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A Flock of Morons

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  • A Flock of Morons

    Short takes from Thursday when the suddenly cold weather had frozen up some brains.

    Open the Office

    At about 10:30 in the morning, I receive a phone call from our phone center. Customer is out in the parking lot, and he wants to know why we are not open!

    Huh? We are open.

    Phone center operator is laughing. That's what she kept telling him, but he says that the office is dark and locked. She finally got him to describe the businesses on either side, and that's when I realize that he as at a location that closed almost a year ago. The fact that there is no longer anything (no signs, no furnishings, FOR RENT sign in the window) to identify it as a DMV location didn't faze him. Gol' durn ya! It was here for years, and it will be here until the end of time!

    That's Not What They Told Me

    Clerk is trying to explain to a woman that her license is suspended until she takes care of a variety of unpaid tickets and reinstatements. Customer keeps exclaiming, "That's not what they told me!"

    Finally, the clerk asks, "Who is 'they'?"

    The phone center. Sigh. The biggest problem that we have with our own phone center is that many of them have never worked in a branch, and their understanding of procedure can be limited. "Okay, ma'am. What did they tell you that you needed to do?"

    "Well, I was on hold for over 40 minutes, so I hung up."

    Okay. "So when you say that this is not what they told you, you mean no one told you anything?"

    Yup.

    Any Release of Lien Will Do

    Man comes in with a title to put in his name. He has a release of lien from National City Bank. Problem is the lien on the title is for U of M Credit Union. No that does not clear this. No, National City Bank and U of M CU are not the same entity. The car is from his father, so he calls him. They are insisting that the filing date of 2003 (the date the lien was placed) is the day daddy paid off the loan, so take this lien off.

    "Sir, when you paid off the car, how did you pay off the car. Did you pay it off by taking out a loan from the credit union?"

    "Well, yes, but -- oh." Pause. "Put my son back on the phone."

    Buh-bye! We'll see you later, and I hope you have the correct lien release then.
    To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
    To pursue it with forks and hope;
    To threaten its life with a railway share;
    To charm it with forks and hope!

  • #2
    People always complain about the DMV, but I think that a lot of the general population is dimwitted. I have never had a DMV issue, and Illinois is notorious.
    There Can Be Only One

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    • #3
      The title of this thread gave me an idea, and out of boredom came up with this list while looking up collective nouns:

      aerie of assholes
      bevy of buffoons
      company of c*ntwaffles
      dole of dunces
      entourage of entitlement-whores
      flock of f*ckwits
      gaggle of goons
      herd of hicks
      intrusion of idiots
      jam of jerks
      knot of kooks
      litter of lunatics
      muster of morons
      nye of nincompoops
      ostentation of oddities
      paddling of perverts
      quantity of quacks
      rookery of ruffians
      siege of scumbags
      troupe of twits
      untion of unintelligible
      vagary of villains
      wake of weirdos
      x - got nothing.
      yearning of yobs
      z - got nothing.

      I couldn't think of anything for X and Z, and to be honest I started running out of words for some of the other letters too. ^_^ and back to lurking for me, lol.

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      • #4
        I also hate going to the DMV (sorry), but only because it's a time-waster. Once I get to the front, I'm usually out within 5 minutes. It's getting to a clerk that's the time-waster.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          z=zoo of zombies.

          Mike
          Meow.........

          Comment


          • #6
            I went to the DMV yesterday (had an appointment woohoo) for my registration. It had been expired for 6 months, but I paid for it 5 months ago, and could not verify my insurance for anything. It was making me crazy! The wonderful woman at the DMV found the issue in 2 seconds and we have our sticker! Hooray for the DMV (despite the brain numbing fees) and boo hiss to the insurance agent who cannot copy a VIN correctly.

            By the way, tell those losers at your job my late fee was $27, so they should shut the heck up! I'd love to pay what your SCs pay!
            "You mean you don’t have the one piece of information you actually need? Well, stick your grubby paws in the crayon box, yank one out and colour me Fucking Shocked Fuchsia." - Gravekeeper

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            • #7
              A lot of DMV offices were closed in California. A lot of employment offices were too. They've moved a lot of government stuff online, but getting the info you need to take care of stuff online usually still requires a person to mail something to you. Oh, well.
              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
              HR believes the first person in the door
              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
              Document everything
              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Megg View Post
                I went to the DMV yesterday (had an appointment woohoo) for my registration. It had been expired for 6 months, but I paid for it 5 months ago, and could not verify my insurance for anything. It was making me crazy! The wonderful woman at the DMV found the issue in 2 seconds and we have our sticker! Hooray for the DMV (despite the brain numbing fees) and boo hiss to the insurance agent who cannot copy a VIN correctly.

                By the way, tell those losers at your job my late fee was $27, so they should shut the heck up! I'd love to pay what your SCs pay!
                I see more typos for VINs on insurance than anything else. Not that we are immune to typos, but our computers are programmed to at least recognize if the VIN is inconsistent with the make and model, and if it is not an original, we also know that the computer will display the previous owner's info, so that's a flag also.
                To seek it with thimbles, to seek it with care;
                To pursue it with forks and hope;
                To threaten its life with a railway share;
                To charm it with forks and hope!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth wagegoth View Post
                  A lot of DMV offices were closed in California. A lot of employment offices were too. They've moved a lot of government stuff online, but getting the info you need to take care of stuff online usually still requires a person to mail something to you. Oh, well.
                  Be glad you're not trying to replace a lost Disabled Parking Placard. They have a form online that you fill in, then print out and mail in. (Yes - not submitted online. It needs a signature.) They tell you that you should get your replacement about 2 weeks after you send it in.

                  After four weeks, my wife called to find out where her's is. They didn't have a record of receiving it, and said that probably is not because it wasn't received. It was probably because they had a six-month backlog of mailed in forms to open, and probably hadn't gotten to it yet. They recommended she go to a local office. (She did so, and was out in 20 minutes with her replacement placard.)

                  DMV's are a necessary evil, it would be nice if most of them would move their bureaucracies into the 21st century.
                  I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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                  • #10
                    My motor tax is out as of the 1st. I have about 2 weeks grace to get it sorted, but with the Christmas run up, the police will be out looking for these things. I will be going to our local motor tax office on Wednesday. It will take me, oh I dunno, maybe an hour waiting for a 5 minute job. I am going to get there early and see if I can beat the queue. Otherwise, well, what a waste of a day.

                    C.
                    Nothing in this world will ever be truly idiot-proof as long as they keep making more effective idiots... -EricKei

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                    • #11
                      Ow. All 3 of those made my brain hurt. Especially the guy standing outside the empty office. HOW could he not see that the place was no longer in use? Where did he think you were--in the basement??
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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