JESTER: "Thank you for calling The Bar, this is Jester speaking, how may I help you?"
CALLER: "Yes, is New Boss Man in?"
JESTER: "I'll see if he's available, may I ask who's calling?"
WRONG: "This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours, and I'd like to talk to him about doing a Zombie party at The Bar, as we think it would be a great location to do it at, and we'd like to do some cross-promotion with it, maybe make it an annual event, and I'd like to run some ideas by him, such as full Zombie make-up, a contests, raffles, and maybe even a Zombie cookoff.."
RIGHT: "This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours."
Since I am but the Occasional Secretary for my boss (as in when I answer the phone), I don't need to know all about what you are planning. I am tending the bar, something I can't do if you are yakking my ear off. And frankly, telling me all that shit won't help anyways, as all I'm going to say to my boss when I get your motor mouth on hold is, "Hey boss, some guy named Joe Dumbass from Zombie Tours wants to talk to you. Are you available?" If he asks me for elaboration and you have given me all that, I'll probably just tell him that you sound like a schmuck.
Bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is BUSY.
Double bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is buys, and they are just salesmen trying to sell us something we don't need or want, like a new way to process credit cards, yada yada.
Look, I'm a talkative verbose motherfucker, and if *I* think you talk to much, that should be a hint to shut the fuck up.
Sadly, this type of call, of one variation or another, is just about a daily event. I'll give some slack to customers calling to ask about an issue they had or for some information, but if you are a professional tour planner, event planner, salesman, or band manager, or are calling about some other business, you should know that you don't need to give all that information to the fucking gatekeeper.
CALLER: "Yes, is New Boss Man in?"
JESTER: "I'll see if he's available, may I ask who's calling?"
WRONG: "This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours, and I'd like to talk to him about doing a Zombie party at The Bar, as we think it would be a great location to do it at, and we'd like to do some cross-promotion with it, maybe make it an annual event, and I'd like to run some ideas by him, such as full Zombie make-up, a contests, raffles, and maybe even a Zombie cookoff.."
RIGHT: "This is Joe Dumbass with Zombie Tours."
Since I am but the Occasional Secretary for my boss (as in when I answer the phone), I don't need to know all about what you are planning. I am tending the bar, something I can't do if you are yakking my ear off. And frankly, telling me all that shit won't help anyways, as all I'm going to say to my boss when I get your motor mouth on hold is, "Hey boss, some guy named Joe Dumbass from Zombie Tours wants to talk to you. Are you available?" If he asks me for elaboration and you have given me all that, I'll probably just tell him that you sound like a schmuck.
Bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is BUSY.
Double bonus points to people who do this shit to me when the bar is buys, and they are just salesmen trying to sell us something we don't need or want, like a new way to process credit cards, yada yada.
Look, I'm a talkative verbose motherfucker, and if *I* think you talk to much, that should be a hint to shut the fuck up.
Sadly, this type of call, of one variation or another, is just about a daily event. I'll give some slack to customers calling to ask about an issue they had or for some information, but if you are a professional tour planner, event planner, salesman, or band manager, or are calling about some other business, you should know that you don't need to give all that information to the fucking gatekeeper.
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