Five Words Should Be Pretty Easy, No?

[Jester]

I've been waiting on this story until I had some more from the bar, but sadly, I keep forgetting the amusing stuff worth putting up here, and keep forgetting to jot it down in a note. So just the one story, I'm afraid.

The Tuesday of our bar's Christmas party, we were closing the bar early so that the whole staff could go, as we do every year. Surprisingly, we got no suckasses who bitched about this.

However, right near the end of my shift (and since we were closing early, right near close), an older couple comes in. Tosses a Buy One Get One Free drink coupon on the bar and asks for a pina colada.

JESTER: "Do you mean two pina coladas, or do you want a different drink for your second drink?" (We allow this.)
OLDER MAN: "No, we're just going to share the pina colada."
JESTER: "Okay, so you're not using the coupon?"
OLDER MAN: "No, we're using it."

Now I am confused, as I can't figure out whether the dude wants one drink at half price, or just a free drink....neither of which is an option with our Buy One Get One Free drink coupon.

JESTER: "Um, sir? This is a Buy One Get One Free coupon. It means you have to buy a drink to get a drink free." I can't believe I have to spell this out for the guy.
OLDER MAN: (haughtily) "Well, we haven't a problem with it the last three times we've been here this week!"
JESTER: "I'm sorry sir. I can sell you a drink, but I can't apply this coupon to just one drink."
OLDER MAN: "Whatever!"

And he and his wife leave in a huff.

Now, I know I wasn't an English major, but I have a pretty good command of the English language, and when something says "buy one get one free," it means you have to BUY one in order to get another one free. It doesn't mean "buy a drink for half price if you prefer," nor does it ever, ever, EVER mean "come in for a free drink and buy nothing." And the coupon's five biggest words are "BUY ONE GET ONE FREE." It is not one of those that has "free drink" in huge letters and "if you buy another of equal or lesser price" in smaller print. It is not deceptive. It is clear and concise. "BUY ONE GET ONE FREE." Period.

As for the guy saying he hadn't had a problem doing that very thing three times prior? One word: bullshit. That is unadulterated, unmitigated, unquestionable BULLSHIT. Because any veteran bartender there would have said pretty much what I said. And any of the newer quarterbacks, if they hadn't said what I said, would have the very least said that they needed to check with management....which would have said pretty much what I said. Hell, management would have definitely had a bit of an issue with any bartender that would have accepted this particular transaction.

My GM witnessed this whole exchange, and just shook his head, wondering about the utter stupidity of people.

[EvilEmpryss]

Oh, well, see, the lady with him was a prostitute, and since he was buying one from her, he figured he could one from you for free. 'Cuz he had a coupon, see? CS logic. Don't try to comprehend it. I'm certain the end of days will be heralded by rational people finding logic in CS arguments.

And what classless idiot takes a woman to a bar to get a shared drink with a coupon???

[Jester]

Okay, to be fair (which is often against my better judgment), this was an older couple, clearly married (or longtime couple), clearly upper class or upper middle class, clearly educated. These were not bums. You don't have to be a bum or a skank to use coupons.

As for shared drinks, people share drinks all the time. Not everyone drinks like me, and sometimes people just want a nip. Also, I have noticed from my own parents that as people get older, their appetite often decreases. What would be a snack for me would be a full meal for my parents, split between them. Admittedly, my other always ate like a bird, but my stepfather used to have a much larger appetite.

So, what kind of person takes a woman to a bar for a shared drink? All kinds. What kind tries to get a free drink for a BOGO coupon? Actually, you had it right the first time: a classless idiot.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Hmrm... BUY one get one free? BUY? Can I only have the free one?
No, it doesn't make sense to me either.

[Mr Hero]

And just when I thought even the suckiest and stupidest of SC's understood "Buy One Get One Free" we run into SC's so stupid to not even get that concept.

[Jester]

Oh, they get the concept. The concept of a free one. Apparently it's just the buy one part of the concept that they seem to have trouble with.

That, or as I suspect more likely, dude was just a shitball who thought he could outsmart or outbully a lowly bartender into doing what he wanted.

He picked the wrong fucking bartender.

[Marmalady]

OK, next time I see an ad that says something like "Save £100 on this laptop!" I'm going to go into that store and say that as I don't want the laptop I'll just take the £100.

If they say NO I'll claim false advertising, bait and switch etc etc.

[ralerin]

So did they leave the coupon so you could use it on someone more deserving?

[MoonCat]

So did they leave the coupon so you could use it on someone more deserving?

Me! Me!

[Spork4pedro]

In my experience (which is sadly more years than I like to admit) customers upon receiving a BOGO (or any similar kind) coupon look at said coupon and read "GET ONE FREE!!" only. To them the "BUY ONE" stipulation is written in white ink or maybe "BUY ONE" is now a form of color blindness (like red/green?)

btw...I'm jealous that you guys are able to do coupons like that for alcohol. Here in Cali it is illegal to give any away for free (including as a BOGO). The closest I've done was the Buy one get one for a nickel when I worked BevMo.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Oh, they get the concept. The concept of a free one. Apparently it's just the buy one part of the concept that they seem to have trouble with.
That, or as I suspect more likely, dude was just a shitball who thought he could outsmart or outbully a lowly bartender into doing what he wanted.
He picked the wrong fucking bartender.

I'd say that ANY bartender would be wrong, in that case. Unless the bartender is a drooling, illiterate, unexperienced idiot who is so dumb that he can't even ask his coordinators/more experienced colleagues.

OK, next time I see an ad that says something like "Save £100 on this laptop!" I'm going to go into that store and say that as I don't want the laptop I'll just take the £100.
If they say NO I'll claim false advertising, bait and switch etc etc.

YES!
There was a "Save £300" on one last week, in Tesco... hmm... I should have tried it.

So did they leave the coupon so you could use it on someone more deserving?

/traveling there

In my experience (which is sadly more years than I like to admit) customers upon receiving a BOGO (or any similar kind) coupon look at said coupon and read "GET ONE FREE!!" only. To them the "BUY ONE" stipulation is written in white ink or maybe "BUY ONE" is now a form of color blindness (like red/green?)

I think that when SCs see the word FREE its awesomeness blinds any other word on the coupon.

[Jester]

No, I didn't save the coupon. Hell, maybe that coupon was cursed? I couldn't take chances. We destroyed it in the light of the moon at an ceremony involving swizzle sticks, frosted beer mugs, and a silver corkscrew. (Actually, I just pitched it in the trash and finished closing up.)

btw...I'm jealous that you guys are able to do coupons like that for alcohol. Here in Cali it is illegal to give any away for free (including as a BOGO).

Hey, there are some cool things about living in Florida....especially if you happen to be in Key West!

I'd say that ANY bartender would be wrong, in that case. Unless the bartender is a drooling, illiterate, unexperienced idiot who is so dumb that he can't even ask his coordinators/more experienced colleagues.

And I'd counter that we have those types working in this town, actually. Or those who are very green who can be bullied. Or those that just don't care and will do it just to get rid of the bastard. Etc., etc.

traveling there

You're coming here? Cool! When?

[PepperElf]

simple.

what the coupon reads: buy one get one free
what the SC reads: blargle blargle blargle blargle free