I guess I committed attempted murder!

[JustMyOpinion]

Usual call opening....

Customer: You can help me by explaining why my damn phone bill is so high!

Me: Looking at your usage ma'am, I see that you have used more minutes than your plan allows for the month.

Customer: I did NOT! How dare you lowlife customer service representative tell me what I did! I know how much I use my phone.

Me: Ma'am, I will be happy to send you a copy of the bill details. The calls were made, and they were made to a number you have called often for the past year. They are legitimate calls and valid charges. I can change your plan and re-rate your bill and give you a credit. If you would like to stay on the same plan, you will need to pay these charges.

(By this time, I can tell by the background noise she is in a VERY public place.)

Customer: (At the top of her lungs)

YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME! I NEED TO CALL THE AUTHORITIES....YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!

Me: Ma'am, I assure you, I am trying to help you not kill you.

CustomerShe is sounding like a crazed maniac at this point)

SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE, SHE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

Me: Ma'am,

Customer: HELP! HELP! I AM BEING ASSAULTED!

Me: Ma'am.

Customer: SIR! (to a person around her) CAN YOU HELP ME, THIS LADY IS TRYING TO KILL ME?

(The concerned citizen is asking her if she would like him to call the police, and is asking what she needs protection from)

Me: Ma'am! I have sent you a copy of the bill reprint with detail of the calls made, if you would like me to credit your bill and put you on the next highest plan I can, I just need your permission.

Customer: OK.

Me: I have changed your plan to XXXX and issued a credit of XXX.XX, is there anything else I can help you with today?

Customer: You are wonderful, thank you. Have a nice day.

Me: Usual call closing.

WTF?! Seriously? I had a long day, I wasn't feeling good. This was my last call of Friday night. I am so glad I disposed of her information in the shredder so I can't look it back up and do something bad.

[Android Kaeli]

WTF? What the hell was that all about? I'm thinking she has more issues then a bigger then normal phone bill.

[LillFilly]

I sure hope that call was recorded in case she actually tries to charge you with threatening her life...

[Sapphire Silk]

Sooo. Crazy nut woman makes a big scene over a phone bill after you offer a reasonable fix, then . . . accepts the fix you originally offered.

She got what out of this again?

[NateTheChops]

Let me just throw you a big cuddly bear hug of a welcome here. And I wish I could tell you that yours was the wierdest compared to what I've dealt with. But from my experience it only gets worse from there on out.

[spark]

My sister once fell down screaming "You're killing me, you're killing me!" at my mother, when Mom refused to buy her something she wanted.

She was two though, so it was somewhat to be expected. This lady? I have no idea WTF.

[MoonCat]

So how do you kill someone over the phone?

I ask for totally, totally innocent reasons.

Kidding of course, seriously, she was definitely nutz.

[chainedbarista]

it sounds like she got credit she didn't deserve; what she really needs is an appointment with some thorazine and a padded room.

[JustaCashier]

<-----------My brain.




Mike

[Kristev]

I don't understand. How can you murder someone when you're only talking to them via telephone, far, far away?

[bainsidhe]

My goodness! Someone nearby was clearly attacking her, you should've released the call so she could dial the police immediately.

[ExRetailDrone]

Man, CSRs are just developing more and more crazy talents as the days progress. Psychic abilities, precognition, and now phone murder? Simply astounding.

[Racket_Man]

So how do you kill someone over the phone?

I ask for totally, totally innocent reasons.

Kidding of course, seriously, she was definitely nutz.

did you not get trained on that supersecret customer ZAPPING electric chair current button????

shame on your trainer. that is a require topic.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I don't understand. How can you murder someone when you're only talking to them via telephone, far, far away?

If we could ever figure that out, there would be a rash of deaths that would impress the hell out of the world's more colorful perpetrators of genocide stand up and applaud.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Man, CSRs are just developing more and more crazy talents as the days progress. Psychic abilities, precognition, and now phone murder? Simply astounding.

I am reminded of River Tam in the television series "Firefly".

"Plus, I can kill you with my brain"

one of my favorite quotes of her