Tweet
This was a new one.
As many of you know, I am a magician. Every Wednesday, I do magic at a local toy shop during the day (they have a magic shop and different magicians performing almost every day) and at a local restaurant at night. For the restaurant gig, I dress very professionally, i.e., dress slacks, dress shoes, dress shirt, sometimes even a tie.
Now, I often get confused for a manager, but as I've been telling customers for years, "I dress better than the managers." Which is not an insult to the managers--if you worked as a restaurant manager, with all the possible situations you may find yourself in, would YOU wear your nicer stuff to work? Right. Didn't think so.
So, last week I was doing the restaurant gig, and at one point was simply chatting with a table of regulars. Admittedly, I might have looked like a manager, as I wasn't flinging cards at that exact moment. A very angry-looking older man comes up to me and asks, "Are you the manager?" I answered, quite truthfully, "No, sir. I'm the magician. I'm just the entertainment here." And he started to walk away, looking pissed off. As I try to help out the restaurant staff as much as possible, I broke away from the regulars and approached the angry guy. "Sir, is there something I can help you with?"
HIM: "I've been sitting here for a while now and haven't been waited on."
ME: "Where are you sitting, sir?"
HIM: (indicates the table he's seated at)
ME: "I'll get the manager and your server, sir."
He returns to his seat, and I spring into action, identifying the server, alerting her to the issue, and also alerting the manager on duty to the situation. As always, going above and beyond in my duties as a mere entertainer. (Not being arrogant here--I've been known to bus tables and help run food in magical down times, neither of which are in my job description as a magician.)
So the server, one of the restaurant's best, heads off to get this guy settled down and settled in, and after finishing up with whatever other situation he was dealing with, the MOD head off to talk to the table. Here is part of the conversation he had with the angry man, as he related to me later.
AM: "And that manager in the blue shirt walked by me three times and didn't even say a word."
MOD: "Sir, Jester is not a manager here. He is our magician, and he comes in every Wednesday to entertain people."
AM: "Well, he shouldn't dress like a manager!"
Cue laughter.
Right. I shouldn't dress like a manager.
Well, what exactly SHOULD I dress like? Bozo the clown? A beach bum? Would it be better for this old fart if I were in ripped jeans and a Megadeath shirt? A top hat and a cape? Seriously, what the flying fuck?
I've been doing magic at this restaurant, through two different "tours of duty" (2000-2004 & 2009-present) for over six years. Other than special events like Fantasy Fest, I have always dressed in the business professional style. And while I have often been confused for a manager, I have never, not once, not EVER, had anyone say, to me or anyone else (that I know of) that I should not dress in that manner. It looks good, it looks professional, and it conveys a certain professional air to my act.
But I guess to this guy I should be pulling a fucking rabbit out of a Dastardly Villain-type top hat, or be in a cheesy powder blue tuxedo or some such.
Well, Angry Old Man, I have some magical words for you. They're not "hocus pocus." They're not "abracadabra." They're not even "Hey, Ma, watch this!"
They're "Shut the fuck up and go fuck yourself, you overly entitled angry little piece of shit toad of a man! I'll dress however the fuck I want to dress, and out of thousands of people, both good and bad, you are the only one in the last fucking decade to have any fucking problem with it. I hope a rabbit sodomizes you with a fucking magic wand, asshole!"
Ta da!
As many of you know, I am a magician. Every Wednesday, I do magic at a local toy shop during the day (they have a magic shop and different magicians performing almost every day) and at a local restaurant at night. For the restaurant gig, I dress very professionally, i.e., dress slacks, dress shoes, dress shirt, sometimes even a tie.
Now, I often get confused for a manager, but as I've been telling customers for years, "I dress better than the managers." Which is not an insult to the managers--if you worked as a restaurant manager, with all the possible situations you may find yourself in, would YOU wear your nicer stuff to work? Right. Didn't think so.
So, last week I was doing the restaurant gig, and at one point was simply chatting with a table of regulars. Admittedly, I might have looked like a manager, as I wasn't flinging cards at that exact moment. A very angry-looking older man comes up to me and asks, "Are you the manager?" I answered, quite truthfully, "No, sir. I'm the magician. I'm just the entertainment here." And he started to walk away, looking pissed off. As I try to help out the restaurant staff as much as possible, I broke away from the regulars and approached the angry guy. "Sir, is there something I can help you with?"
HIM: "I've been sitting here for a while now and haven't been waited on."
ME: "Where are you sitting, sir?"
HIM: (indicates the table he's seated at)
ME: "I'll get the manager and your server, sir."
He returns to his seat, and I spring into action, identifying the server, alerting her to the issue, and also alerting the manager on duty to the situation. As always, going above and beyond in my duties as a mere entertainer. (Not being arrogant here--I've been known to bus tables and help run food in magical down times, neither of which are in my job description as a magician.)
So the server, one of the restaurant's best, heads off to get this guy settled down and settled in, and after finishing up with whatever other situation he was dealing with, the MOD head off to talk to the table. Here is part of the conversation he had with the angry man, as he related to me later.
AM: "And that manager in the blue shirt walked by me three times and didn't even say a word."
MOD: "Sir, Jester is not a manager here. He is our magician, and he comes in every Wednesday to entertain people."
AM: "Well, he shouldn't dress like a manager!"
Cue laughter.
Right. I shouldn't dress like a manager.
Well, what exactly SHOULD I dress like? Bozo the clown? A beach bum? Would it be better for this old fart if I were in ripped jeans and a Megadeath shirt? A top hat and a cape? Seriously, what the flying fuck?
I've been doing magic at this restaurant, through two different "tours of duty" (2000-2004 & 2009-present) for over six years. Other than special events like Fantasy Fest, I have always dressed in the business professional style. And while I have often been confused for a manager, I have never, not once, not EVER, had anyone say, to me or anyone else (that I know of) that I should not dress in that manner. It looks good, it looks professional, and it conveys a certain professional air to my act.
But I guess to this guy I should be pulling a fucking rabbit out of a Dastardly Villain-type top hat, or be in a cheesy powder blue tuxedo or some such.
Well, Angry Old Man, I have some magical words for you. They're not "hocus pocus." They're not "abracadabra." They're not even "Hey, Ma, watch this!"
They're "Shut the fuck up and go fuck yourself, you overly entitled angry little piece of shit toad of a man! I'll dress however the fuck I want to dress, and out of thousands of people, both good and bad, you are the only one in the last fucking decade to have any fucking problem with it. I hope a rabbit sodomizes you with a fucking magic wand, asshole!"
Ta da!
Comment