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It hath been a very sucktastic couple of days lately. Adding to which, anxiety over a number of personal issues DOES NOT HELP and makes me a VERY CRANKY HUNTER. 
Dear (not) Crapstomers,
Keep this shit up and I swear to whatever gods exist that I'm going to hire Jester and sic his brand of Key West Justice on your asses. It's been said before and it needs to be beaten into your fucking skulls with a tire iron until you finally get a clue: IF YOU ARE BUYING ALCOHOL/TOBACCO PRODUCTS OF ANY KIND BRING YOUR FUCKING GODDAMNED ID BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK UNDER A CERTAIN AGE YOU WILL GET CARDED. NO EXCEPTIONS. I'm not about to get my ass in a sling because you were too fucking stupid/lazy to bring your damned ID into the fucking store. (You would be STUNNED at how many people do this.) No, I don't give a fuck that you're 'local.' No, I don't give a fuck that you parked alllllllll the way out in the back of the parking lot and now have to walk alllllllll the way back to your car to fetch said ID. Tough shit. GET YOUR ID. Or go without your precious. Either way, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I hate you. HATE.
Crapstomers paying by card of any kind (credit, debit, EBT, etc.): No, I am not double-charging you because I'm a big meanie stinkyface who wants to bleed you dry. I'm a big meanie stinkyface who wants to shove that card down your throat every time you nitpick the price of the crap you bought. Believe me, if I could double-charge you, it would be for being a PAIN IN THE ASS. And there ain't enough money in your account to cover that charge.
Crapstomers using the automatic machines: GET A GODDAMNED CLUE YOU MORONS, that when the machine bleeps at you/temporarily freezes up for moving the bags prematurely, STOP TRYING TO MOVE THE GODDAMNED BAGS!! And don't whine to me about it either. Yes, it is a complete and total pain in the ass. Yes, I would alter the machine so that it doesn't do that shit; I'm just as sick of hearing those tones as you are, and I HAVE to listen to them all damned day. However, I unfortunately don't make the rules and that's something you'll have to take up with management. Good luck with that, because despite their kissing crapstomer ass, I seriously doubt they'll change that particular policy just for you special snowflakes.
AAAAARRGGGHHHHH.
I now understand why some people drink. Buzzed blissful oblivion makes the stupid go away...!
Dear (not) Crapstomers,
Keep this shit up and I swear to whatever gods exist that I'm going to hire Jester and sic his brand of Key West Justice on your asses. It's been said before and it needs to be beaten into your fucking skulls with a tire iron until you finally get a clue: IF YOU ARE BUYING ALCOHOL/TOBACCO PRODUCTS OF ANY KIND BRING YOUR FUCKING GODDAMNED ID BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK UNDER A CERTAIN AGE YOU WILL GET CARDED. NO EXCEPTIONS. I'm not about to get my ass in a sling because you were too fucking stupid/lazy to bring your damned ID into the fucking store. (You would be STUNNED at how many people do this.) No, I don't give a fuck that you're 'local.' No, I don't give a fuck that you parked alllllllll the way out in the back of the parking lot and now have to walk alllllllll the way back to your car to fetch said ID. Tough shit. GET YOUR ID. Or go without your precious. Either way, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I hate you. HATE.
Crapstomers paying by card of any kind (credit, debit, EBT, etc.): No, I am not double-charging you because I'm a big meanie stinkyface who wants to bleed you dry. I'm a big meanie stinkyface who wants to shove that card down your throat every time you nitpick the price of the crap you bought. Believe me, if I could double-charge you, it would be for being a PAIN IN THE ASS. And there ain't enough money in your account to cover that charge.
Crapstomers using the automatic machines: GET A GODDAMNED CLUE YOU MORONS, that when the machine bleeps at you/temporarily freezes up for moving the bags prematurely, STOP TRYING TO MOVE THE GODDAMNED BAGS!! And don't whine to me about it either. Yes, it is a complete and total pain in the ass. Yes, I would alter the machine so that it doesn't do that shit; I'm just as sick of hearing those tones as you are, and I HAVE to listen to them all damned day. However, I unfortunately don't make the rules and that's something you'll have to take up with management. Good luck with that, because despite their kissing crapstomer ass, I seriously doubt they'll change that particular policy just for you special snowflakes.
AAAAARRGGGHHHHH.
I now understand why some people drink. Buzzed blissful oblivion makes the stupid go away...!
:hugs and chocolate:
because I never get carded. Do I look that freakin' old???
And now she's all excited about being able to buy alcohol and getting carded 
She takes it religiously though. 
Happy birthday to your oldest. She can now be herself when she tries to buy a drink.
Not to mention finally getting a legal hangover
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