Ding that bell one more time and I'll kill you!

[bhskittykatt]

What a weekend.

SATURDAY

Helicopter Mom

I posted about her in another thread, but this mom would not leave her son alone. After I checked him in, she called in freaking out to make sure he got a non-smoking room.

Me: *spiel*
HM: "Your name is bhskittykatt? That's cute! What a cute name!"
Me: *death stare*
HM: "My son just checked in. He needs a non-smoking room! I don't know if I reserved him a non-smoking room! Did he get a non-smoking room?"
Me: "He's in a non-smoking room, but if it has a smell, I can move him."
HM: "He needs a non-smoking room! Wait, you said he is in a non-smoking room?"
Me: "Yes, he is. If he has any issues, he can come down here and we can figure something out."
HM: "Oh, then it's probably fine. Can I talk to him?"

HM had his room number, but she constantly insisted on going through me. At one point, his line was busy. Instead of trying back later like a sane person, I was barraged with this:

HM: "Where is he? Why is his line busy? Who is he talking to?"
Me: "I do not know. All I can tell you is that his line is busy. Would you like to leave a message, or call back later?"
HM: "But why is his line busy? Who is he talking to???"
Me: "I don't know but...wait, it looks like he just hung up. Shall I transfer you?"
HM: "Yes!!!"
As it turned out, her son was on the phone ordering a pizza.

Later, he wasn't answering his phone.

HM: "Why doesn't he answer! It just rings and rings! Where is he???"
Eventually, he did pick up the phone. He had been in the bathroom.

And did I mention that though she could have input his room number during our automated message, she still insisted on going through me every time??? So about 30 times during my shift, I get this:

Me: "Hello, thank you fo..."
HM: "HELLO BHSKITTYKATT! It's me! Can I talk to my son?"
Me:

No ID...wait, JK!

I have been hit with a rash of people lately who have lost there wallets. Okay, two, which is still more than usual. Here is how it went both times. It was almost exactly the same conversation:

Wallet: Person with the dough.
Guest: Person actually staying in the room.
Me:

Wallet: "I need a room. Actually, I'm paying for someone else."
Me: "Okay, I will need the person staying in the room to show me their ID."
Wallet: "But they have no ID!!! How are they supposed to get a room! I'm the one paying for it; why do you need to see their ID?!?! This is ridiculous and unfair!!!"

Wallet then storms out. Wallet returns with Guest.

Guest: "I lost my wallet with all my ID!!! I have nothing!!!" *starts crying*
Me: "Do you have anything that could help?"
Guest: "Well, yeah, *sniffles* I have..." *produces a book of documents such as birth certificate, SSN, utility bills, and other things you would use to obtain ID.
Me: "It's okay, we can work with this..."
Guest: "Really?"

Okay, before you start freaking out, if you have something, then show me what you have!!! If I don't take it, then you can freak out. Don't worry, I am merciful. While policy lists what I can and can't accept in terms of ID, I know things get stolen/lost/etc., so show me what you do have, even if it is atypical, and I'll see what I can do. There's no need to freak out beforehand, though!

SUNDAY

I should just stop answering phones

I was working housekeeping, but I made the mistake of helping the desk CSR by answering the phone while stopping by the office.

Me: "Thank you for calling 'Hotel 2+4', this is Bhskittykatt, how may I..."
HM: "BHSKITTYKATT!!! IT'S ME!!! I love your name it's so cute! Can I talk to my..."
Me: *quickly transfers call*

Oh, dear God...

I dunno, can you?

I have an armload of dirty, nasty laundry. I'm balancing the laundry in one arm while using the other to unlock the temperamental door so I can drop the nasty sheets. As I'm fighting with the lock, I hear the following:

SC: "Hey! Hey! Excuse me! Hey! HEY! HEEEYYYYYYY!!!!!"

I'm still doing my balancing act, so I'm not turning around until I get the laundry put in the laundry cart. Finally, I get the door unlocked, the laundry dropped, and I go see what the SC wants.

SC: "Can I park here?"
Me: *thinking* I dunno, can you?
Me: "You can park anywhere you can find parking. There are no assigned spaces."
SC: "Okay. Should I park here or up there?"
Me: *thinking* I dunno, maybe by your room?
Me: "You can park anywhere. Wherever you like."
SC: "Okay, thanks!"
SC then proceeded to get out and walk towards the office, on the other side of the property.

Monday

You're a little old to be five

8pm I got hit with a wave of people. The line was running out the door. Seriously WTF? It's Monday night!

Anyways, as I'm checking people in as fast as I can, this old man stands in the door, where an IR motion sensor sets off an obnoxious *DING* any time anyone moves in front of it. He starts swaying, setting off a series of *DING* *DING* DING*

Me: "Sir, could you please step aside out of the doorway? You're setting off the bell."
SC: "Oh, I know. I was just playing with it!"
Me:

That's a name?!?!?!

Me: *reads ID*
ID reads: "Ocochobiwangadoodleda George Smith" (not real name, but something crazy along those lines)
Me: "That....that is seriously the longest and most awesome name I think I've ever seen."
Guest: "Yeah, I get that a lot. People just call me 'Oco'".
Me: "That works."

What part of "full" don't you get?

It's 10pm. The busy wave has passed. Yeah, it's odd for us to be that busy on a Monday. Deal with it. That's what I wanted to tell this guy...

