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Twas the night before christmas and all through the hotel.
Not a creature was stirring except for the partiers on 3.
The nooses were hung, in the GM's lair, in hopes that the lying sack of shit AGM would visit there.
Management were all snug in their beds.
While visions of happy guests danced in their heads.
And the GM while in her bed plotting the termination of the jacka$$ AGM.
Had full confidence in the night auditor.
While out in the parking lot arose such a clatter.
I sprang from behind the desk,
Away to window I went,
Grabbing the phone and hoping like heck nothing was amiss.
The streetlights on the fallen snow showed,
The chaos of a parking lot not plowed.
When out of the corner of my eye,
I saw a snowplow and a guest's crumpled car.
The jolly ol' driver had hit,
A guest's BMW 5 days old.
More rapid then eagles I called the cops,
To report the damage.
Now get your a$$ back here I shouted,
As the driver fled, yelling he did not do it.
Back to his garage he fled.
In hopes the cops could not find him.
As the snow got heavier,
The cops met me out front.
So back inside we went,
to call the guest and ruin his xmas.
And down the elevator,
Came such a clatter.
Of irate and angry guest.
Down the elevator they came.
He was dressed in his pajamas,
And he was pissed.
That the snowplow had hit his BMW.
He looked like he was going to snap.
His eyes twinkled with rage,
His cheeks were red,
And his mouth was one solid line.
He looked like he was going to kill someone.
The pen he clutched,
As he signed the report.
Threatening to sue the jolly ol' driver.
Made him madder as he wrote.
The snowplow driver,
Jolly and plump.
Was pulled from his bed,
And hauled off in cuffs.
He was indenial,
That he had hit,
The guest's BMW and done such damage.
He realized that he was fucked, when he saw the security tapes.
The cops left, the guest calmed down.
Back to bed the guest went, with dreams of revenge dancing in his head.
And back to work I went.
Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
Not a creature was stirring except for the partiers on 3.
The nooses were hung, in the GM's lair, in hopes that the lying sack of shit AGM would visit there.
Management were all snug in their beds.
While visions of happy guests danced in their heads.
And the GM while in her bed plotting the termination of the jacka$$ AGM.
Had full confidence in the night auditor.
While out in the parking lot arose such a clatter.
I sprang from behind the desk,
Away to window I went,
Grabbing the phone and hoping like heck nothing was amiss.
The streetlights on the fallen snow showed,
The chaos of a parking lot not plowed.
When out of the corner of my eye,
I saw a snowplow and a guest's crumpled car.
The jolly ol' driver had hit,
A guest's BMW 5 days old.
More rapid then eagles I called the cops,
To report the damage.
Now get your a$$ back here I shouted,
As the driver fled, yelling he did not do it.
Back to his garage he fled.
In hopes the cops could not find him.
As the snow got heavier,
The cops met me out front.
So back inside we went,
to call the guest and ruin his xmas.
And down the elevator,
Came such a clatter.
Of irate and angry guest.
Down the elevator they came.
He was dressed in his pajamas,
And he was pissed.
That the snowplow had hit his BMW.
He looked like he was going to snap.
His eyes twinkled with rage,
His cheeks were red,
And his mouth was one solid line.
He looked like he was going to kill someone.
The pen he clutched,
As he signed the report.
Threatening to sue the jolly ol' driver.
Made him madder as he wrote.
The snowplow driver,
Jolly and plump.
Was pulled from his bed,
And hauled off in cuffs.
He was indenial,
That he had hit,
The guest's BMW and done such damage.
He realized that he was fucked, when he saw the security tapes.
The cops left, the guest calmed down.
Back to bed the guest went, with dreams of revenge dancing in his head.
And back to work I went.
Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
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