The Four Problems: Princess-Snake Investigates

[Princess-Snake]

Lucky you, you all get the collector's edition.

The Murder on the Links
Me: Thank you for…
SC: Yeah, yeah, screw that bullshit! You’ve got some serious explaining to do missy!
And how are you this morning?
Me: May I ask what…
SC: What the hell is that bitch doing over here?!
Me: What is the…
SC: The problem is that my son’s ex-girlfriend is standing right over here at the golf course at the hotel where I’m staying!
Me: I don’t know…
SC: You damned idiots never know anything! Why did you allow that psycho bitch to be in the same hotel as my family?!
Because I am not psychic and her money was good.
SC: She’s damned slut just like her mother! There family is absolutely no good! Her and her mother are after my money! And I specifically told my son to never have any contact with that woman in the first place!
Easy there, dude. You’re starting to sound like an epileptic hobo.
SC: Well, I see you’re going to be no help! When I end up stabbed in the back and dropped in the ditch by that crazy ass bitch, I hope you’ll be happy!
Hangs up.

The Mystery of the Blue Train
Me: Thank you for calling. How may I help you?
SC: Yeah. I have a complaint I need to make. I’m staying here at X hotel and I can’t find my dress. It has a long blue train.
Me: Have you asked the hotel staff if they’ve seen your dress.
SC: Yeah. I did. They said they didn’t have it. It has a long blue train.
Me: Are you sure it is not in your suitcases?
SC: Yes! Geez! It has a long blue train! And for the record, my ruby is missing too!
Me: Well, I can probably call the hotel for you, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do anything.
SC: Aren’t you going to reimburse me for my dress and ruby?
Me: I don’t personally deal with these issues…
SC: Then transfer me to someone who can! My dress and diamonds are missing!
Me: I thought you said your ruby was missing?
SC: Well,… yeah… that too!
Me: Ma’am, you do realize these calls are recorded, right?
SC: Umm…wait a minute…muffled sounds Umm… my dad’s secretary found my ruby and diamonds. But my dress is still missing! It has a long blue train!
Sigh.

Death in the Clouds
Me: Thank you for calling. How may I help you?
SC: I just had a horrific experience during my flight! There was a wasp in the plane!
Me: I’m sorry?
SC: I said there was a wasp on the plane! .
Me: And how may I help you get over this shock?
SC: Why was there a wasp on the plane?! My husband is a dentist! He can’t be near wasps!
Is anyone following this logic?
Me: I really think this is more of a complaint to file to the airline.
SC: It just shot at us so fast like a blow dart!
Me: I am sorry, but I don’t think…
SC: What are you going to do to reimburse me! You must make me happy! Don’t you want to make me happy?!
About as much as I want snake venom injected into my neck.
Me: I’m sorry, but I’m not really the person to be complaining to. I would suggest filing your complaint with the airline.
SC: Will they give me a refund?! They had better give me a refund! If they don’t, I’m sure my mother can dig some dirt on them!
Hangs up.

Death on the Nile
Me: Thank you for calling. How may I help you?
SC: I’m here to make a complaint about your Egyptian cruise!
Me: I’m sorry sir, but we don’t sell tours to Egypt.
SC: Don’t lie! I know you do! My wife was inconvenienced and you’re trying to pretend your company doesn’t exist because you know you’re at fault!
Me: Sir, I’m sorry, but…
SC: Don’t start this shit with me! First, you tell us she can’t bring her pistol to Egypt with her, then your crew steals her pearl necklace, and now you’re giving me this shit!
Me: Sir, we do not…
SC: Yes, you do! I even know your agency is located in London! Try to escape that!
Me: Sir, I’m not in England.
SC: Yes you are! Don’t lie!
Me: Do I have an English accent?
SC: confused No.. actually, you sound… American. Are you in America?
Me: Yes.
SC: You bitch! You knew we were calling so you moved your agency to America!
Dude, stop it. We both know that you’re just shooting yourself in the leg at this point.
Me: Sir, I am terminating this call.
SC: Just you wait until…
Me: Hangs up.

[chainedbarista]

SC: Well, I see you’re going to be no help! When I end up stabbed in the back and dropped in the ditch by that crazy ass bitch, I hope you’ll be happy!
Hangs up.

we can only hope...oO

SC: Aren’t you going to reimburse me for my dress and ruby?
Me: I don’t personally deal with these issues…
SC: Then transfer me to someone who can! My dress and diamonds are missing!

i smell a SCAM

SC: Don’t start this shit with me! First, you tell us she can’t bring her pistol to Egypt with her, then your crew steals her pearl necklace, and now you’re giving me this shit!

hmm, i'm pretty sure not having weapons on board or taken to another country is pretty standard; for weapons internationally, there are most likely laws to be followed, papers to be filled out...and they certainly don't want a pair of nuts running around armed now, do they?

as for wasp woman...i got nothing.

