RING RING! (x 432,954,943)

[BookBint]

Uberboss is off work today having a wisdom tooth removed. I suspect he pickled it with festive liquor. That or it just wanted some fresh air away from his 3 pack Marlboro habit and is making a bid for freedom. Anyway, the important point is that he is not in the office and will not be in said office ALL DAY.

This concept was clearly a foreign one to Idiot Author.

9.15am
Uberboss' phone rings. Usually I don't answer his phone because to be frank I have better things to do than hold his authors' hands. I have enough of my own to lead gently through the fragrant garden of publishing. However, the phone rang over 30 times and eventually I go round and answer it.

BB: Uberboss' phone.
IA: Is Uberboss in?
BB: No as should have been obvious from the five minutes you let the phone ring without Uberboss picking up, you monstrous imbecile
IA: When will he be in?
BB: Tomorrow. He is out all day.
IA: Ok. Bye!

11.00am
RING RING!!!!! (x at least 25 before my will cracked and I answered. )
BB: Uberboss' phone.
IA: Is Uberboss in?
BB: No... he is out all day. We spoke earlier.
IA: Oh yes, I just thought he might be in.
BB: No...
IA: Ok, bye!

12.20pm
RING RING!!!!!
BB: Uberboss is not in! (I recognised the caller ID and wanted to skip the pleasantries.)
IA: When will he be back?
BB: Tomorrow!!!!
IA: Oh ok.

Ten minutes ago
RING RING!!!!!
IA: Is Uberboss...
BB: Sir, Uberboss will not be in all day. He is having a wisdom tooth out. He is NOT COMING IN. I would appreciate it if you would stop calling as answering his phone requires me to stop work, but if I let it ring 30 times it disturbs my colleagues.
IA: But...
BB: Sir, there is no point ringing again today. He will be in tomorrow.

There are now bets being placed as to when he'll ring again. Uberboss needs to stop contracting books by mentals. Sigh.

[Sapphire Silk]

Definately fits Einstein's definition of insanity . . .

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

I keep not getting why people who are clearly told that someone won't be available until a certain time keep trying to call, as if the person called would be lured back to work by the cry of their poor, lonely desk phone (mine has the old Batman TV series jingle as a ring, though).

[PepperElf]

i'd suggest unplugging the phone or turning the ringer off.


or a voice mail system where you can put in an "out of office" message.

[BookBint]

Update:

He rang again. I have taken the phone off the hook. DENIED!!!

[PepperElf]

what an idiot.
are you going to warn the boss that the idiot called *back* 4 times?

[Stormraven]

I expect they keep trying because they don't believe the speaker, for whatever reason. They view claims that 'boss is out of the office' with the same eye as they would 'boss is in a meeting' - as a gatekeeper's trick. Of course, the fact that 99% of the time, it's absolutely true means nothing to them.

[zombiequeen]

"But...I NEED to speak to UberBoss! COME-onnnnnn I NEEEEEEED to speak to bossyboss!"

"And I NEED you to STOP CALLING!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And exactly what good does this author think talking to uberboss will be?

For crying out loud, he's whacked out on wowie sauce. (Uberboss I mean. Although author could be too) He'll be too out of it to make much sense.

[Barefootgirl]

Uberboss needs to stop contracting books by mentals. Sigh.

From what i've seen of the publishing industry, that would mean that nothing new would ever get published. All authors are bonkers

[MoonCat]

Is that guy with the book about the Boring War...?

Sorry, I meant the Boer War.

[Red_Dazes]

I keep not getting why people who are clearly told that someone won't be available until a certain time keep trying to call, as if the person called would be lured back to work by the cry of their poor, lonely desk phone (mine has the old Batman TV series jingle as a ring, though).

first... because the world DOES revolve around them, so obviously as soon as they are in dire need of assistance the Boss man must stop ALL he is doing and rush to their aid...[/sarcasm]

Second....You desk phone is so full of win I could just glomp you!

All authors are bonkers

HEY! I resemble that remark!

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

first... because the world DOES revolve around them, so obviously as soon as they are in dire need of assistance the Boss man must stop ALL he is doing and rush to their aid...[/sarcasm]

Ah right, sorry, I forgot.

Second....You desk phone is so full of win I could just glomp you!

I don't know who installed it, but sure I picked it and I am NOT going to change it!

[EricKei]

what an idiot.
are you going to warn the boss that the idiot called *back* 4 times?

Yes, please do. Be sure to mention that you told this lump that Boss would be out all day, *every single time*

[Kristev]

Barefootgirl, I'm not bonkers. I'm just a failure.