When friends become SCs... (help needed)

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

This pertains to my wife, not me.

She runs an in-home daycare. All the kids she looks after belong to people we know. It's been well established with all the parents that the hours of the daycare are 7 AM - 6 PM Monday - Friday and they are all quite good about this...except one.

The mother of one of the kids has made it a recurring habit to be late in picking up her child. Some nights she doesn't show until nearly 7 PM. She did not get here until 6:45 tonight.

She gets off work at 4:30 so there's no reason for her not to be here on time but she always has a long list of excuses as to why she's late. My wife has known this girl a long time (and even babysat her many moons ago) and so doesn't want to burn the friendship, but she's getting frustrated with the tardiness as it means she has to watch the child when she could (and should) be doing other things.

She's needed to pick prescriptions up and our local pharmacy closes at 7. If all the kids were gone by 6:15 this wouldn't be a problem but when one of the mothers doesn't show until 6:45...

I'm kind of at a loss myself. I've told my wife she needs to tell the mother that although they are friends she is running a business here and therefore there are rules that must be followed (sidenote: this mother has been inconsistent with her payments as well. She always does pay, it's not just never on the same day of the week).

So you'd think their be penalties when rules aren't followed. That's the tough part. My wife doesn't want to "fire" this customer because they are friends and the money is a big help to us, I told her about perhaps charging a "late fee" to try and convince mom to show up on time but she is reluctant to do that, again because they are friends and she is worried she could lose the customer over it.

I will relay to her any good suggestions you guys come up with.

[Stryker One]

Nothing personal, it's just business.

I know it's too late now, but generally doing business with friends is not a good idea. That being said, I would recommend putting together a contract and have them sign it. Have everything spelled out in detail, especially concerning late fees and hours of operation. Ultimately, she may have to decide which is more important, the business or the friendship.

[MaggieTheCat]

If your wife doesn't already, she needs to impose a late pick-up fee. A lot of daycares do it; if the parents are even a few minutes late picking their child up, they get a late fee. Not sure what the typical rate is, but I'd start at $5 for every 10 minutes late or something, payable in full or the child is not allowed back in the house until the fee is paid in full.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Don't most daycares charge late fees? Your wife needs to charge late fees. This women is using her for free childcare. If she were any kind of friend, she would not ask this of your wife.

Your wife isn't doing this as a friend, she's doing it as a business. A friend that cannot respect this is not worth keeping. A customer that asks for free stuff all the time is not worth keeping, either.

[BuffySummers]

Not sure what the typical rate is, but I'd start at $5 for every 10 minutes late or something, payable in full or the child is not allowed back in the house until the fee is paid in full.

Ha! Our day care charges $5 per MINUTE after 6pm.

The fee needs to be high enough to be a deterrant - you don't want people thinking that being 30 min late so they can finish that chai latte in peace is worth the $15. . .

Draw up a contract outlining fee structure, when payment is due, operating hours, and late fee. Have EVERY PARENT sign one - if people ask, you're updating your files for insurance purposes, on the advice of your accountant/attorney/stranger from a newsgroup. If every one signs one, then you're not singling out anybody, so it's fair for all.

If someone leaves because you expect them to pay what they owe in a timely fashion, than that person is a SC and can be replaced. There are waiting lists for daycares in our neck of the woods that are 18 months long. . .

Good luck!

[Thatgirl71]

Charging a late fee is not uncommon with daycare/babysitters these days, when I babysat for my sister and nannied for a bit, I did it. I bet if you're wife starts doing it she will notice a change right away.

[fireheart]

After that whole incident the woman would come pick her son up on time and then bugger off for a couple of hours instead going home. About a month later there is a huge row at the neighbour's house...the son blabbed to his daddy that mommy was 'playing' with some other guy. It came out that the reason the woman was always late was that she was having an affair, and she blamed my mother for her husband finding out because if she hadn't had to pick up her son on time he would never have seen mommy and her boyfriend fooling around. What a mess.

Oh dear lord...

My cousin runs a family daycare (not for friends). I'll have to ask her for stories.

