Uhm...okay.

[Rapscallion]

After a bit, I told them it's just a squirrel. He's tamed, he likes to run up on people.

Better: "It's not just a squirrel - it's my familiar!"

Rapscallion

[Barefootgirl]

After a bit, I told them it's just a squirrel. He's tamed, he likes to run up on people.

It would have been even funnier if you'd pretended to freak out and screamed, "OMG, a possessed squirrel !"

[Bella_Vixen]

I had a pamphlet pusher come in one Sunday morning and actually PRAY for me.

What amazes me is when I tell them that I am a non-practicing Catholic, they mostly leave me alone. I don't know whether to feel offended or not.

[AmericanZero8503]

I tell people that I'm jewish, that usually gets them off my back. Because not to many hicks around here have met a jew. I'm not really jewish but it shuts them up.

One lady (she was mental I think) told me I'd burn in hell for my people killing the lord. I told her I can't burn in a place that I don't believe in.

Another lady jumped my shit about saying Happy Holidays (god, I LOVE living a red state). I told her that I can't think about Christmas when I have to work through Hanukkah. She got red faced and walked off.

[AmericanZero8503]

On another note:

"over here in England (note i didn't say UK) various christian denominations get along very well and regularly share events and services."- Legal Eagle

Wow, once again if I could get a good job in England I'd be there. Isn't sad that in some parts of the US, people of different races still attend seperate services? Or that in some sects women aren't allowed to preach? Or that gay people are not allowed to worship because they're banned by the church?

It really is a shame, what do they think the higher power would have to say about that?

[Rapscallion]

I think over here is more a case of dwindling audiences of the once-major faiths. The christian denominations aren't nearly as major a force as they used to be or they are in the US.

Anyone got any figures?

Rapscallion

[Imogene]

I live in the Bible belt, so I am very used to this. (My county holds record for # of churches per square mile in the world, supposedly.)

Are you in Texas? I swear, when I went down to visit my dad and a few friends in Texas, and we went driving around, there was a church on every street corner, at least.

Okay, on topic, this did NOT hapen to me, nor was I there to witness this.

This story involves yet another Chesterfield coworker I've never introduced. I'll call her Starbucks, as that's where she works now that our store is closed.

Starbucks is a very kind, somewhat talkative girl, a lot short, heightwise, but she makes up for it in spunk. Anyway, one fine Christmas season (more than likely, the one just last year) Starbucks is working register, helping customers. Some guy, at random, walked right up to her, entirely bypassing the line, to give her a candy cane attached to a miniature Bible. And leaves, if I remember the story correctly. Starbucks looks at the Bible a moment, peels away the tape holding the candy cane to it, sets the Bible atop our soda fridge, and crunches on the candy.

A week later, I finally run into a coworjer who was there with her when it happened, as I'd been asking everyone I worked with about the Bible atop the fridge, and no one knows why. Kick ass AM tells me the story, and I just started rolling.

[Rine]

Are you in Texas? I swear, when I went down to visit my dad and a few friends in Texas, and we went driving around, there was a church on every street corner, at least.

Nope, I live in NW Florida. Church on every corner, churches right next door to each other, churches in backyards, in homes...churches, churches, churches. It's like a competition here, to see who can build the biggest and most expensive church. But the number of churches went down due to hurricanes blowing them away.

[Seanette]

Yes, when people ask me that, I proudly say, "Catholic." Good god, I love watching some people's reactions to that. They look at me like I'm satan's spawn and I find it decidedly amusing. Doesn't take much for me, see?

I've had to deal with a lot of bashing because of my religion, both in school and now at my job. It's become easier for me if I find humor in it, you know?

Believe me, I can relate, being LDS .

[BrassCowboy]

In my part of Texas, the law states that you cant have a strip club or similar establishment within xxx amount of feet of a church. I guess the powers that be decided to build one on every block in order to get rid of that 'evil.'

