Obituary follies (a bit ranty)

[MoonCat]

These are from recent calls involving death notices/obituaries. Warning: Sarcasm. If you recently lost someone, you may not want to read further, although I would bet money that the people posting on this site don't act this way:

Is the name of your deceased relative a big secret??? I explained to a caller that for someone who was prominent in the area, Editorial may write an obituary. Often the response is (cue the coy, I've-got-a-secret tone of voice): "Oh yes, my mother/father/brother/sister/great-aunt was very well known in this area, if I told you the name you’d recognize it!" Well, then, why don't you?? Trust me, I’m not going to gasp, faint or run screaming down the street.

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So I’m taking a memoriam notice and he says, "Well, it’s been ten years, unfortunately…or fortunately, however you want to look at it…." o.0
Then I look up his credit card info & read back the last four numbers. He’s not sure what I’m referring to and I tell him I can only see the last four, for security reasons…..so he proceeds to read me the first three groups of numbers….

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And then there are the people who want, no, DEMAND an obituary (news article about the deceased person)….and object, strenuously and vehemently, to the policy that says they aren’t going to get one (various reasons). They also object to the fact that we are (gasp!) making money on death notices (paid notice: an ad). Oh, the injustice! One guy yelled that we were "raping the public." Yeah...no. I object vehemently to misuse of the word "rape."

See, here's the thing: Nobody has the right to a news article. This is a privately-owned company, which, believe it or not, needs to make money. We have bills to pay. It's not morally wrong to charge money for a death notice. There's no legal obligation to run one, but it's an easy way to let a lot of people know that Great-Aunt Bertha has gone to her reward.

Now, despite my ranting, I actually do understand that grieving people want to do something in tribute to a loved one. Believe me, I've been there myself. But screaming at me isn't going to get you anything. We charge for these things, we have rules about who can place them, and we don't care about your family feud. I take great care with notices--the spelling of names, the dates of services, getting the photos in, etc. I will be as professional as possible. But some people make it really difficult.

I'll throw in one more for comic relief:

Had a caller ask me, "Where would I find the bankruptcy listings? Is that under debt notices?"

Seriously. He said that.

[Daemonmonkey]

Have a story where the newspaper employee acted like a SC.

My stepfather died some time ago, and we wanted to do a personal obituary in the newspaper. As he was a very dedicated art lover, we decided that as a picture use La Pietá. Their contact person started then to ramble about copyright and whatever, and even if I produced proof of permission and so he continued how they cannot print that and unclear © rules/whatever.

We ended taking another, clearly copyrighted image, and there were no problems in printing that...

What really annoys me is that they could have simply ended the discussion by telling that the NEWSPAPER has these rules therefore they couldn't comply.Now it took four weeks to create something acceptable for them...

[wolfie]

Have a story where the newspaper employee acted like a SC.

My stepfather died some time ago, and we wanted to do a personal obituary in the newspaper. As he was a very dedicated art lover, we decided that as a picture use La Pietá. Their contact person started then to ramble about copyright and whatever, and even if I produced proof of permission and so he continued how they cannot print that and unclear © rules/whatever.

My understanding is that "La Pieta" is a statue, so there would be 2 copyrights involved - the sculptor's, and the photographer's. Don't know about the photographer's copyright (wouldn't be an issue if you had taken the picture yourself), but I'm sure Michelangelo's copyright expired before you were born.

[MoonCat]

Have a story where the newspaper employee acted like a SC.

My stepfather died some time ago, and we wanted to do a personal obituary in the newspaper. As he was a very dedicated art lover, we decided that as a picture use La Pietá. Their contact person started then to ramble about copyright and whatever, and even if I produced proof of permission and so he continued how they cannot print that and unclear © rules/whatever.

We ended taking another, clearly copyrighted image, and there were no problems in printing that...

What really annoys me is that they could have simply ended the discussion by telling that the NEWSPAPER has these rules therefore they couldn't comply.Now it took four weeks to create something acceptable for them...

Wow. I agree that that was sucky. Yes, they probably had rules they had to follow, but I wouldn't think it would be that hard for the paper's marketing services or art dept. to find a copyright free pic or drawing of that sculpture. We offer a bunch of images that can run next to a notice, including several different types of crosses, angels, a shamrock, a rose, a lily, praying hands, numerous symbols such as the city police and fire depts, state troopers, Star of David...and so on. La Pieta would be a nice one to offer, and as I said, somewhere there is probably a copyright free image that could be used.

Maybe that paper was too small to have a decent art dept. Sorry you had to go through that on top of your grief.

[BamaBabe]

Here's a sucky relative story:

My father passed away almost 10 years ago. My mother paid the local newspaper to write and print a nice obit. Cue the sucky relative who shows up at the funeral home with laminated copies of said obit, and offers them to those in attendance. Once they take it from her, she tells them that she needs $3. What for? She paid for the newspaper copies and took the time to cut and laminate the obit. My mother was livid, and told the relative politely but firmly to fuck off.

Some people, I swear.

