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  • A frothing need for office supplies

    Dear Random Woman in a Rush,

    I can forgive you for thinking I can help with office supplies. True, the sign above my head says "Textbook Information", and true, I am clearly on the phone/dealing with paperwork and not waiting expectantly to help you, but what the hell. Everyone asks me about office supplies anyway- as long as it's not an obscure must-have lucky pen made from recycled leprochauns, I'm sure I can find it, or find someone else who can find it.

    It does not help your case, however, if you start off by running in my general direction and start shouting from half the store away that you need.... what, exactly? I'm sorry, all I heard was "I'm running late, you must help me find argleblargle..." That last angry outburst, by the way, was the noise that she made when she realized that she was standing right beside the item she needed.

    Shouting at me further also doesn't make this process go any faster. No, you cannot check out with me. My register is deceptive- it's only for special orders and ringing up scholarship students. You check out near an exit. I promise, it's faster. Not only are they already logged in, but I'm sure they'll be able to quickly give you the correct change for whatever wad of money is clutched in your angry fists. My coins aren't even unrolled yet- see the: special orders and scholarship students. At this time of year, it basically isn't used.

    I'm sorry if there is no one at the nearest exit- I have no idea where the hell they are. I'm not their boss, nor do I work for that department. No, I cannot just go over there and check you out. That is not my department. I will get in trouble. My job is over here, behind this desk, answering the phone that is currently ringing and I can't pick up because your raging, screaming need for office supplies may convince them that I'm being murdered or something.

    Yelling "You could have been more fucking helpful!" as you run across the store to the exit where you would have left anyway only makes me think that you're a loon. Especially since the item she was "running late" in order to get was... binder dividers Seriously? You don't even need to come to the bookstore to get that! Be proactive and run to target, walmart, walgreens, or any number of stores in this college town that I am positive possess the mystical binder dividers that you so crave.

    Love,
    Bookkeeper

    P.S. For all of you just picking up your textbooks.... what the heck? How are you passing your classes? Did you not realized this is the second to last week of school? I'm sorry if we don't have your book any longer, but it's because we're sending them back to the publisher. You know, because it's the end of the semester. In three weeks, summer semester begins. Don't be surprised if your book is not on the shelf.

  • #2
    There are people who clearly want to, but right now all sales are final so they're out of luck Of course, they can always sell them back at buyback, which I believe starts this week.
    There are some, though, that I think might just be kinda dumb. Like this guy in my Thomas Mallory class, for example. It is a class entirely about Le Morte Darthur. We started off reading source material, and we've been reading the text itself since spring break (mid-march). Today the guy in front of me turns around and says, "Wait, we have to read the whole book?" Yes. Yes, you do. This is a senior level English capstone class. Our final essay requires that we write about a subject which covers the entire book. So, I guess you could choose to only read the section you did your speech over, but you would most likely fail your final paper.
    Some people
    Naturally, those with printer errors can have their book exchanged- that's for my supervisor to decide though, not me. Lately it's been people who either forgot to buy a book or, like the person in my class, decided that reading the book for a class was optional. Luckily they've mostly been English majors lately, so there's a good chance that they can find the book they need at a local bookstore. Maybe not the right edition, but they can get the general idea of the novel and borrow a friend's book for any supplementary essays.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm going to publish a text-speak version of all of Shakespeare's works...for those students who clearly have huge problems reading anything that's not on their Twitter account...

      "2 B or nt 2 B" ... heh.

      I'll be rich, rich, rich!!! Wahhahahaha!
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Bookkeeper View Post
        Today the guy in front of me turns around and says, "Wait, we have to read the whole book?" Yes. Yes, you do. This is a senior level English capstone class.
        What kind of idiot majors in English thinking he doesn't have to read?
        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Panacea View Post
          What kind of idiot majors in English thinking he doesn't have to read?
          The same English "major" who is doing a triple-minor in drugs, sex, and booze.

          In four years, they will be called "Managers"

          B
          "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
          I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Well, I'll save these nice folks even more time and give them the short, short version :

            English: Shit happens
            History: Shit happened
            German: Scheiss happens
            French: Merde happens
            Folklore: Our ancestors told us via song that shit happened
            Rel.... (er, not going there, sorry ^_^ )
            Psychology: Freud happened

            I think that should just about cover it
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth EricKei View Post
              Rel.... (er, not going there, sorry ^_^ )
              No need to. The Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List is posted elsewhere.
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Bandit View Post
                The same English "major" who is doing a triple-minor in drugs, sex, and booze.