SC: "Do you have any rooms on the quiet side?"
Me: "I'm sorry, but everything I have left is on the highway side."
SC: "I see...you have nothing on the quiet side?"
Me: "Sorry, those are all full. I have these rooms left." *shows locations on hotel map*
SC: "Hmmm....nothing at all on the quiet side?"
Me: "Everything on that side is full, sir."

Perhaps they'll try making a reservation next time? (Doubt it. )

How mad will Boss Man be at me for making this sign?

Ice machine died. I was bored with a simple "Out of Order" sign, so the sign on it reads:

Quoth the ice machine: "Goodbye, cruel world!"

Happily, we have more ice in our freezer in the back. Just come to the front desk if you need ice!

Yeah, I was bored. And tired. So sue me.

[Mr Hero]

Did you ever explain to the HM that she could dial her son's room directly? And if I were her son, I'd keep my phone busy so it doesn't constantly ring so I could get some sleep.

SC playing in the doorway: There's a bright side. Every time a bell rings a gets its pair of wings.

I think the guy with the really long name broke one of GK's rules.

[Andara Bledin]

I think the guy with the really long name broke one of GK's rules.

No, no, there's only five O's in there. It's borderline, but the hard limit was six, so he's still marginally ok.

^-.-^

[Antisocial_Worker]

That's a name?!?!?!

Me: *reads ID*
ID reads: "Ocochobiwangadoodleda George Smith" (not real name, but something crazy along those lines)
Me: "That....that is seriously the longest and most awesome name I think I've ever seen."
Guest: "Yeah, I get that a lot. People just call me 'Oco'".
Me: "That works."

I work with a guy whose first name is one of those quasi-African monikers that always sound somewhat interesting when paired with an extremely whitebread last name like he actually happens to have. The first name is eight syllables long, the last name two. Needless to say, he goes by the first syllable of his first name.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

ID reads: "Ocochobiwangadoodleda George Smith" (not real name, but something crazy along those lines)
Me: "That....that is seriously the longest and most awesome name I think I've ever seen."

...I am sure that Gravekeeper would disagree.
Or is 5 Os below quota?

[Festival_Worker]

While I feel sorry for you for having to transfer calls all day, I feel worse for the son. Imagine having to put up with that forever.

[Anakah]

If I ever saw a sign on an ice machine that said goodbye cruel world I would laugh my ass off and definately take a pic with my phone!

And damn to HM! You'd think he'd have a cell phone with a GPS so she could track him all day long!

[Bronzebow]

Re: Helicopter Mom

How old was the son? I'm picturing a gruff 30-something getting as frustrated as you were.

[chainedbarista]

HM: "Oh, then it's probably fine. Can I talk to him?"

Me: "I don't know but...wait, it looks like he just hung up. Shall I transfer you?"
HM: "Yes!!!"
As it turned out, her son was on the phone ordering a pizza.

Later, he wasn't answering his phone.

HM: "Why doesn't he answer! It just rings and rings! Where is he???"
Eventually, he did pick up the phone. He had been in the bathroom.

wow...was the imbilical cord cut or not? i'm betting his girlfriend was getting annoyed with all the delays.

SC: "Do you have any rooms on the quiet side?"
Me: "I'm sorry, but everything I have left is on the highway side."
SC: "I see...you have nothing on the quiet side?"
Me: "Sorry, those are all full. I have these rooms left." *shows locations on hotel map*
SC: "Hmmm....nothing at all on the quiet side?"
Me: "Everything on that side is full, sir."

hmm, let me think *checks register* sir, it looks like all those rooms are...
FULL
get a damned hearing aid.

[bhskittykatt]

Re: Helicopter Mom

How old was the son? I'm picturing a gruff 30-something getting as frustrated as you were.

Yeah, he was late 20's/early 30's. Not bad looking, either. I never spoke with him after check-in (probably 'cause he was too busy on the phone with Mommy).

[JustaCashier]

Me: "Sir, could you please step aside out of the doorway? You're setting off the bell."
SC: "Oh, I know. I was just playing with it!"

I kind of feel sorry for this guy.

I mean, if he's really old, his own ding-a-ling may no longer give him pleasure when he plays with it!


Mike

[Wenchie]

I love the Out of Order sign... I would laugh so much if I read that at a hotel.

As for the guy with the Helicopter Mom... I feel really bad for him. No one deserves putting up with that... sounds like he was trying to get away from her for a night and she wouldn't let him!

[morgana]

HM would probably die if sonny left for a night without telling her where he was going to be.

'Bout time he did, methinks.

[MaseMan]

Yeah, that mom definitely had issues. I would have thought her son would have just taken his phone off the hook at some point. Of course then she probably would have called the police after not being able to get through and reporting that he was abducted or something.

[Jay 2K Winger]

The bell-ringer phenomenon is exactly why we won't install a bell at the food court in the wholesale club.

At least once a year, I'll get someone who'll say we should have one, so they can call the food court attendant (who could be busy cleaning/cooking/stocking the freezer in the back of the food prep area). And every time we'll shoot down the idea by saying, "And for every sane person who dings it once or twice, we'll have ten idiots who'll keep banging it until the food court person snaps, and eighty bajillion kids who'll ding it just to hear it go 'ding.'"