Big Ol' Pile of Email Cr*p

[BookBint]

Today is my first day back in the office, and therefore cause for much sadness and pulling of hair. We have a new server that doesn't work properly, the printers are down, the heating is irratic, and people I don't like keep talking to me.

This aside, an author made the start of my day especially irritating. Like most office types, when I go away on holiday I set up my email to 'Out of Office', ie if someone emails me they get an automated response along the lines of 'I'm not in the office until X. This message is to confirm receipt of your email and I will reply as soon as I am back at work' etc etc. Therefore, I was very surprised to see 16 emails all from the same author stacked up my inbox.

Email 1
General query about scheduling.

Email 2/3/4
Questions about indexing.

Email 5
More questions, and a 'I would appreciate a response as I am on a deadline at work'.

Email 6/7
More queries and the entire manuscript (which I shall dump because we've already edited it, as he damn well knows.)

Email 8
He gets annoyed. 'Please ring if you are unable to email me, as I really need to clarify some points. It is very important.' Keep in mind he sent this on CHRISTMAS EVE. Most offices are shut then, and I had been on holiday for a week. Plus, he must have already got 7 'Out of Office' messages back from my PC. Besides, his questions were in no way important.

Email 9/10/11
Sent from three different email addresses, including his wife's, presumably to see if I would take the bait. Sent on CHRISTMAS DAY. I was drunk while he wrote these...

Email 12
Asks for my home telephone number as my work phone doesn't appear to be working. Oh for god's sake.

Email 13/14/15
All requests for me to get back to him as soon as possible. All sent before the New Year.

Email 16
Just the words 'ring me'.

I did, god help me. I explained the 'Out of Office' concept. He said he knew what it was, he used it at work himself. He just assumed I would keep in touch over Christmas. I asked whether he checked his work email during the holiday. 'No, of course not!' Of course. You douche.

I AM NOT PAID ENOUGH TO HOLD YOUR HAND DURING THE FESTIVE PERIOD!!!!

Especially not on a book which isn't due to be printed for a year.

I need a drink.

[Cat]

Sounds like the idiots I work with, only they are actually trained not to read emails...only the subject line and maybe the first line in the email. They also do not grasp the concept the reply button (do not send me the email, send to the group, for if I'm out, your eff'd)

[Shalom]

Sounds like the idiots I work with, only they are actually trained not to read emails...only the subject line and maybe the first line in the email.

Say what?

Grrr. I hate this. How many times I've sent an email to someone, then it's bloody fscking obvious from their reply that they didn't actually read more than the first paragraph, because their questions were answered in my own original email and if they'd bothered to fracking read the damn thing they'd have the answers to their questions.

Never knew it was deliberate though, just stupidity on the part of the readers. I figured they were using Outhouse Express or some similar mail client that has a preview screen, and they were only looking at that screen rather than actually pulling up the whole email. I thought they were just too damn dumb to know that there was more to it than that first screen. That pisses me off quite enough; if I'd realised that they were doing it on purpose I'd have really blown a gasket.

WTF, does everybody today have mega-short attention spans, or is it just part of the increasing laziness of the human species? Do people just look at a screen of text (properly formatted, with paragraph breaks at appropriate places) and go "tl;dr"? Is this disability or just don't-give-a-shittiveness?

Grrr. I better STFU before I get too far into Fratching territory.

[MoonCat]

Wow, what an idiot. And I mean that in the nastiest possible way.

He sends an email on Christmas Eve? And on Christmas DAY? And expects a response?? And then he wants your home phone number....gahhhh. The mind boggles.

I will add that I've had customers swear up and down that they never got my out-of-office message, which may just be possible as I don't get it myself when I send email from my home to my work (I like to email myself reminders about things I have to get done). But even so, he should have had the brains to realize that you weren't there on Christmas!

[Raveni]

Say what?

