The Phone

[customersruinmylife]

At 5pm, all the phones in the school are turned off, so that whenever someone tries to ring, it goes straight to an answering machine. However, recently I have had a lot of potential clients who are looking for evening classes that have been trying to get a hold of me, but haven't been able to due to the phones being off. Because of this, during the Easter break, the school installed a new direct line to my office phone, so that when someone rings the school, they get this automated message:

"Welcome to *school*. I am sorry, but the campus is now closed for the evening. Please hold the line to leave a message. Or if your matter concerns an evening class, please press 1 to be put through to *my job*"

I have only been back at school for three days, and the phone is ringing CONSTANTLY. The problem is that none of these matters concern my job!

*ring ring*
Me: Good evening, head of adult learning speaking.
SC: Yes, I demand to speak to someone in charage regarding an incident my son was involved in today.
Me: I am afraid everyone has gone home for the day.
SC: Then why the hell did you answer!? *click*

*ring ring*
Me: Good evening, head of adult learning speaking.
SC: I need to speak to Mrs Teacher about my daughter! She has came home terribly upset!
Me: Mrs Teacher has gone home for the day.
SC: Well that's typical of that lazy cow! *click*

*ring ring*
Me: Good evening...(I think you guys get the picture)
SC: I need to make an appointment to speak to the head tomorrow.
Me: I am afraid I can only help with adult learning matters.
SC: Just make the appointment. I will be at school at 1pm tomorrow.
Me: Well I can tell you right away that 1pm won't be good, as it is lunch break.
SC: Well I guess she isn't going to have lunch then! *click*

*ring ring*
Me: Good evening *spiel*
SC: Yeah....uhhhh...I lost an earring when I was picking my daughter up today. Have you found it?
Me: I am afraid you will have to call back tomorrow about lost property. I can only help with adult learning matters.
SC: But I paid £5 for the earring!!
Me: Ok.
SC: .............................
Me: ..............................
SC: *click*

*ring ring*
SC: I wish to put in a complaint about your site staff!
Me: I cannot deal with complaints. You will have to call back tomorrow.
SC: But he was very, very rude to my dog!
Me: *click*

*ring ring*
SC: I am trying to help my daughter with her homework, but it is too difficult! I want to speak to whoever gave her such horrible work!
Me: All staff have gone home for the day.
SC: Oh great! Now I'm speaking to another recording! *click*

*ring ring*
SC: What time is it?
Me: Time you stopped wasting my time. *click*

I spoke to a daytime office worker about this.

CW: You think that's bad? It's a million times worse during the day! Sometimes I wonder if ANY of the parents in this school have jobs.

[Mytical]

Wow..just .. wow. Ok..who spiked the local water with clueless juice?

[Teysa]

I think I would have been tempted to offer to sign them up for remedial courses since they obviously lack the ability to listen or follow instructions.

[ArcticChicken]

I really, really, really wish I could convince myself you made some of those up.

[Becks]

*ring ring*
SC: What time is it?
Me: Time you stopped wasting my time. *click*

I you!!!

[underemployeed]

I really, really, really wish I could convince myself you made some of those up.

Yeah but of course after having enough crap happen to you, you realize dumb people are everywhere.

We had someone KNOW they called the gas station and insisted we provide medical advice on something in no way shape or form associated with gasoline which even then we wouldn't do. Now, had it been the bosses kids wondering wtf they should do, that would be understandable. No, this was some random person that had to be an adult and was having some sort of a problem that sounded serious but really the person taking the call was probably rated as "extremely rude" for insisting they call a doctor, hospital or someone who cares. (I guess they meant like a relative, I would have meant it the mean way)

[Kristev]

My hope for humanity has fallen down another level.

[EricKei]

My hope for humanity has fallen down another level.

Uhm...Kristev...some people from the other side of the planet called; they are asking about that "hope for humanity" thingy of yours. Something about it scaring the Normals dogs. I think they want you to take it back >_>

[Sapphire Silk]

*ring ring*
SC: I wish to put in a complaint about your site staff!
Me: I cannot deal with complaints. You will have to call back tomorrow.
SC: But he was very, very rude to my dog!
Me: *click*

Man, I actually heard this one in my head.

[MoonCat]

I am not surprised. Sad, isn't it?

Our night voicemail used include this information: "If you are a local funeral director, please call our designated evening death notice line." Note the word LOCAL. Do you think anyone heard that? Nope. People would gripe "Well, what IS the number?? You stupid &^%(^(#!!"

The local funeral homes receive a brochure from us with evening contact info on it. Anyone calling from outside the area has to wait until the next business day. It's not a perfect setup - but we're not open 24 hours. Frankly, if they wait until after 6 PM to call us, it can't be urgent.

[Racket_Man]

At 5pm, all the phones in the school are turned off, so that whenever someone tries to ring, it goes straight to an answering machine.

** sigh ***** I really wish my pizza place had that capability. I REALLY REEEAAAALLLYYYY do. or at best just a "We are closed at this time" announcement with an auto-hangup.

I would not have to stop my closing duties and cleanup every minute or so (a slight overstatement **sometimes**) to answer the phone telling people we are closed. and yes they let the phone ring for a long time (as in up to 2 or 3 minutes).

[Stryker One]

Uhm, wait.

** sigh ***** I really wish my pizza place had that capability. I REALLY REEEAAAALLLYYYY do. or at best just a "We are closed at this time" announcement with an auto-hangup.

I would not have to stop my closing duties and cleanup every minute or so (a slight overstatement **sometimes**) to answer the phone telling people we are closed. and yes they let the phone ring for a long time (as in up to 2 or 3 minutes).

Why not just leave the phone off the hook?

[Stryker One]

Please don't sniff my ass.

*ring ring*
SC: I wish to put in a complaint about your site staff!
Me: I cannot deal with complaints. You will have to call back tomorrow.
SC: But he was very, very rude to my dog!
Me: *click*

How exactly can you be "rude" to a dog? Isn't "rude" a human societal concept?

[EricKei]

Why not just leave the phone off the hook?

Back at "DaddyJim's Pizza", we probably would have been fired for taking them all off of the hooks --- if not for the fact that they were prepared for this exact thing. If all of the lines are ever On Hold/Off Hook with no voice activity nor dial tone for more than 60 seconds or so, they all automatically hang up.

That, and the above-store-level guys delighted in calling us at two minutes-til-close to make DAMN SURE we were still cheerfully taking new orders...Of course, they also stressed the importance of getting the place closed as soon as humanly possible, despite the fact that we technically weren't supposed to begin closing procedures until after Closing Time, even if we haven't had a call in two hours >_>