Cable Conundrums - One Liners

[Phone Jockey]

C: Hey now, if I don’t pay my cable bill, at what point do ya’ll start billing me?

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C: When you say “turn off” my TV, what do you mean by “turn off”?

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C: My fingers aren’t doing what my hands want them to do.

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C: I bought a TV that is way too smart for me.

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C: My dog ate my remote. (Our remotes are about 9" long & 2" inches wide)

[MoonCat]

C: When you say “turn off” my TV, what do you mean by “turn off”?

This person has never seen the TV off. Some days it feels like that around my house (sigh).

C: My dog ate my remote.

Bulldog, perhaps. My friend's English bulldog chewed the accelerator pedal off in his car. Twice. Claims he also "ate" a wicker chair. I'm assuming he just chewed the heck out of it, but...not sure...

[Racket_Man]

heck my dog when he was much younger chewed half of a wooden rocking chair rocker off

[Eisa]

My dog managed to chew through an electrical cord. If he hadn't also managed to pull it out of the wall first, he would probably have electrocuted himself.

[fireheart]

C: My dog ate my remote. (Our remotes are about 9" long & 2" inches wide)

So does that mean that they make great umm....dildos as well?

[SarcasticJerk]

So does that mean that they make great umm....dildos as well?

This is a burning question that must be laid to rest! If you need any assistance in conducting research into this matter, it would be my pleasure to help out. Anything in the name of science.


What? It had to be said.

[LingualMonkey]

C: My dog ate my remote. (Our remotes are about 9" long & 2" inches wide)

Yeah, this one's not that mysterious. My current dog ate part of a recliner, some of a tile floor, and part of a staircase.

[bainsidhe]

Could be the dog also hid it. A former coworker had a kitten that would hide everything under the bed. Slippers, socks, hairbrushes and remotes. That was some kitten.

[alcaholjunkie]

C: My dog ate my remote.

Face it at the cable box and press the nipples on the left to change channel and the ones on the right to change the volume. ^_^ You don't want to know how to put it into stand-by though. :-/

[DGoddessChardonnay]

My dog managed to chew through an electrical cord. If he hadn't also managed to pull it out of the wall first, he would probably have electrocuted himself.

I once had a Shih Tzu that chewed up 2 of my computer cables years ago . . . ended up having to replace the cables (luckily we had a company not far from Big U campus that carried Commodore hardware and software.)

That dog didn't live with us much longer after that.

[Andara Bledin]

C: My dog ate my remote. (Our remotes are about 9" long & 2" inches wide)

Hey, we had a dog that would have no difficulty at all devouring one of those. Two dogs, actually. First, they'd reduce it to little plastic bits, and then they'd inhale them.

^-.-^

[AccountingDrone]

This person has never seen the TV off. Some days it feels like that around my house (sigh).



Bulldog, perhaps. My friend's English bulldog chewed the accelerator pedal off in his car. Twice. Claims he also "ate" a wicker chair. I'm assuming he just chewed the heck out of it, but...not sure...

I had a wolf hybrid that would go through a cows thigh bone as a chew toy in about a week.

I can heartily recommend a butcher's establishment in Salem CT for purveying large hunks of animal carcasses =)

[Kereminde]

. . . wolf hybrid . . .? I rather thought those weren't legal to own as a pet.

Also, friends who do pets tell me wolf hybrids are simply not safe temperament-wise.

[Andara Bledin]

I had a wolf hybrid that would go through a cows thigh bone as a chew toy in about a week.

Ours would take about three days on one of those. We ended up dubbing them both The Destructors.

. . . wolf hybrid . . .? I rather thought those weren't legal to own as a pet.

Also, friends who do pets tell me wolf hybrids are simply not safe temperament-wise.

As with any hybrid to a wild breed, there is a limit to how close to pure the offspring can be before they are legal to be owned without a license. I'm not certain where ours came from (or what the limit is for wolves), but the people who were peddling the one we got claimed she was 1/4 wolf.

To be honest, since people have posted about them here, I think she was actually a Vlcak mutt; the result of someone being stupid with their breeding stock. If you do a Google image search for the term, and pick nearly any of the pictures with the grey coat, that's what she looked like.

^-.-^

[Lala]

C: My dog ate my remote. (Our remotes are about 9" long & 2" inches wide)

Well, if a dog can swallow a butcher knife, I think anything's possible

http://www.dogasaur.com/blog/2010/wt...canine-x-rays/

A friend of my parents left their dog in the garage once. He chewed up the inside of their late '70s Camaro. I heard that even the steering wheel had been dismantled.