Grrr. I hate this. How many times I've sent an email to someone, then it's bloody fscking obvious from their reply that they didn't actually read more than the first paragraph, because their questions were answered in my own original email and if they'd bothered to fracking read the damn thing they'd have the answers to their questions.

Do you figure they were using Outhouse Express or some similar mail client that has a preview screen?

Just kidding. Let me get that.

I will add that I've had customers swear up and down that they never got my out-of-office message, which may just be possible as I don't get it myself when I send email from my home to my work (I like to email myself reminders about things I have to get done). But even so, he should have had the brains to realize that you weren't there on Christmas!

I actually respond to my emails while I'm on vacation, because they go straight to my phone. What I don't respond to are my voicemails at my on-site offices. Thus, I came back from Christmas break to TWENTY voicemails from people inane enough to sit through the whole message about how we were closed and what number to call if you actually need help sometime this year. Nope, increasingly upset messages about silly stuff.

[Daemonmonkey]

I had my 250+ users quite well educated, that is "If you don't read the e-mails I send to you and then complain about an issue covered in my e-mails, you have ONE strike, then the Big Boss gets an e-mail about you not reading important stuff...".

I escalated to my boss two-three times, all during my first months at $site... I was there for 9 years ...

[MadMike]

Grrr. I hate this. How many times I've sent an email to someone, then it's bloody fscking obvious from their reply that they didn't actually read more than the first paragraph, because their questions were answered in my own original email and if they'd bothered to fracking read the damn thing they'd have the answers to their questions.

I had one that didn't read my emails at all. This was an older lady, who had probably been with the company since the beginning, and finally retired a year or two ago, who I had to work with a time or two. She was nice enough, but she was stuck in the old ways, some of which were before I even started there, and were the exact opposite of how I was told to do things.

One day I had finished a project that she was in charge of, and sent her an email letting her know it was finished. A few hours later, she called me for a status update on the project that I had finished. I told her that I had finished it hours ago, and asked if she had not received my email.

She told me, "Oh, I don't have time to read my emails!"

But you have time to make a bunch of phone calls about things I've already answered.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Email 9/10/11
Sent from three different email addresses, including his wife's, presumably to see if I would take the bait. Sent on CHRISTMAS DAY. I was drunk while he wrote these...

...maybe he just liked to see your Out Of Office e-mail? Don't know how the program you are using works, but the one I have here in the ofrifice sends only one OoO e-mail per address.

Email 12
Asks for my home telephone number as my work phone doesn't appear to be working. Oh for god's sake.

That's a genius pick-up line, though. Not.

I explained the 'Out of Office' concept. He said he knew what it was, he used it at work himself.

Ah, so he is not ignorant (that can have a non-negative side - it can indicate someone that just didn't know), but straightforward STUPID?

He just assumed I would keep in touch over Christmas.

...is he paying your company for editing/publishing or for foster parenting? I start having some doubts here.

[EricKei]

My boss does something like this -- if "he can't be bothered" to read the whole email (note: when he sends an email, we had BETTER read it all and respond to every query, in detail), he'll respond only to one question out of half a dozen, then complains when I re-send the other questions, all the while he's getting annoyed at me not understanding what he wants (when he refuses to clarify).... Also, he prefers to ignore his emails completely until the end of the day (understandable, he IS legitimately overwhelmed with work this time of year), but still...

Special bonus: He lives by the voicemail. So much so that, when we offer to send people to VM, it's NOT a means of blowing them off; it's actually the fastest way to reach him short of calling his cell -- if we give him a paper message, he will complain (they get lost easily, why should he actually pay attention to bits of paper on his desk or in his inbox, etc) and ask why we didn't just send them to VM...If I get someone who REFUSES to take VM, I just write down their message and leave a VM for him with the contents. Those, he checks frequently...>_<

[Sapphire Silk]

We use both VM and email at the hospice where I work part time. I loathe the VM system, and the way no one uses it appropriately.