                In four years, they will be called "Managers"

                B
                Wait - I'm an English major with a triple minor in drugs, sex and booze too - Sadly, I'm not a manager. Come to think of it I was a manager while getting the degree so I guess your point stands.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth MoonCat View Post
                  I'm going to publish a text-speak version of all of Shakespeare's works...for those students who clearly have huge problems reading anything that's not on their Twitter account...

                  "2 B or nt 2 B" ... heh.

                  I'll be rich, rich, rich!!! Wahhahahaha!
                  Someone did Twitter versions of various pieces of classic literature. Shakespeare included.
                  The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                  Now queen of USSR-Land...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth fireheart17 View Post
                    Someone did Twitter versions of various pieces of classic literature. Shakespeare included.

                    I don't know whether to be impressed or scared

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth patiokitty View Post
                      I am sitting here laughing my ass off right now, and rather grateful that I had already finished me tea before opening this topic up again.

                      Thanks for the laugh! After today's results in the Canadian election I sorely needed that
                      Politics: We voted for this shit?? O.o

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth EricKei View Post
                        Well, I'll save these nice folks even more time and give them the short, short version :

                        English: Shit happens
                        History: Shit happened
                        German: Scheiss happens
                        French: Merde happens
                        Folklore: Our ancestors told us via song that shit happened
                        Rel.... (er, not going there, sorry ^_^ )
                        Psychology: Freud happened

                        I think that should just about cover it
                        Biology: The intestine turns moist undigested food and bacterial waste combined with digestive system residue into shit.
                        Engineering: Shit was deposited in the ANSI 117.1a 2003 compliant waste matter collection device, which then clogged due to an SC putting an entire roll of paper in it.
                        Chemistry: Untreated shit stinks due to uncontrolled release of Hydrogen Sulfide.
                        Agriculture: Shit is a fine source of nitrogenous fertilizer.
                        Business: Shit (specifically that from male ruminants) is an important part of any sales presentation.
                        Art: If something looks like shit on purpose, people may be more likely to buy it, but only if you die first.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth MoonCat View Post
                          I'm going to publish a text-speak version of all of Shakespeare's works...

                          "2 B or nt 2 B" ... heh.
                          Some of it's already been done. For example:

                          2 b, r nt 2 b dat iz d Q wthr ts noblr n d mnd 2 sufr d slngs & arowz of outrAjs fortn r 2 tAk armz agnst a C f trblz, & by oposn nd em?

                          No, I didn't do that. I found it on the net. Myself, I almost never abbreviate in my texts, other than "lol" and "&".

                          Quoth Bandit View Post
                          The same English "major" who is doing a triple-minor in drugs, sex, and booze.
                          Sounds like most students at my alma mater, actually. Including me.

                          Quoth EricKei View Post
                          Well, I'll save these nice folks even more time and give them the short, short version :

                          English: Shit happens
                          History: Shit happened
                          German: Scheiss happens
                          French: Merde happens
                          Folklore: Our ancestors told us via song that shit happened
                          Rel.... (er, not going there, sorry ^_^ )
                          Psychology: Freud happened

                          I think that should just about cover it
                          Oh, no. There's far more majors out there.

                          Broadcasting (my major): Shit happens, story at 11.
                          Political science (my minor): Shit happens if you don't vote for me.
                          Architecture: Let's build above all this shit that's happening.
                          Psychology: WHY did shit happen?
                          Archaeology: Shit happened to these people a long time ago.
                          Pre-law: Shit happens, and we can turn it into billable hours.
                          Criminology: Shit happened, and we can prove it.
                          Public relations: Shit really didn't happen as badly as it seems.
                          Pre-med and nursing: Shit happens, and we can cure it.
                          Music: Shit happens with a beat.
                          Computer science: Viruses happen.
                          Accounting: Shit happens on April 15th.
                          Film: Shit happens in 3-D.
                          Culinary arts: Shit happens, but we can make it taste better.

                          Etc., etc. I am sure there are plenty I didn't think of.

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

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