a couple of doozies from WM.
Only for Black people
The players:
MBW: Mad Black Woman
CW: co-worker
Me: me
DM: dept. manger
(thoughts dared not said)
OC picks up a Tyler Perry movie, she is Hispanic (this is important) she buys the movie and she is completely cool.
MBW: EXCUSE ME!!!!!
Me: Yes?
MBW: I wasn't talkin' to you whitey.
Me: Oh, okay. ( Thank god. )
MBW: (to CW) EXCUSE ME!!
CW: Yes?
MBW: Why you sellin' Tyler Perry movies to illegals? You can't sell 'em to anyone but Black people.
CW: I'm sorry?
MBW: You ain't sellin these movies to anyone but Black people.
CW: I really can't refuse a sale based on race.
MBW: Look, are you tryin' to betray our race?
CW: No.
MBW: Man, you ain't got no pride, in yo' race.
CW: Would you like to speak to a manager?
MBW: No. A manger would just be a whitey like that idiot over there.<refers to me>
CW: I'm sorry but...
MBW: Man, I will write to the attorney general about this.
Cw: Okay.
MBW: F-ck you. I'm leavin'.
Me and CW (yipee!)
MBW: You shouldn't be workin' together. Whitey will corrupt us.
<exeunt MBW enter DM>
DM: was she screaming at y'all?
Me: Yeah, she was complaing that we sold a Tyler Perry movie to someone who wasn't black.
DM: Oh Lord. That woman is a crackhead, she's always knocking on my door asking for money. I've got your backs in case she tries to complain to management.
Me: Thank you.
CW: Yeah, thanks. (re: MBW) What a nutjob
DM: Look, at least you don't have to live near her.
It's in the water, or something
The players:
Me: me
SC: SC
CW: Co-worker
M: manager
<I am working at the service desk>
SC: Hi wanna return some items. (it's some towels and a sheet set, i process her return) and give her her cash back)
Me: Okay..
SC: I just want to tall you that i don't appreciate what your store did to my child.
Me: I'm sorry would you like to talk to a manager?
SC: Maybe a manager can undo the damage caused to my family by you and your store.
M: Hi.
SC: YOU MADE MY SON GAY!!!
M: ma'am please calm sown.
SC: CALM DOWN?? MY SON IS GAY THANKS TO YOU!!!!
M: Ma'am, I ..
SC: YOU HAVE GAY EMPLOYEES HERe, RIGHT?
M: I am not at liberty to discuss personal details about my workers.
SC: YOU WON'T!!! YOU TURNED MY SON GAY!!
M: Ma'am please calm down.
SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
M: Ma'am please..
SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.
M: I'm sorry ma'am, but I am not in an position to offer..
SC: FINE I"M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN, AND I"LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS OF YOUR PRACTICES!!!
<exeunt SC>
Only for Black people
The players:
MBW: Mad Black Woman
CW: co-worker
Me: me
DM: dept. manger
(thoughts dared not said)
OC picks up a Tyler Perry movie, she is Hispanic (this is important) she buys the movie and she is completely cool.
MBW: EXCUSE ME!!!!!
Me: Yes?
MBW: I wasn't talkin' to you whitey.
Me: Oh, okay. ( Thank god. )
MBW: (to CW) EXCUSE ME!!
CW: Yes?
MBW: Why you sellin' Tyler Perry movies to illegals? You can't sell 'em to anyone but Black people.
CW: I'm sorry?
MBW: You ain't sellin these movies to anyone but Black people.
CW: I really can't refuse a sale based on race.
MBW: Look, are you tryin' to betray our race?
CW: No.
MBW: Man, you ain't got no pride, in yo' race.
CW: Would you like to speak to a manager?
MBW: No. A manger would just be a whitey like that idiot over there.<refers to me>
CW: I'm sorry but...
MBW: Man, I will write to the attorney general about this.
Cw: Okay.
MBW: F-ck you. I'm leavin'.
Me and CW (yipee!)
MBW: You shouldn't be workin' together. Whitey will corrupt us.
<exeunt MBW enter DM>
DM: was she screaming at y'all?
Me: Yeah, she was complaing that we sold a Tyler Perry movie to someone who wasn't black.
DM: Oh Lord. That woman is a crackhead, she's always knocking on my door asking for money. I've got your backs in case she tries to complain to management.
Me: Thank you.
CW: Yeah, thanks. (re: MBW) What a nutjob
DM: Look, at least you don't have to live near her.
It's in the water, or something
The players:
Me: me
SC: SC
CW: Co-worker
M: manager
<I am working at the service desk>
SC: Hi wanna return some items. (it's some towels and a sheet set, i process her return) and give her her cash back)
Me: Okay..
SC: I just want to tall you that i don't appreciate what your store did to my child.
Me: I'm sorry would you like to talk to a manager?
SC: Maybe a manager can undo the damage caused to my family by you and your store.
M: Hi.
SC: YOU MADE MY SON GAY!!!
M: ma'am please calm sown.
SC: CALM DOWN?? MY SON IS GAY THANKS TO YOU!!!!
M: Ma'am, I ..
SC: YOU HAVE GAY EMPLOYEES HERe, RIGHT?
M: I am not at liberty to discuss personal details about my workers.
SC: YOU WON'T!!! YOU TURNED MY SON GAY!!
M: Ma'am please calm down.
SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
M: Ma'am please..
SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.
M: I'm sorry ma'am, but I am not in an position to offer..
SC: FINE I"M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN, AND I"LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS OF YOUR PRACTICES!!!
<exeunt SC>
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