The Worst Customer of 2011. (So Far.)

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

according to Wikipedia, 14 is the age of consent reference but as long as you re udner 18, you can't be charged. However, I wonder if the guy would be considered to be prostituting the girl, which would mean he'd be in hot water. Certainly it seems immoral to offer sexual favours froim your ( I assume) daughter to someone else/

regardless, the guy was doing it in the USA, so US law applies, which means that it is illegal. (age of consent in Florida is 18, according to wikipedia)

as for the original story, if I caused such a scene, I'd have left a bigger than usual tip as some compensation for the bartender to have to put up with me. ( although i'm unsure if you are supposed to tip the bartender in the UK. I don't go to bars anyway, so it doesnt particuarly matter)

I can't help but wonder if Jester and his date were nearly the victims of some kind of sting operation...

[MoonCat]

A terrific story! I believe this will be used for one of the episodes of the upcoming television series, The Jester Show! It is being billed as being "The Happiest Hour on TV"!

Isn't that on right before "The Gravekeeper Hour"?

[Kanalah]

I think we need a CS tv channel. I would totally watch it

CSTV: All awesome stories, all the time?

Can all the crafters share a martha stewart esque show where we show people how to make things and dish about hagglers and freebie hounds?

[Solumina]

Yes, they do have disturbingly hot women. AND disturbingly hot men, as well.

They also have men who make disturbingly hot women.

[Jester]

So, let us see:
3) Non-Customers
4) Arguing over their bad taste (Really, rum and coke?)
6) Attempts to cover inappropriate behavior
7) Stiffing you on the tip
8) Poorly thought out insults/whatever
9) Failure to have Smoking Hot Chicks with them

3. While some of them were not customers per se, they were with the people who were customers, so that doesn't really apply.
4. He wasn't really arguing. More like....fishing.
6. They made no attempt to cover it up, merely to pay for it. They saw no problem with the behavior itself.
7. I fully expected it at that point, and really just wanted them the fuck out of my bar.
8. Don't think it was an insult so much as an attempt to scold me and instruct me on how to behave. Which was ridiculous.
9. Perhaps their biggest crime of all! What a truly horrible way to represent their country.

As a side note, the quote about Mt Gay Rum being rum for Gays is HILARIOUS.

It really, really is. And I quote it incessantly. Especially when someone has the nerve to tell me that there is no such thing as a stupid question.

However, I wonder if the guy would be considered to be prostituting the girl, which would mean he'd be in hot water. Certainly it seems immoral to offer sexual favours froim your ( I assume) daughter to someone else

I dunno. He never really asked for money or propositioned us for some deal. It was more like, "Go for it. Have at it. Have fun." That sort of thing. Very bizarre. And I really doubt it was his daughter. Sister, perhaps, but he just seemed too young to be her father. Of course, I have no idea how old he was, but we figured him to be about 23. Then again, that's how old we figured HER to be, so who knows?

regardless, the guy was doing it in the USA, so US law applies, which means that it is illegal. (age of consent in Florida is 18, according to wikipedia)

Clearly. And facts we were well aware of, even if he was not.

as for the original story, if I caused such a scene, I'd have left a bigger than usual tip as some compensation for the bartender to have to put up with me.

Yes, but you are not an idiot assmunch douchebag like this guy was.

A terrific story! I believe this will be used for one of the episodes of the upcoming television series, The Jester Show! It is being billed as being "The Happiest Hour on TV"!

Somehow you make it sound as if the network suits have gotten a hold of it and have started promoting it. And that thought makes me feel.....dirty.

I can't help but wonder if Jester and his date were nearly the victims of some kind of sting operation...

Of course it's always possible, but quite honestly, I don't think that was the case. It's hard to explain how or why I feel this....it really is one of those "you had to be there" things. It just was more of a conversation that popped up among two groups hanging out at the same bar. But then again...who knows?

[Kogarashi]

I think we need a CS tv channel. I would totally watch it

CSTV: All awesome stories, all the time?

Can all the crafters share a martha stewart esque show where we show people how to make things and dish about hagglers and freebie hounds?

Ooh, I'm game.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Count me in among the folks that would enjoy a sort of CSTV type of thing. Obviously, Jester and Gravekeeper should get their own hour-long shows due to the nature of their awesomeness. Meanwhile, we also have the trials and tribulations as seen on the Britcom "Customers Ruin My Life" (starring customersruinmylife)...

I know Jester will be modest or something because he's chill like that, but hey, he's worth it and we all love him 'cos he's awesome like that, too.

[Jester]

Modest my ass. I WAS a dj and DID have my own (college) radio show for a while, ya know. And I am about as shy as a jackhammer is quiet. Hell, my boss at The Bar recently had me do a radio interview with a food and drink-focused radio show that wanted to feature our bar and our large selection of rums. Who better than the rum guy at said bar, who also just happens to have broadcasting experience, a pretty decent radio voice, and knows how to speak into a microphone, not to mention thinking quickly on his feet? (The interview went spectacularly, by the way.)

Frankly, I think GK and I together would be a killer show. We'd be able to play off each other's strengths, and I'd have no problem filling in the gaps when he didn't feel like talking. (He seems, unlike me, to actually BE shy.)

I learned a long time ago that modesty is rarely useful. If I suck at something, I will be the first person to say so. (Hence my common approach to retail clerks: "Hi, I'm an idiot. Can you help me?") But if I am good at something, I will not shy away from it. After all, it is only arrogance if you can't back it up. When you can, it's simply confidence.

