I wanna shoot the whole day down...

[EricKei]

Why is muenster cheese specifically something messy to slice? I'm curious . . .

It's been years, but, iirc, it streaks. Leaves lots of "debris" behind on the slicer in the form of long strands of cheese that are ground into the holding platform. Hard to clean.

I would also like to nominate hogshead cheese for the list of stuff that you don't really wanna have to slice -- tho, much like liverwurst, people tend to get it sliced really really thick. Pray they don't want it "thin" (1/4 of an inch or less), or it'll simply disintegrate on the machine.

[Jester]

(oatmeal raisin cookies for anyone who gets title reference...)

Oatmeal raisin cookies....some of my favorites! Even before I started reading the thread, I had the Boomtown Rats' "I Don't Like Mondays" in my head. Catchy tune. Amazing to me that Bob Geldof and his bandmates didn't have more hits.

Now, I work very fast. Not to brag, but yeah, I work fast, I get a lot of compliments on it.

I do my thing, "bam-bam-it's done" and ask him if there will be anything else?
Old man: "Wow, you work fast! Are you in a hurry or something?"

OM: "Well, you look koo-koo, you shouldn't be in such a hurry all the time. Are you koo-koo??"

OM: "...just...slow down..."

I work the same way behind the bar when I am busy. My coworkers sometimes think I am frantic when in fact I am just working at my comfortable busy speed, but I think of it as Hurricane Jester (more on this below). A lot of times, when a lot of people show up all at once, or I'm busy, I'll be moving and grooving, getting stuff done, taking drink and food orders, giving out menus, making drinks for bar customers, making drinks for service bar, ringing stuff in, cashing people out, doing discounts for the servers (since the manager usually leaves his card with me), etc., etc., etc. You get the idea. And a lot of time when I'm moving at Jester Mach 2, someone will come in and I'll say, "Be with you in a moment." And they'll say, "Take your time." To which I say, "Okay, I'll be with you next Thursday!" This will get a laugh most times. Sometimes, when I say I'll be with them in a moment, they'll say, "No rush." To which I say, "I don't have that option!" Sometimes a laugh.

Alternatively, someone will offer me a Xanax, saying I need to relax. "No can do!" I DO love the people who see that I am busy, and I tell them that I'll be with them "in a moment," and they start to blurt out their order, though it is clear I am not ready for them. I politely reiterate that I will be with them "in a moment," and 30 seconds later, these Paragons of Patience have decided, fuck this, and left the bar. My philosophy? Fuck them. If you can't wait a moment or two for a bartender to help you out, you don't deserve to drink, and frankly, your an asshole.

As for Hurricane Jester, true story: one night when I was waiting tables on the roof deck and we had a band, the place was packed, and I was in full on whirlwind mode. Efficient as hell, but FAST. All night long. At the end of the night, as we're cleaning up and the band is breaking down, the lead singer says, "Hey, the band has been making bets on this....how many pots of coffee did you drink before work today?" I looked him dead in the eye and told him the truth: "None. I don't drink any caffeine." He looked more shocked than a vegan at a slaughterhouse!

What I need explained to me though, would be WHY this woman chose, instead of standing in one place for a few minutes to ask someone in the know, to walk to the back of the store and ask a mere deli-jock, who handles no money or checks. Ever.

I actually have a reasonable explanation for that one. It is very possible that this woman did not know that you worked exclusively at the deli, and that you did not handle money. I have had grocery location questions answered by pharmacy workers, and I have also had cashiers not know the answer to a deli question. I figure it never hurts to ask, as long as I am polite and not a pisshead when the person is not able to answer my question due to not being familiar with that section.

I know it's only Monday, but can you think of a better reason to drink?

Because it's Tuesday?

God I hate these people with a passion. Nine times out of ten they have never worked a day in their lives. Either they were on government assistance, or they got a lot of stuff handed to them.

Or perhaps they're just fuckheads.

These people burn my blood even more. Much like the previous group, this person is either on some kind of meds or has been in and out of institutional living.

Or perhaps they're just fuckheads.

I have rarely met people with actual day jobs being as antisocial or rude as people like this act.

Oh hell, I have. I deal with lots of people, with actual jobs, who are complete and total dickheads, assholes, fuckturds, etc, etc, etc. Pick your favorite insult. You don't have to be on meds or unemployed to be an asshole, my friend. Don't believe me?

Ask your favorite bartender.

Hmm, drinking right before work sounds like the perfect time to drink to me. Might make the customers look a little better.

Never stopped me. But then, I work in a place where my boss has stopped when I walked in the door, at 10 in the morning, an hour before we even open, and asked me to check out the latest rum he was thinking of stocking. Yes. Drinking straight rum before I've even clocked in....and doing so WITH the boss.

Hey, I never said my job totally sucked. Just some of the douchebag customers.

Who in the blue hells slices *liverwurst*??? Messy's GOT to be the understatement of the millenia!

It's pate. You scoop it up in globs and spread it on rye crisps. Sometimes with cream cheese. But sliced? Why?

Methinks you are confused, my friend.

Chopped liver is the pate stuff you spread on crackers and bagels and what not.

Liverwurst is a deli meat, a cold cut, a luncheon meat, call it what you will. (Personally, I call it disgusting, as it and, ironically, muenster cheese were the bane of my childhood. Well, them and lima beans. Yuck, yuck, and yuck.)

[EricKei]

Aye, Jester has it right. Liverwusrt isn't all that far removed from baloney, at least, in outward appearance.

[mharbourgirl]

OK, now I'm confused. The stuff I've always seen labeled as 'liverwurst' is this thick pasty stuff that tastes amazing. Chopped liver is what my grandmother did to calves' livers before she fried them with onions.

I have never heard of liverwurst that was a cold cut. It doesn't appear to be a Canadian thing, or at least the parts of Canada I've lived in.

[Jester]

I cannot on Canadian cuisine, as I am not Canadian, nor have I ever been in Canada.

However, in my 40 years of living La Vida Americana, I have learned that liverwurst is a coldcut I can't stand, chopped liver is a pate-style spread that tastes amazing on bagels, and chopped calves livers are chopped calves livers. In other words, your grandmother chopping up calves livers was not your grandmother making chopped liver. Make sense?

Edited to Add: I don't think this is a regional U.S. thing, either, as I have experienced the above in the Northeast, Southwest, and Southeast (NY/NJ, AZ, and FL), without variation.

[mharbourgirl]

I cannot on Canadian cuisine, as I am not Canadian, nor have I ever been in Canada.

However, in my 40 years of living La Vida Americana, I have learned that liverwurst is a coldcut I can't stand, chopped liver is a pate-style spread that tastes amazing on bagels, and chopped calves livers are chopped calves livers. In other words, your grandmother chopping up calves livers was not your grandmother making chopped liver. Make sense?

Edited to Add: I don't think this is a regional U.S. thing, either, as I have experienced the above in the Northeast, Southwest, and Southeast (NY/NJ, AZ, and FL), without variation.

I learn something new every day, huh? The only one of the three I'd actually eat is the pate. The coldcut sounds ick, and fried liver is the second-most disgusting thing called food in the western hemisphere.

[Jester]

I love liver. I loved chopped liver.

If I never eat liverwurst again in my life, I am totally fine with that. Vile wretched shit.