not very helpful

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: Dave, I stayed with you before and I want to get one of those maps you give with the check in packet emailed to me

Me: I dont have any way to email it but I can mail you one

Guest: well I dont want to wait that long.....how hard is it to scan it into the computer and send it as a PDF file

Me: we dont have any way to do that

Guest: no you just cant be bothered. I know it can be done

Me: I am sorry ma'am but we cant

Guest: you are not very helpful, you know. ...well anyway, I need to know what discounts you are offering

Me: that depends on the home or villa you are renting

Guest: Dave, why are you making this so hard? You cant just tell me what discount you are offering.

Me: it varies by property

Guest: (she sighs) oh my God, I dont need this today.........I need to know before I book what discount is offered...why do I need to know what property? I dont understand why you cant just tell me

Me: because discounts vary

Guest: you said that already.......I just dont know what to do.....I cant get a map emailed, I cant find out about my discount. I am just so impressed with you, Dave.

Me: thank you

Guest: I was being sarcastic

Me: I know you were

Guest: you know what, just forget it.....scratch my name off your list.....I am never coming there again.....youre very mean spirited, Dave.

CLICK

[IT Grunt]

Earth to SC... come in SC....

What part of 'discounts vary by property' is that hard to understand? Oh wait... forgot where I was for a moment.

[kwdy]

Oh yes technically he CAN scan said map and e-mail it to you.

There is the problem of having a scanner at his place of business that does that. Being as I don't work there its possible that he in fact does not have the particular piece of PC equipment to do what you want him to do.

Such is life.

[Jester]

I love when people don't understand why you won't do something that is, oh, I dunno...impossible.

I actually had this conversation with a customer at the bar at the hotel I used to work at:

CUSTOMER: "What soups do you have today?"
JESTER: "We have [the soups that were available, none of which were tomato soup]."
CUSTOMER: "So, no tomato soup?"
JESTER: "No, sir."
CUSTOMER: "I really wanted tomato soup."
JESTER: "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have tomato soup."
CUSTOMER: "How hard would it be for you to just go in the back and open a can of tomato soup?"
JESTER: "Well, sir, we don't have any tomato soup in the back to open!"

It was not a matter of us not wanting to prepare tomato soup that day. It was a matter of us not having any fucking tomato soup to prepare.

I only wish I would get something like this at my current bar. It would go something like this...

CUSTOMER: "How hard would it be for you to just go in the back and open a can of tomato soup?"
JESTER: "Well, sir, since we prepare all of our soups from scratch, and have no canned soup at all in the building, that would be pretty much impossible."

[Daemonmonkey]

There is the problem of having a scanner at his place of business that does that.

He could have placed the map ON the screen* and have it magically scanned by the press of the SCAN button...







*according to some starfish

[Shalom]

Guest: I am just so impressed with you, Dave.

Me: thank you

Guest: I was being sarcastic

You: "So was I, ma'am."

I suppose you could have started reciting the discounts for all the properties you manage, preferably starting with the one furthest away from where she is...

[MoonCat]

Some people's brains just work that way...if you can call it working.

Customer: How much does an ad cost?
Me: It depends on what type of ad.
Customer: Can't you just give me a price?
Me: Not without knowing what you're advertising and in one part of the paper.
Customer: Well, how much is an average ad?
Me: There is no such thing...(and on and on it goes...)

[Catwoman2965]

My co-worker is notorious for asking questions that no one can possibly answer. Whether they're work related or not.

He'll ask me if I have any idea how many other parties might be filing the same thing we are....Gee. let me get out my crystal ball and see!

And he's forever asking, when trying to make an appt to have his car serviced, how much it might cost. Which of course can' be answered if its something more than an oil change. But he still persists.

The best one was a couple years ago, on Valentine's Day. I think he had reservations for dinner for 8 or 8:30 and wanted to change them. so he called the restaurant every day. Which is annoying, but ok, asking if they had any cancellations. to which they always said no, but then he'd ask DID THEY ANTICIPATE having any? Let me see, its a Sat, AND V-day....my guess would be no, but how would the staff know?????

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

(to the customer)

Tell you what Ma'am. You email me a scanner, I'll email you one of the fliers.

[bainsidhe]

As to the discount question, it sometimes helps to list the range. Something like "promotions vary from 0% to 20%, depending on property and date. Not all properties have discounts all the time, can you give me an idea of property/date and I'll try to narrow it down for you?"

That would work on a sensible person....but how many of Dave's customers are sensible? Listing a range works well on things like widget sizes/color/general pricing, but when a customer hears "discount", they assume they're going to get the best discount all the time.

[Jetfire]

As to the discount question, it sometimes helps to list the range. Something like "promotions vary from 0% to 20%, depending on property and date. Not all properties have discounts all the time, can you give me an idea of property/date and I'll try to narrow it down for you?"

That would work on a sensible person....but how many of Dave's customers are sensible? Listing a range works well on things like widget sizes/color/general pricing, but when a customer hears "discount", they assume they're going to get the best discount all the time.

As you said, for normal people, a range would work fine. But if the SC picked a property that wasn't the max discount, they'd be pushing for it. And if they picked one that happened to be OVER that discount, they'd be complaining that Dave lied about the discounts that were available.

Hell even if they got the max stated Discount, they'd still be pushing to have a few more percent taken off.

In other words, you can't win, the only way not to lose is to just not play.

[taxguykarl]

Some people's brains just work that way...if you can call it working.

Customer: How much does an ad cost?
Me: It depends on what type of ad.
Customer: Can't you just give me a price?
Me: Not without knowing what you're advertising and in one part of the paper.
Customer: Well, how much is an average ad?
Me: There is no such thing...(and on and on it goes...)

Sounds like one of my typical exchanges. Very rarely are any two tax returns alike, so the fees can vary widely.

[Phone Jockey]

AHAHA! So mean-spirited and UNHELPFUL, Dave! Now stop tooling around & email her everything she wants, no matter what! HAHAHAHA!!

[Tito]

He could have placed the map ON the screen* and have it magically scanned by the press of the SCAN button...

LOL.... That reminds me of one of those tech support stories I read one time! Some idiot was complaining that the fax feature on his computer was not working. Come to find out, he was trying to fax a document by holding the paper up to his computer screen & clicking on send.

That lady does not sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, so she probably would have believed that Dave really could do that.