[MoonCat]

Here's a sucky relative story:

My father passed away almost 10 years ago. My mother paid the local newspaper to write and print a nice obit. Cue the sucky relative who shows up at the funeral home with laminated copies of said obit, and offers them to those in attendance. Once they take it from her, she tells them that she needs $3. What for? She paid for the newspaper copies and took the time to cut and laminate the obit. My mother was livid, and told the relative politely but firmly to fuck off.

Some people, I swear.

Years ago, even before I started working here, the company used to sell laminated copies of stuff. They stopped doing that before I was hired. Would you believe I still occasionally get people asking if we still do it?

[Becks]

Would you believe I still occasionally get people asking if we still do it?

Yes.

(character limit filler)

[NateTheChops]

so he proceeds to read me the first three groups of numbers

"Thank you sir. And don't be at all surprised if a huge order of beer and tacos shows up on your credit report in the future. I assure you, it happens to all of our clients and it's nothing to be alarmed about."

They also object to the fact that we are (gasp!) making money on death notices (paid notice: an ad).

Then they must hate the funeral director, who charges a fee to use the room in the funeral parlor for wakes and services. No to mention the city, or whoever owns the land where the burial plot is located. Oh and cremation costs a penny too I'm afraid.

Believe me, sir/madam, the people who write obituaries are the lowest link on the ladder of people who make some kind of profit associated with the deceased.

[AccountingDrone]

Wow. I agree that that was sucky. Yes, they probably had rules they had to follow, but I wouldn't think it would be that hard for the paper's marketing services or art dept. to find a copyright free pic or drawing of that sculpture. We offer a bunch of images that can run next to a notice, including several different types of crosses, angels, a shamrock, a rose, a lily, praying hands, numerous symbols such as the city police and fire depts, state troopers, Star of David...and so on. La Pieta would be a nice one to offer, and as I said, somewhere there is probably a copyright free image that could be used.

Maybe that paper was too small to have a decent art dept. Sorry you had to go through that on top of your grief.

my dad, as a 30 year army vet, had an American flag/"soldiers cross" image as the background on the handouts, and a simple small american flag in the newspaper. He also had a government issue honor guard [oddly enough the local color guard is made of marines and navy] and a piper.

[Rob keeps a uniform at Mom's house in case the legion there needs someone for funerals or presentations when we are there visiting]

[AccountingDrone]

Then they must hate the funeral director, who charges a fee to use the room in the funeral parlor for wakes and services. No to mention the city, or whoever owns the land where the burial plot is located. Oh and cremation costs a penny too I'm afraid.

Believe me, sir/madam, the people who write obituaries are the lowest link on the ladder of people who make some kind of profit associated with the deceased.

Hm, my dad's arrangements ended up being about $16K, was nicely done, the obit was perfect, the services graveside were perfect [as opposed to my uncle who was late for his own funeral - they sent him to the wrong graveyard, which probably had him laughing up in heaven... pissed the hell out of my aunt though. The rest of the family thought it was hillarious, he was known for being late everywhere and we had often used the joke about being late to ones funeral.] and I don't begrudge one penny of it.

Actually, the only thing my dad didn't plan and have pre-arranged was the wake afterwards - I planned it and used the Wegmans over in Geneseo for the catering. Something about the whole comfort food of beef on weck in the area =) [and other buffet goodies ]

[taxguykarl]

My understanding is that "La Pieta" is a statue, so there would be 2 copyrights involved - the sculptor's, and the photographer's. Don't know about the photographer's copyright (wouldn't be an issue if you had taken the picture yourself), but I'm sure Michelangelo's copyright expired before you were born.

IIRC, copyrights are valid for 75 years after the creator's death. As Michelangelo died in 1564 Pieta is now public domain.

[MoonCat]

my dad, as a 30 year army vet, had an American flag/"soldiers cross" image as the background on the handouts, and a simple small american flag in the newspaper. He also had a government issue honor guard [oddly enough the local color guard is made of marines and navy] and a piper.

[Rob keeps a uniform at Mom's house in case the legion there needs someone for funerals or presentations when we are there visiting]

We run a pic of the American flag next to veterans' notices. We don't charge for that.

Sadly, when my dad passed away, I could not find anybody who could play taps at his funeral. The local American Legion guys said he would have to have been a recent or current member, and he had let his membership lapse years ago. Then a few years after his funeral, I read that one of the suburban Legion posts around here would send representatives to ANY veteran's funeral, you only had to ask. I wish I had known.

[NateTheChops]

My mother always made it clear that she wants her body donated to science. In her mindset, if we're going to spend all of that money on her, she wants us to spend it on her while she's alive.

I on the otherhand, want my funeral to go down in history as the very first funeral to have an X rating. I won't go into details, but lets just say the agenda has been updated a bit.

[MoonCat]

My mother always made it clear that she wants her body donated to science. In her mindset, if we're going to spend all of that money on her, she wants us to spend it on her while she's alive.

I on the otherhand, want my funeral to go down in history as the very first funeral to have an X rating. I won't go into details, but lets just say the agenda has been updated a bit.

Are you familiar with the song "Forest Lawn"?

[NateTheChops]

Doesn't ring a bell.