[Teskeria]

I concur with everyone else. Have your wife sit down and work out a contract. The contract should include a late fee and the late fee should be calculated as at least time and a half (i prefer it be a minimum of $5.00) and charged in 15 minute increments at the most (10 is better in my evil mind). The fee should be per increment of *time* It should be spelled out like thus: (assuming your wife charges say $13.00 per hour overtime would be $19.50 per hour) 1-15 minutes late = $5 late fee, 16-30 minutes = $10.00, 31-45 minutes - $15.00, 46-60 minutes = $20.00, 61-75 = $25, 76-90 = $30, 91-105 = $35 and 106-120 = $40.00. More than 120 minutes late and the police will be called on the assumption you have been in an accident. (I knew someone who had it listed more than 2 hrs and she called CPS.) . Your wife needs to draw the line and protect herself. She also needs to put in the contract that payment is due on *due date* and more than 1 late payment within a 60 (or 90 if she's wants to be nice) day period will result in a late fee of $35.00 per late payment.
There's a good chance, if these ladies are all friends, that the one getting away with stuff is boasting or will be boasting about it, and that will really hurt your wife in the long run.

[MoonCat]

I agree with all of this, plus the fact that if the other mothers find out she's getting away with this, they might start to think it's OK, too. At that point you'd be losing money. Definitely charge a late fee.

[Canarr]

I agree with the business approaches already given here by several people. However, if your wife is really worried about losing this friend, she could try throwing the friend-argument back at her (if she hasn't done so already): sit her down, in private. Explain all the things she has to do between six and seven, and how her tardiness is making that difficult. Try the, "You're my friend, help me out here; pick up your kid on time, please!" routine. That way, the ball is back in her court; if she doesn't comply, then she's obviously not a "friend" worth keeping, so move along to the business solutions already suggested. If she's just a bit flaky, but not truly mean-spirited, she might realize what she's putting her friend through, and change her ways.

[tollbaby]

I pay my sitter $5 for each 15 minutes I run over her time (she closes at 4:30).

[Betweenshades]

Friends can make crappy business relations.

The late fee is a great idea. Start out by telling everyone that starting *insert date* there will be a late fee. No exceptions.

It's bad business letting people walk all over you. Sure, it's scary loosing a customer, but is the trade off worth it? If you don't want to loose them, then keep up what you're doing. If your wife wants the kids out on time, then she needs to speak up and enforce the ground rules. Business is risk, but you'd have the chance to get another client who's more respecting of the rules if this "friend" bails.

[Festival_Worker]

The late fees are certainly something worth looking into, but should probably not be your first move. It might even make the problem of people picking up their children late worse. I know it sounds a bit counter-intuitive, but studies have been done on this exact subject (Link). Basically, most people will try live by the rules of common decency, they don't want to be late and inconvenience you. Once you start charging them for being late, the thinking changes. They will no longer take the other person into account, because they can rationalize and say "It might inconvenience her that I'm late, but I'm paying her extra for that". (AKA the sort of thinking that spawns 99% of the stories here)

You could get around this by charging very high late fees, so that it's just not worth it to show up late, but there are problems with this as well. For one, most customers are friends of your wife. Are you really going to charge them the high late fees consistently, even if they really couldn't help being late? You might not want to punish your other friends because one of them is inconsiderate, but you have to be consistent or the one who is late will find out and you'll lose a friend anyway.

Appealing to her better nature first is probably the best first step and I'd even suggest 'firing' the problem customer before applying late fees, at least then there isn't any danger for problems with your other friends.

[chainedbarista]

yes; charge her fees for time over the allotted amount. if she complains, remind her exactly what the pick up hours are and why she is charged extra. she runs a business, not a charity and when a child is picked up late, that's money and time lost due to the selfishness and thoughtlessness of another.

[Ironclad Alibi]

...
My wife has known this girl a long time (and even babysat her many moons ago) and so doesn't want to burn the friendship, but she's getting frustrated with the tardiness as it means she has to watch the child when she could (and should) be doing other things.
...
My wife doesn't want to "fire" this customer because they are friends and the money is a big help to us, I told her about perhaps charging a "late fee" to try and convince mom to show up on time but she is reluctant to do that, again because they are friends and she is worried she could lose the customer over it.
...

Since the friend "has errands to run" and all kinds of other excuses, and since your wife doesn't want to have a "talk" with the friend or charge late fees, clearly another approach is needed.

Perhaps when your wife needs to run errands after 6:15, she can take the child with her on the errands? That way the child is not unattended, your wife gets her errands done, and the friend gets inconvienced in not being able to pick up the child on her own disfunctional schedule. Or maybe just drop the child of at the friend's house while running her errands. (No wait, that might backfire and the friend will expect delivery service.)

Or post a sign that says: Any child remaining after 6:15 gets a free puppy and espresso. And really do it.