[barainga]

Yes sir.. you have us pegged. We spent millions of dollars to move our agency to another country, spent several thousand to cover our accents just because we got a tip that you were going to call. Sadly however we forgot to change our phone number.

[Frantic Freddie]

hmm, i'm pretty sure not having weapons on board or taken to another country is pretty standard; for weapons internationally, there are most likely laws to be followed, papers to be filled out...and they certainly don't want a pair of nuts running around armed now, do they?

Actually it's perfectly legal to transport firearms in checked baggage in the US.They have to be unloaded, in a locked case that only the person they belong to has the key.I've done it many times myself.

Internationally it can be done,but depending on the country there may be reams of paperwork to fill out,I know people that have gone on African hunting trips with their guns.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Considering the recent unrest that's been going on in Egypt, getting even remotely close could be a Very Bad Thing.

Exactly when did you become VRS's partner in recreation ruination anyway?

[Princess-Snake]

Exactly when did you become VRS's partner in recreation ruination anyway?

For over a year now. Don't you remember The Plague from a (long) while back?
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=60252

[Sapphire Silk]

SC: Don’t start this shit with me! First, you tell us she can’t bring her pistol to Egypt with her, then your crew steals her pearl necklace, and now you’re giving me this shit!

Some people just don't get that the 2nd Amendment doesn't apply outside of the borders of the United States.

This is why people use the phrase "Ugly Americans."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

For over a year now. Don't you remember The Plague from a (long) while back?
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=60252

No. This old timer's slowly losing it.

[Onlooker]

Darn you, Princess-Snake! Now I'm going to have to go dig out all the books again! (Especially loved how well the Death in the Clouds reference worked out... too bad it wasn't a dart

[Amajean]

Damn you have the crazies running at you head first don't you?

[JustaCashier]

Geeze!

It sounds like somewhere along the line, some of VRS's customers mated with some of GK's Nunavutians, and now the offspring are calling you!

Mike

[XCashier]

PS! Long time no see! I see you've been rounding up the escapees from the loony bin.

Me: Thank you for…
SC: Yeah, yeah, screw that bullshit! You’ve got some serious explaining to do missy!

Rude right off the bat. Yep, you can tell this one's a real winner.

SC: Well, I see you’re going to be no help! When I end up stabbed in the back and dropped in the ditch by that crazy ass bitch, I hope you’ll be happy!

"Why yes, I certainly will!"

SC: Then transfer me to someone who can! My dress and diamonds are missing!
Me: I thought you said your ruby was missing?
SC: Well,… yeah… that too!
Me: Ma’am, you do realize these calls are recorded, right?
SC: Umm…wait a minute…muffled sounds Umm… my dad’s secretary found my ruby and diamonds. But my dress is still missing! It has a long blue train!

Busted! To quote Nelson Muntz, "HA-ha!" And she's totally fooling everybody with that last bit. Sure, your dad's secretary just found them. And I've got a ski lodge in downtown Phoenix I'd love to sell you.

SC: Why was there a wasp on the plane?! My husband is a dentist! He can’t be near wasps!
Is anyone following this logic?

Only at a very safe distance...

SC: You bitch! You knew we were calling so you moved your agency to America!
Dude, stop it. We both know that you’re just shooting yourself in the leg at this point.
Me: Sir, I am terminating this call.
SC: Just you wait until…
Me: Hangs up.

Must be related to the previous SC. Leaps across logical chasms the size of the Grand Canyon. I'd try to see their point of view, but I can't cram my head that far up my kiester.

It sounds like somewhere along the line, some of VRS's customers mated with some of GK's Nunavutians, and now the offspring are calling you!

"Sucky Customers: The Next Generation". Sheesh, that'd give Freddy nightmares!

[jerkface11]

SC: Don’t start this shit with me! First, you tell us she can’t bring her pistol to Egypt with her, then your crew steals her pearl necklace, and now you’re giving me this shit!

They seriously thought they could take a handgun into another country? You can't even take one into Canada.

[Peppergirl]

Oh honey. I sometimes forget that I have a fellow friend in the torture...er, I mean TRAVEL business on here.

I feel for you. Truly.

Is it just me, or are they getting worse every day?

[HotelMinion]

People always try to scam hotels, saying their this and that is missing. When we can't find it, they accuse us of stealing. That's what safes are for. Use em! But nothing annoys me more when they simply forget their stuff and expect us to mail it priority to them at the cost of us for making them forget. We are not your babysitter!