Me or the waiter

[South Texan]

A side note here: telling the server verbally that they did a great job and then being cheap with the tip? Not cool. In the industry, we refer to that as a "verbal tip." Because we've learned that chances are people who go on and on about it verbally ain't leaving you much financially. And while we all enjoy hearing that we rock, we MUCH prefer the money, to be honest.

Man, did that burn me when I was waiting tables. I would get some joker who would come over to me to shake my hand and tell me what a great evening it had been and how much he and his wife/date had enjoyed my service. Then he would slip two dollars into my palm on a fifty dollar tab.

I rarely was able to return his smile.

[Jester]

I 've always been able to return their smile.

Partly because I was enjoying the thought of how pleasurable it would be to disembowel them with a butter knife.

Amazing the things you must do to remain professional.

[friendofjimmyk]

Sounds like he wanted to play a bit of a mean joke on the waiter, by making him think he'd been stiffed. There is no secret code about leaving small bills and pennies on the table.

And I can't believe the waiter corrected you on using utensils and whatnot. I think had that been me, I would have been sorely temped to use the fork on his butt when he turned around. Correcting someone's manners is considered TERRIBLY bad manners.

I agree - the friend was kind of a dick at times and I too believe he wanted the waiter to think he got stiffed - but I didn't argue with him - I was too full from the food and wine. The waiter was all nice about everything though too - even when he thought he only got $1.01 as a tip. To me, that's the important part - he never once lost the smile on his face. He had a few moments where he looked weirded out - but was still smiling.

Then the whole manners thing - on top of him correcting me - I still remember the smug, swarmy look on his face!

A side note here: telling the server verbally that they did a great job and then being cheap with the tip? Not cool. In the industry, we refer to that as a "verbal tip." Because we've learned that chances are people who go on and on about it verbally ain't leaving you much financially. And while we all enjoy hearing that we rock, we MUCH prefer the money, to be honest.

Ahh, the verbal tip. Lovely little item. As soon as the raving starts, one can almost guarantee a minimal tip. Not always, but most of the time.

Partly because I was enjoying the thought of how pleasurable it would be to disembowel them with a butter knife.

Amazing the things you must do to remain professional.

Been there, done that! Amazing the torture by crumber or butter knife that your mind can imagine during times of high stress!

After running me ragged, sending me to get something every single time I get to the table, speaking to me poorly - I can smile and say "No, of course I don't mind getting you another steak knife!" Smiling all while knowing where I'd like to stick that knife!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I tend to tip a couple of pounds, which may not seem like a lot but I don't have a lot of cash to throw around so to me, that's a lot. That's also what I will add to the plate if out with mates; last time, there was a veritable shower of gold as everyone who was there (6, if you wanted to know) threw in 2 or 3 pound coins.

I once did tell a manager I was leaving cuz this snotty waitress was ignoring me in favour of a large party; he offered to comp my drinks if I stayed and gave me a nice waiter to serve me instead. I stayed, the waiter was very attentive and got tipped well, and I made sure I praised him to the skies as well as trashing the waitress who ignored me. I can only hope the large party stiffed her to put the icing on the cake of her getting a huge telling off from the manager for her rudeness.

[tollbaby]

the ex reminded me last night of our own "out of our element" dining experience I had won a gift certificate to a new Asian fusion place downtown.... we're more the Wendy's or Swiss Chalet type of people and rarely eat out at "real" restaurants. We invited a friend along with us, and although we immediately felt out of place when we walked in (it was a hip 20-something type of place where everybody was shiny and beautiful), our server was very welcoming and polite, and the food was fantastic! (and relatively cheap). I've recommended the place to all our out-of-town execs and contractors, and I've brought almost all my visiting friends there since

[Rapscallion]

I tend to tip a couple of pounds, which may not seem like a lot but I don't have a lot of cash to throw around so to me, that's a lot.

There's also the slight matter that the UK doesn't have as great a tipping culture as the UK. Our minimum wage applies to servers as well, and I seem to remember it starts at £5.15 - about ten dollars at current exchange rates. Cost of living is higher as well, though, so it's not all milk and honey...

Rapscallion

[RailroadMonster]

I'll tip the guy who delivers my pizza $3 if he's nice, even though I don't have to.

I always give my pizza guy a giant tip. I usually order from Dominoes and they seem to have very conscientious delivery men.

[Titi]

My first reaction to the OP was is the waiter stupid or something?

I've asked some friends who are bartenders their response and it's generally the same. If someone forgets their change you put it to the side incase they come back for it, if not then you just got an extra tip.

I guess he knew that he didn't deserve any tip for his bad service huh?

On a side note though, most places like that ask if you need any change to avoid getting the change and coming back to the table and the patrons have already left. I get asked that at Friendly's, Applebees, pretty much anywhere you pay the server and not a cashier. I've been told it saves time.