But as I think about this idea, I think a radio show or shows would be the way to go; I think it would better suit GK and his style, and I have the perfect face for radio. (Putting my mug on tv cannot result in anything good.) And after all, we're simply storytellers. Not much video there.

[AccountingDrone]

(The interview went spectacularly, by the way.)

Link?

[Jester]

Link?

Yes, that. Well.

There are two problems with that. The first one is merely timing--the interview has not aired yet. When it does, there will of course be an online version of it, and I will have a link that people will be able to go to hear it.

The other problem is bigger, and one I've been wrestling with privately for a little while now: anonymity. Because if I post that link to this site, any pretense of anonymity I have left here would be completely gone, as both myself and my bar are named quite prominently in the interview. I am pretty open about my life and my job, and anyone who really wanted to do a little research could probably figure out one or both of them without too much trouble, but I don't know that I just want to drop the curtain completely.

At the moment, to be perfectly honest, I have not decided which way I'm going to go on this.

[Mikkel]

I'm nosy enough to have done a bit of googling. Don't be surprised if a Danish guy one day step in and ask if you are Jester .
I'd like to try a good, but not too expensive, sipping rum, something I've never tried.

Back to the subject of anonymity. If your bosses are alright with your posting about your work, I suppose you can manage stalkers, friends who recognise themselves in the stories and other problems.
Even though I post under my given name, I don't think I'd risk it. We will survive not hearing the interview if you chose to be careful, I'm sure.

[AccountingDrone]

Yes, that. Well.

There are two problems with that. The first one is merely timing--the interview has not aired yet. When it does, there will of course be an online version of it, and I will have a link that people will be able to go to hear it.

The other problem is bigger, and one I've been wrestling with privately for a little while now: anonymity. Because if I post that link to this site, any pretense of anonymity I have left here would be completely gone, as both myself and my bar are named quite prominently in the interview. I am pretty open about my life and my job, and anyone who really wanted to do a little research could probably figure out one or both of them without too much trouble, but I don't know that I just want to drop the curtain completely.

At the moment, to be perfectly honest, I have not decided which way I'm going to go on this.

That's fine [though like Mikkel I already know which bar you work at ... google is my friend =)]

[Andara Bledin]

Somehow you make it sound as if the network suits have gotten a hold of it and have started promoting it. And that thought makes me feel.....dirty.

Obviously not the right kind of dirty.

^-.-^

[Mr Hero]

If Jester, GK, and CRML get their own shows, then I think Uncle Khiras should get his own. He had some awesome stories when he posted.

[Jester]

I'm nosy enough to have done a bit of googling. Don't be surprised if a Danish guy one day step in and ask if you are Jester .

I am rarely surprised. Though of course anyone who comes to my town is more than welcome to message me ahead of time and let me know. I have entertained a few people from this board.

I'd like to try a good, but not too expensive, sipping rum, something I've never tried.

Plenty to choose from in the $10-$15 range.

Back to the subject of anonymity. If your bosses are alright with your posting about your work, I suppose you can manage stalkers, friends who recognise themselves in the stories and other problems.

I don't think my bosses give a shit. They know me, they know what they get with me, and they know that I talk freely. They also know that I would never intentionally embarrass them. As I have said many times before here, I love my job and the people I work for. As I have told them many times before, I am not leaving that job until they fire me or I move back to Phoenix, whichever comes first.

On this topic, I am going to have even more to ponder than I had originally. Because now it's not just the radio interview.

Yesterday started off crappy when I realized the vaunted Jestermobile was lower on gas than I had realized, and I had to bike over to the gas station to buy an over-priced gas can and a gallon of gas. But it got better when, while I was out running some errands, I got a call from my boss. And when I say my boss, I don't mean the usual Boss I refer to, the general manager of The Bar, but the Owner himself. Which is rather unusual. And when I say "unusual," I mean that, while I have worked for him for four years now and he knows me, this is the first time he's ever actually called me. (Well, more accurately he had one of the managers call me so I would pick up rather than ignoring an unknown number, then he got on the line.)

To what did I owe this honor? Well, some friend of his (and he has a lot of friends, considering he is very well known and even a celebrity in certain circles) has some sort of tv show (I'm not really sure what kind, exactly, though it sounded pretty wild), and said friend is filming a couple segments on places in Key West, including Owner's bar. My bar. And being the resident rum guy, Owner wants me to join Owner and TV Show Guy during said filming to talk about rum.

I told Owner that due to the timing, I would have to clear it with my boss at the toy store (who Owner knows well), but it shouldn't be a problem. I cleared it, called Owner back, hung up...then immediately went bananas and called Mom and Stepdad to tell them. Who were almost as impressed as I was, though they don't really know who Owner is.

Yeah, this pretty much fucking rocks. And yes, this makes quandary I was in about posting the link to the radio show exponentially tougher. On the one hand, I would love to share this with my CS family. On the other hand, I don't know if I want to pull the curtain back THAT much.

And while some of you may have figured out which bar is mine, I do question whether any have figured out who I am (i.e., my name, as I am no one famous outside of this little island community), other than from occasional slips I've made and (hopefully) corrected. Not counting, of course, those I talk to privately one a regular basis.

What to do, what to do. Hmmm....

If Jester, GK, and CRML get their own shows, then I think Uncle Khiras should get his own. He had some awesome stories when he posted.

There are many well-deserving of wider exposure on this little site of ours.