Newsflash: You're too late, buddy

[MoonCat]

This happened to one of my co-workers today. A guy called to place one of those "in memory of" notices for a deceased relative.

Wanted it to run today. Small problem. We're a morning-only newspaper. Have been for about 3-4 years now. The paper hits the streets before we even get to work. Done. Finished. That's all we wrote.

Nope, customer insists he can get it in for "a later edition." My CW explained again that we only publish in the morning and started to say we haven't had an afternoon edition for several years. She only got about half the sentence out and he snapped, "well, you don't have to be cocky about it!"

Then he wanted to know if he could ask someone else. That really frosts me. What's the thinking behind that? She might be mistaken? She might be unaware that we still publish an afternoon edition? No, wait, I know....she just didn't want to take the ad. Yeah, that must be it.

Best part: We couldn't take it for the "later edition" even when we did publish in the afternoon/evening. The deadline for stuff like that, for Monday's paper, is Friday, and always has been.

[Yarnil]

He might want to pay for the enitre stack himself?

[MoonCat]

God knows. We like to joke that we'll run out and grab every paper off the street, then go down to the pressroom and print off all new copies just for people like him.

[Mytical]

Don't you just love Customer Standard Time? Come on you can admit how much you love it. You are among friends. Come join the Customer Standard Time Addicts!

[MoonCat]

Don't you just love Customer Standard Time? Come on you can admit how much you love it. You are among friends. Come join the Customer Standard Time Addicts!

Oh yes...I know that one. That's why they leave messages at 6:10 PM saying "It's only 5:58!!! You shouldn't be closed yet!"

[underemployeed]

Oh yes...I know that one. That's why they leave messages at 6:10 PM saying "It's only 5:58!!! You shouldn't be closed yet!"

we legally stop selling alcohol at 1AM. girl comes in wanting booze and gets annoyed we are wasting time not selling to her because it is now 1:05, and she came in at 1:01am My coworker was shocked I said "well now that we have established you can tell time and you have acknowledged you walked in after we can legally sell you can quit trying to bribe us, your really not that cute"

[Lots42]

Oh yes...I know that one. That's why they leave messages at 6:10 PM saying "It's only 5:58!!! You shouldn't be closed yet!"

Even if they were right, it's two minutes. Have some basic human compassion, customer.

[Ironclad Alibi]

... you're really not that cute"

She would be if you drank some of the booze you're not selling her.

[underemployeed]

She would be if you drank some of the booze you're not selling her.

I'm completely straight, I'm thinking I would have drank to the point I would have ended up trying to pick up my fellow male coworker on my way to drinking myself to death.

[Sheldonrs]

I'm completely straight, I'm thinking I would have drank to the point I would have ended up trying to pick up my fellow male coworker on my way to drinking myself to death.

Well HELLLOOOOOO There! Can i buy you another round?

[Captain Trips]

God knows. We like to joke that we'll run out and grab every paper off the street, then go down to the pressroom and print off all new copies just for people like him.

"See? I knew you had a way to do it? What do you mean that's a lot of work for a two dollar ad? I'm the customer, I'm always right, so you HAVE to do it!"

[MoonCat]

"See? I knew you had a way to do it? What do you mean that's a lot of work for a two dollar ad? I'm the customer, I'm always right, so you HAVE to do it!"

Stop channeling our customers...

We actually have had people demand that we "go down there and stop the presses" for them. Yeaaahhh....not happening.

[Jester]

(channeling my inner Carole King)

"And you're too late, baby, now you're too late
Though you really did try to make it
Something inside your head has died--
I can't hide my laughter or fake it..."

Don't you just love Customer Standard Time? Come on you can admit how much you love it. You are among friends. Come join the Customer Standard Time Addicts!

Happened to me just today. Well, yesterday, but I didn't find out about it till today.

My coworker, Nice Guy Eddie, was the closer tonight, and last night as well. When he came in tonight, he told me that he was supposed to yell at me on behalf of a customer from last night. Why? Well, this customer came in at 11:30 and was upset to find the kitchen closed, telling Eddie that "Jester told me you'd be serving until midnight." When Eddie told me this, I just started laughing. "You know exactly who I'm talking about, don't you?" Eddie asked me. Yes, I did. The dude was at my bar yesterday in the afternoon, and he asked me how late we served food, as his wife was flying in that evening. And I told him, quite honestly and matter-of-factly, that our kitchen is usually open till 11, and the bar is usually open till midnight. In other words, not at all what he told Eddie I had told him. (Added bonus: on his way out of the bar in the afternoon, the Customer Standard Time guy stopped to say to this one woman at the bar, whom he had not been talking to at all, that she was "the hottest woman on the planet" other than his wife. At least, that's what we think he said. But then, flirting with/hitting on a woman while mentioning your wife tends to confuse people's brains, so who knows what he actually said?

we legally stop selling alcohol at 1AM. girl comes in wanting booze and gets annoyed we are wasting time not selling to her because it is now 1:05, and she came in at 1:01am

Not wasting time when there's no time to waste. You missed the boat, you stay on the dock. End of story.

Even if they were right, it's two minutes. Have some basic human compassion, customer.

But they weren't right. So fuck 'em.

[wolfie]

Stop channeling our customers...

We actually have had people demand that we "go down there and stop the presses" for them. Yeaaahhh....not happening.

That's where you want an amputee co-worker to wave their hook in the customer's face and say "The f$%^ing things are too powerful - I tried, and this is how I wound up".