yeah, I'm evil.

[EvilEmpryss]

For guy #1: Damn. If the repair is going to start at $1200, just get a new f-ing printer. I guarantee that unless it's a major super-duper extra-special professional printer, going down to your nearest box store will get you a working printer faster and cheaper than waiting for the repair.

For the second set: they got what they deserved. Idjits.

[Android Kaeli]

Good grief, I spent what the base repair cost is on my TV, TWO computers, a new moniter, AND my 3-in1 printer/fax machine/copier. I'd think it would be much cheaper to just go out and get a new one.

[MoonCat]

Wait, they didn't even try to move or cover the copiers?? Then I guess I shouldn't be surprised they were dumb enough to try to operate them when they were soaking wet...

[Shalom]

Wait, they didn't even try to move or cover the copiers?? Then I guess I shouldn't be surprised they were dumb enough to try to operate them when they were soaking wet...

I dunno, some of those machines can be pretty darn heavy, and might not have been movable without help, especially if there's a carpet. Nor do many offices have large tarpaulins in the closet for covering machines with. That said, pull the freaking plug and walk away! Wet by itself does not cause damage; wet + electricity, on the other hand...

[Darkforge]

Wait, but they had four copiers, you'd think they'd at least try to move ONE of the machines.

even if they are immobile (which I highly doubt) you'd think that noone would be stupid enough to go up to one copier, brush the water off the control panel, use it and then see it go boom in smoke and sparks, wonder why and then repeat the exact same thing another THREE times!.

Was it an Argabarga thread last week called something along the lines of "Stupid is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results"?

[Argabarga]

Ah, Godwin's Law, it's not just for arguing on the internet anymore!

[Shalom]

even if they are immobile (which I highly doubt) you'd think that noone would be stupid enough to go up to one copier, brush the water off the control panel, use it and then see it go boom in smoke and sparks, wonder why and then repeat the exact same thing another THREE times!.

Was it an Argabarga thread last week called something along the lines of "Stupid is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results"?

There's a classic story from an old-time computer tech about how some luser in a company he supported had a head crash on one of his removable hard disk packs, ruining the platter. Tried it in the second drive, ruined the drive. Tried a different disk pack in that drive, ruined the pack. Tried that one in the third drive, ruined the drive. Et bloody cetera. They had to call DEC to get an emergency shipment of new drive hardware because every drive and every disk pack in the place was ruined.

(edit - there's a version of the story at the bottom of http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_drives.shtml ; I seem to remember it a little differently, but whatever.)

So, yeah, sometimes people really are that stupid.

[FArchivist]

I dunno, some of those machines can be pretty darn heavy, and might not have been movable without help, especially if there's a carpet. Nor do many offices have large tarpaulins in the closet for covering machines with. That said, pull the freaking plug and walk away! Wet by itself does not cause damage; wet + electricity, on the other hand...

These machines were on wheels that should work just fine even in deep heavy pile carpet, much less the usual office pile. The only type of our machines that are really not portable are the VERY high-end ones, which have built-in Fiery and are 12-15 feet long.

But yeah, even pulling the plug...

[Faeshard]

Ah, Godwin's Law, it's not just for arguing on the internet anymore!

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1020 :P

[mattm04]

I dunno, some of those machines can be pretty darn heavy, and might not have been movable without help, especially if there's a carpet. Nor do many offices have large tarpaulins in the closet for covering machines with. That said, pull the freaking plug and walk away! Wet by itself does not cause damage; wet + electricity, on the other hand...

We have had leaks and no readily available tarps. A roll of trash bags, scissors and some tape along whit unplugging the machine would have have worked until tarps could be procured or the machines moved.