[Pinkie]

My hubby delivers pizzas for a living, 40-50+ hrs a week. It's a well known fact at his pizza joint, that if you stiff the driver, next time, you'll be the last one on the list to get your pizza, but if you tip good, you'll be the first and your pizza will still be hot. We live in a college town, and the cheapest students are the ones who use mommy and daddy's credit card and drive a new bmw. The owner of the pizza place keeps begging my hubby to take over as the manager there, but as manager, you can't get two guarenteed days off each week, and the pay would be less than he makes as a delivery driver. And they wonder why he just drives!

[DesignFox]

Ha. I noticed both Mongo and BookStoreExcapee mentioned the Manalapan Diner in NJ.

I went to that diner once and only once! What an awful diner. The place was empty when myself and a friend stopped by, and we got slow, inattentive service. Not to mention that the waitress didn't bring half of my friend's order. And neither of us ever got drink refills. Her tip reflected our displeasure.

I will never go there again...especially hearing that we weren't the only ones to get awful service!

If you're driving north on 9 may I suggest the Peter Pank Diner? Much better service there. It's much farther up from the Manalapan Diner... and of course there are a few others along 9 anyway (north and south), but I have yet to pop in to those...

As for the OP. Bravo. I think you handled that very nicely considering how rude your waiter was!

[Jester]

On a side note though, most places like that ask if you need any change to avoid getting the change and coming back to the table and the patrons have already left. I get asked that at Friendly's, Applebees, pretty much anywhere you pay the server and not a cashier. I've been told it saves time.

I hate that. I HATE HATE HATE that. For YEARS I was a server trainer for TGI Friday's, and I would rail about that to the servers. You do NOT say, "Do you need change?" You assume they do, you bring them their change, and you go about your business like a professional. Because if, for example, their bill is $32 and they put a $100 bill in the check presenter, OF COURSE they are going to need change. It is presumptuous of waiters to ask that, and it drove me insane as a trainer and supervisor, and it drives me insane as a server, bartender, and customer. I make it very simple. "I'll be right back with that." No muss, no fuss. If they don't want change, most often they will tell you that. And if they don't need change and don't tell you that, you have still conducted yourself professionally.

I have been in "casual" eating establishments and gotten servers who know how to do it right, and I have been in fine dining establishments and actually had servers say "Do you need change?" I about fell over. So to all the servers out there, please...don't do this. It reflects poorly on you, your professionalism, and your establishment.

[/rant]

[tollbaby]

Ugh. I was trained to always say, "I'll be right back with your change", and then that gives the customer an opening to to tell you, if they so CHOOSE, to keep the change (and if they don't, never EVER be rude to them).

I love the new system we have here in Canada (I don't know if this is available in the US). Most restaurants here offer payment by debit card (bank card, not a credit card that connects to your chequing account.... we don't have those here). When you're putting your transaction through, the machine asks if you want to leave a tip. If you say yes, some of them will ask if you prefer to use a percentage or enter a dollar amount. Since the server brings your bill, but anybody can cash you out, the person cashing you out enters the bill number and tips are automatically credited to the right server.

I'm not sure if they get them same day or if it's included on their cheques though (it would really suck if they were included on their cheques, I guess).

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Ha. I noticed both Mongo and BookStoreExcapee mentioned the Manalapan Diner in NJ.

I went to that diner once and only once! What an awful diner. The place was empty when myself and a friend stopped by, and we got slow, inattentive service. Not to mention that the waitress didn't bring half of my friend's order. And neither of us ever got drink refills. Her tip reflected our displeasure.

The question is when did you go there...before or after the remodeling they did in 2003? Before it, the service was ok...some bad but mostly good. After 2003 I couldn't tell you what it was like since I moved out of NJ (FREEEEEDOOOOOMMMM!!!!!) in October of that year.

M

[Becks]

One of the first things I learned when I first started waitressing was that a single penny left on a table can mean a lot.

Heads Up: Indicates the service was good and that the patron would like to have tipped you but could not afford it.

Tales Up: The service sucked and I wouldn't have left you a tip for anything.

I never knew that about meanings for head/tails. I knew about leaving a penny for a "tip" to let the waitperson know that they weren't meeting standards, but the heads up one? I learned something new today.

[South Texan]

I never knew that about meanings for head/tails. I knew about leaving a penny for a "tip" to let the waitperson know that they weren't meeting standards, but the heads up one? I learned something new today.

When I was waiting tables, a penny left as a tip was a penny tip. Period. The penny signified that the customer was very unhappy with the service and did not want the waiter to brush off the lack of a tip with the thought that perhaps the customer just forgot. This "heads up" aspect is, to me, something recently created to appease the insulted waiter and nullify the statement the customer made.

In my opinion, if a customer cannot afford a tip that reflects the customer's satisfaction with the service, then the customer should at least have the decency to explain that to the waiter and apologize for the low tip.