Ugh

[emilochka]

We have a fairly regular customer at our clothing store who drives us absolutely nuts. Let's call her UGH, short for "Ugh, <customer name> is on her way in." Her crimes and offences are legion and will be the subject of future posts.

For now, though, let's focus on one of her annoying but not quite evil traits: she always asks the same questions about every item. No matter your position or store type I'm sure most of you can relate having a customer who asks a ton of questions but doesn't seem at all interested in actually hearing the responses or learning about the product. Apparently she doesn't feel served unless we interact with her somehow.

Here are some of her greatest hits. (My unspoken but emphatic responses in italics.)

How does this fit?

It fits just like the six identical shirts you already own.

How much will this shrink?

It's 100% cotton. If you dry it on high heat, it will shrink. Probably a lot.

Does this need to be ironed?

If you wad it up into a ball and throw it on a table, like you just did that t-shirt, then yes, it will need to be ironed.

Is this on sale?

Is there a sale sign nearby or a markdown sticker on the price tag? No? Then let's just assume it's full price.

How much does this cost?

Bitch, if you make me walk halfway across the store just to look at a price tag two inches from your hand I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

This button is loose. Can I get a discount?

*super sweetly* No, but I'll be happy to sew it back on for you. Oh, you don't want it now?

This shirt is missing some sequins. Can I get a discount?

No, because there are three other pristine shirts in your size. Buy one of them.

I need this in size B but you only have this in size A and size C. Can I get a discount?

No. How will a discount make up for the fact that it doesn't fit?

<random statement of dissatisfaction> Can I get a discount?

I'm going to smack you now.

I'll probably think of more from her and others. In the mean time, I'd love to hear the questions that turn your mere customers into sucky customers!

[orcprincess]

Sounds like the first 15 minutes in my store after we open! Or the whole day for that matter.

My favorite is the lady who came in said she found a shirt 6 months ago that she liked...and guess what? She can't find it anywhere in the store(gee, really?) Anyhow, so she goes and finds some other random shirt, walks up to the cashwrap, and says...

"so what kind of a discount am I gonna get?"

Me:
Her: well, you don't have the shirt I want...so I should get a discount.
Me:
Her: How about 30%
Me: I'm sorry, I cannot, and will not be giving a discount because we don't carry a shirt you liked.
Her: Well that's poor customer service.
Me:......
Her: Bitch
Me:.....
Her: I hate this store!
Me: Sorry you feel that way, but I am unable to do that for you.
Her: Go to Hell!
Me:
Her: When I tell my husband, I am gonna own this store and fire all of you!
Me: ................


Then she comes back....she called corporate on me/us...they apologized, and gave her a coupon for 10% off....any FULL PRICED items. Guess who walked up with loads of sales merchandise...guess who can't use her coupon?

[Catwoman2965]

We have one customer who comes in all the time, and will engage any associate she can - wait, no, CORNER any associate she can, and proceed to complain on and on and on about everything under the sun regarding our merchandise.

She complains about the overall quality, the fit, the cut, and will point out teeny, tiny little "imperfections" that only she can see. She's just really draining and annoying, and she gets bonus points for coming in close to closing. No one wants to deal with her as she is such a PITA. To her credit, she has never asked for any discount for a dumb reason...

We also get people who ask the same questions as listed above, how does it fit? Will it shrink? Can I get a discount on this that or the othe thing. I had one lady ask for a discount on a down vest, because the stiching on one side was ever so slightly off. Ok, i can understand you don't want that one as it bothers you (even tho i could barely see it, and ONLY when she pointed it out) First she asked for a discount, and i said I'm sorry, we don't give them for "defective" merchandise. which we dont. We damage it out.

Then she went around and asked me THREE more times, no, how about 10%, 20%? I had to keep saying NICELY, we don't do it, and I am NOT authorized to give one. Finally ended up ordering it from another store, but really....

I'm guessing she'd read one too many articles that said if something isn't to your liking, ask for a discount, and you MORE THAN LIKELY will receive one! yeah, providing the store can and my corporate policy is we don't

[blas]

With what orcprincess posted.....last fall I overheard some woman throwing an epic fit in front of a cashier at Younkers and she threatened the "husband" card....what the hell difference is that supposed to make? "I'm going to call my husband!"

[emilochka]

With what orcprincess posted.....last fall I overheard some woman throwing an epic fit in front of a cashier at Younkers and she threatened the "husband" card....what the hell difference is that supposed to make? "I'm going to call my husband!"

Husbands have special rule negating powers, apparently. You see, most women haven't been using their husbands properly. Their job doesn't involved love, companionship, etc., but rather is to harass and abuse retail workers. It almost makes me want to get one, just for the shopping perks!

[laborcat]

Husbands have special rule negating powers, apparently. You see, most women haven't been using their husbands properly. Their job doesn't involved love, companionship, etc., but rather is to harass and abuse retail workers. It almost makes me want to get one, just for the shopping perks!

Then I must have a defective husband. Mine came without shopping perks.

I WANNA REFUND

[MoonCat]

Annoying questions? Hmm...

Every time the price of the paper goes up, I get "Are you getting a raise?" No, asshole. That extra 15 cents doesn't go very far.

Upon hearing they've missed the deadline for something, many people will ask, "When did it change??" About 20 years ago...which you should know since you place the same ad every week.

Or my favorite, "Prepay?? Since when??" Since 2002...which you also should know since you placed an ad two weeks ago.