I Didn't Know "Venti Laate" Was a State of Being!

[TheGeneralPublicSucks]

This one is short, but sour.

I'm at Starbucks today and after ordering my drink, the next guy in line does this:

Cashier: "Hi how ya doin today?"
Jackass: "Venti Laate"

I love this one. This happens a lot at my work too. I love asking how someone is doing and being answered with a beverage.

Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Jackass: "Diet Coke"
Me: "Oh that's too bad, I was feeling a little Diet Coke yesterday but today I'm happy to say I am Iced Tea."
Jackass: "What"
Me: "Fuck you"
Jackass: "Diet Coke"


What kind of world do you live in where you just bark orders at someone when they greet you?! I mean, I'm looking at you, and it's obvious that you don't actually have money, probably not even a job, so what is with you? I would go on trying to explain this person, but it's a lost cause.

[BrenDAnn]

I love it. They expect us to be good little drones customer service people and greet everyone, but no one says hello back! Usually at the C-Store it's something like:

ME: Hi there.
SC: Marlbororedsinabox
ME: Okaaaayyy then...


Sometimes I'll say "and hi btw" or something. I love making them go "Oh! Oops! Hi!" when I say that. A co-worker of mine, if ignored when she says hello, will walk right over to them and say "How are you today?" to engage them. She says it works. I don't know, and I don't care to try.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

They used to come into Kinko's and just bark out a name. I'd say "Hi, how can I help you?" They'd say something like "Jones."

I'd just get profoundly stupid at that point.

Are they wanting to pick up an order? Drop one off? Look at their account? Pay a bill? Are they looking for someone with that name? Telling me what they are suffering?

Often, I'd just repeat it back, nodding sagely. Sometimes, they'd clue in. They wouldn't like it, but they'd clue in.

[BlaqueKatt]

Often, I'd just repeat it back, nodding sagely. Sometimes, they'd clue in. They wouldn't like it, but they'd clue in.

I just scared my cat from the giggles that mental image produced-poor no longer sleeping kitty...poor legs now with ventilation holes(non declawed kitties-ouch)....

I can also imagine you leaning over conspiratorially and whispering "the raven flies at midnight"

[blas]

Ugh, Bren, I remember that Marlboro state of mind! People and their "box"es drove me up a fricken wall.

[fireheart]

This is why whenever I serve smokes, I'll go "Hi what can I get you?" so the customer at least saves face.

[Food Lady]

I usually just say "hi" and don't ask how people are. But that's because when people ask how I am and I answer the polite, generic "fine" or "good", they don't believe me and question my answer. I wish they would just bark their orders at me.

[Null Requiem]

I've always responded to people asking how I am with "Alive" or "Not dead yet."

Both answers always seem to get a double take or a laugh from people who don't know me that well yet.

[Trixie]

I hate when people walk up and just say "I need cigarettes." Ohhhkaaay, ya maybe wanna narrow that down cuz if you leave it up to me no saying what you'll get.

And a special category is the ones who come up and ask for Marlboro. Again please narrow it down because if it's my choice, yeah better to make up your own mind.

[jjc927]

I hate when people walk up and just say "I need cigarettes." Ohhhkaaay, ya maybe wanna narrow that down cuz if you leave it up to me no saying what you'll get.

And a special category is the ones who come up and ask for Marlboro. Again please narrow it down because if it's my choice, yeah better to make up your own mind.

I get a lot of this with 24 packs of water. A lot of people will just say "I have a water underneath" and expect me to know right away which one they have (they probably assume I'll assume they have the one on sale but this isn't always the case) before they roll their cart to where I can see which one they have.

[Daemonmonkey]

Cashier: "Hi how ya doin today?"
Jackass: "Venti Laate"

As Venti Laate sounds like someone is saying Hyperventilating in Italian, I would answer "Sorry to hear that, maybe you should take it more easy. So What do you want?"

[AquaGirl]

I hate it when my customers asked me how I am when they could care less. Example: "Hi, how are you, I need-" I've gotten to the point where I usually quickly say "I'm wonderful, thank you for asking! How are you?" They are always confused, I guess because asking that question is, to them, automatic and requires no response on their part. I also make sure to always respond when asked that question myself, even in the drivethru and sadly the employees there seem confused as well-probably because few people actually ever respond to them.

[Princess J]

Or they ask how you are and start walking off right away. That is always wonderful.

[mikoyan29]

This is one of my pet peeves at work. People will start in with what they need. Typcially before I answer I will say, "Good morning" or something.

[Imogene]

I've been getting this one a lot more recently:
J: "How are you today?"
SC: "Thanks!"
J: