Uncle Khiras blows a gasket... (As always, vulger!)

[jedikuonji]

I've been working in hotels for about 9 years now and I still can't figure out how people think it's smart business for a hotel to not sell rooms. Yea, we keep our super secret block of rooms set aside, but we aren't allowed to sell them. They just sit empty on the off chance that YOU call. We're so happy you called us, we can finally use your special reserved room!

[Becks]

Although I do enjoy your usual bouts of sarcasm, my favorite story was the military wife. I'm so happy for them having a wonderful weekend and glad you got such a nice thank you.

My sentiments exactly.

[AyreBiskits]

I’m going to start a reservations movement called Serious Help In Timing. We will organize into bands and spread out across the nation, and then the world. Our dedicated teams of SHIT workers will move about, trying to educate the unwashed masses about the fact that, if they think a place might even remotely be popular over, say, a weekend just before a holiday, then maybe they ought to plan ahead for that! How thankful we all will be for the fact that, at my behest, we were able to fling SHIT across the entire world to educate people with, smearing the SHIT-truth across their blank faces, pounding it into their heads through their gaping, drooling maws.

SHIT-fo’-life, suckas!!!

i'd like to join your Serious Help in Timing movement and have it extended to educating bosses who seem to think you alone can do a project in 3 hours that would realistically take 3 people 30 hours each to complete.

[EricKei]

I'd like to join, as well. My immediate super needs some serious help with this...For example...

My boss (and, more directly, his office manager/GF) have been riding me to get more billable appointments. I managed to score a decent one today, and what were the first words out of her mouth? "Well, are you sure you'll have time to get this week's (NON-billable) marketing mailout done?" -- It took everything I had to explain to her that, as long as I have 4 hours uninterrupted to deal with the data file, the rest of it can be worked on pretty much at any time and still get done with time to spare...I was a full DAY ahead of schedule last week, and still she gives me shit. She's even tried to PREVENT me from doing a billable session because the marketing wasn't done yet (note: not yet DUE, just in progress) >_<

[KhirasHY]

We'll be holding a training seminar next month. Sign up now to attend SHITFEST!

[Jay 2K Winger]

I wish I could hate you to death.

That's what I call "I wish I could kill you with MIND BULLETS."

Captain Douchebag

"GIVE ME A DISCOUNT, OR I'LL F**KING SACK YOU! CAAAAPTAAAAINNN DOUCHEBAG!"

If you call up a hotel for reservations, and you spend the entire conversation loudly belching directly into the phone every 20-30 seconds

BOOMER!

[fireheart]

Re the Zucchini vs. the Cucumber....maybe the spines referred to the end of the zucchini?

[dalesys]

I just remember the yucchini horrors my mother fed us... they were hairy... we knew she hated us...

[Duelist925]

A: Dear lord, I am amazed you haven't actually beaten anyone to death yet. With a fossil or otherwise. O.o

B:Minecraft ftw.

[Andara Bledin]

B:Minecraft ftw.

Yet more proof that gameplay is more important than graphics.

^-.-^

[Jester]

Awesome post. I was going to post the comments you had that made me laugh my ass off, but there were too many of them, so take that as a compliment!

they do website updates or PR releases about packages before making sure we’re ready to sell them.

I would suggest that you type up a much nicer version of this story and submit it to corporate with your next complaint about the web page guys. Because they are pretty much killing you by not coordination, and the head honchos really should do something to alleviate this problem.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am, we are sold out on that day.
SC: You don’t have ANYTHING left?

That's generally what "sold out" means. Hell, that's exactly what "sold out" means. As in all of them are out, having been sold. None in. None available. There is nothing left. The pantry is bare. The shelves are empty. Zero, nada, zilch, nothing, that's it, kaput, NO MORE.

a street address, with city and zip code is a requirement!

And just why is a zip code required if you are just trying to find the place? Unless you work for the post office or are mailing something to the place, a zip code is NOT required. Get off it, Mail Man Mike.

One should be able to go to your website homepage and see the address and phone number clearly.

Which apparently everyone but you CAN.

SC: So what are we going to do then?

WE are not going to do anything. KHIRAS going to go back to work, and YOU are going to go have to find alternate plans. If you're hoping for anything other than this, your hope is in vain.

“That won’t happen, we hop on the phones.”

Over the course of the night, I received 132 more calls, each of which had an average wait time of 23 minutes overall (some waited longer, some didn’t). Why? Because no one else answered a single call. For four and a half hours. So, what does this tell me now?

That your managers are lazy hypocritical liars.

SC: So if we came in at 11:30, could we just sit?

Hilarious. And of course, if you allowed that, they would then bitch that they weren't being served quickly enough, despite their reservation being at 12:30. This is not assumption on my part. This is experience.

I have actually seen it where, before a place I work at is open, we will have people at the doors, and every now and then, they will ask if they can "just come in and sit and wait" until we are open. Most of the time, intelligence prevails, and management or coworkers say no, but on the few times they have allowed this, almost EVERY SINGLE TIME the people then start acting very impatiently. "Are you open yet?" "Can we just get a drink while we're waiting?" "Can we just order now and you can put the order in when you're open?" Answers: No, we're not. No, because I am not done setting up the bar, which is what I am in the process of doing the hour before we are open. And no, because then you will bitch when it takes a while for you to get it, since neither the front of the house staff nor the kitchen are ready to start yet. Why aren't we ready? Because we're still setting up. Why are we still setting up? Because this is the time we use to set up, because.... (deep breath, wait for it).....WE AREN'T FUCKING OPEN YET.

Me: They would not be open at 10am, they start serving at 12pm…although they are full for the entire day, every table already, it seems.
SC: But nothing at 10am?

Yes, dear. We actually do have an opening at 10 am for the restaurant that doesn't open until noon. You and your party are more than welcome to come fill that opening at 10 am. In the dumpster.

SC: It’s my mother’s 70th birthday, can’t you squeeze her in at either place?

How about the broom closet? If she's not overly fat, we could probably squeeze her in there. The rest of your party is fucked, though.

SC: But it’s her 70th birthday!

And for that you and your family should bend over backwards to make sure the old biddy has a wonderful day. But your expectations that anyone else will do the same are....what's the polite word for it....completely fucked.

zucchini are spiny

No. They're not. I eat them all the time, skin on. No spikes.

how about those horny melons? those have some rather big spikes on them...

If you want something spikey, go for sea urchins. Nothing looks more painful than these things.

[Andara Bledin]

If you want something spikey, go for sea urchins. Nothing looks more painful than these things.

Don't forget venemous, too. Bonus!

^-.-^

[Jester]

Don't forget venemous, too.

I did not know that. Only ever seen them at sushi restaurants. Pretty much the only seafood I've ever tried that I hate. (I am not fond of abalone, but because it has no taste, not a foul taste like urchin.) Great presentation, though, in those shells....but those shells would HURT.

[Duelist925]

Yet more proof that gameplay is more important than graphics.

^-.-^

Exactly! I'd much rather be building a giant 1:1 scale replica Enterprise (someone has actually done this, but not me) than working on my nano!
...
...I said that last part outloud, didn't I?

[Andara Bledin]

Have you seen the replica globes people have done?

Some people have waaaaay too much time on their hands.

^-.-^