Back on topic, I am Jewish and I have a mezuzah nailed to the front door. Now, if I was not happy with my religion, why would that be there? Exactly. Now back away before I release the hounds.

[Rine]

In my part of Texas, the law states that you cant have a strip club or similar establishment within xxx amount of feet of a church. I guess the powers that be decided to build one on every block in order to get rid of that 'evil.'

Similiar laws here. My county just went "wet" and began to allow alcohol sales for the first time since the 1910's. The law is that you can't have a place selling alcohol (like bars, package lounges, and private clubs) within 2500 feet from a school or church. So, it's like we are still dry because hardly anyone can find a place to build a bar that fits the law's requirements.

On topic, there's a lady that I've had to talk to twice before at work. She's really really strange. The first time, she told me that she had her throat cancer healed by one of those Christian healer type guys that hit people with bibles and say "be healed!" I think we talked for about five minutes, but it was really just me listening to her claim about her various healings and then she made me write down the radio station that the healer uses and insists that I listen.

A few months pass and then I see her again. She clearly doesn't remember me, because she launches into another one of those crazy healing stories. This time, it was her stomach cancer that was healed, along with ulcers healed. I give her my "I don't believe a darn word you are sayin'" look and she quickly backs off and leaves me be. Geez, what a strange customer.

[Yossarian]

My husband is athiest, but he claimed himself to be Jewish for nearly two years. He was also working in a bank, and realized that a fair number of his co-workers were making really anti-Semitic statements.

Now, several of our close friends are Jewish, so this was bothering him a lot. He could have just said "Hey, my friends are Jewish, so I don't appreiciate that", but no, my boy likes making a strong statement So one day when they said something (about how the Jews have all the money), he turned to them and said "You guys know I'm Jewish, right?" That pretty much shut them up for the rest of his time working there, and it was surprisingly effective against the Christians coming in to hand out pamphlets.

Well, finally we moved and he got another job banking. He was going to drop the charade, when within the first week: "Goddam Jews are so stingy".

So, once again, "You guys know..."

The best part was when he told the woman from Pakistan about his Hindu wife...

[Broomjockey]

I always like to say that I'm the last practicing Druid It really freaks 'em out. I just have such a problem with strangers asking me that! I'm fine where I am, I don't need to be converted. Of course, sometimes I'll throw in different religions just for fun. I've been Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jesuit, Obeah and Vodou. However, I've found that Druid produces the most negative reaction. Strange eh?

I AM a druid (and I happen to like dragons. Unrelated notes, but important to the story, and not only was my mother completely unbelieving when I told her I had changed from the Anglican I had been raised as, she told me later she had told a Sister of something about it, and then related a comment from said Sister that left me gaping as it demonstrated a level of religious ignorance and bias I didn't expect to find in one actually devoted to her religion for the religion's sake. "Is that why he has all those dragon statues? I hope he knows those won't save his soul."
When my mom told me about that I was livid. I literally wanted to go find this woman and have a nice (re: angry) educational talk about respect for differing religions.

[Jester]

Regarding religious intolerance, the great comedian George Carlin had a great riff on how religions and religious intolerance have been the cause of the vast majority of wars and atrocities in the history of mankind. He then illustrated his point with the following "dialogue."

(Since I can't exactly do George justice, for the following few lines, imagine George is talking to someone else. In the original, he does both voices, but that is hard to do here. Also, when appropriate, making a heck of an impression of the sound of a gun firing....cause I can't really do that here either!)

GC: "Do you believe in God?"
OP: "No."
GC: BOOM!

[pause]

GC: "Do you believe in God?"
OP: "Yes."
GC: "Do you believe in MY God?"
OP: "No."
GC: BOOM!

George Carlin rocks!

[Candlelightview]

My usual response is "I already have a church, thanks." If that doesn't warrant them off, I go off about religious abuse and how it's so hard being pagan and no one can respect that I have a religion too. Gotten quite a few complaints :P