I hate my customers.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I hate hate hate hate hate them. I know I shouldn't, but I just do.

Me: Okay, I'm showing you placed an order for $100 using a visa card that ends in #1234. is that correct?

SC: What? (Lots of noise in back ground; either screaming children or drunken people at the bar or...)

Me: *sigh* I'm showing you placed an order for $100 using a visa card that ends in #1234. is that correct?

SC: No, my card ends in 2/08.

Me: no sir, the last 4 digits of your card. #1234. Is that correct?

SC: um...( long pause while synapses misfire.) Oh, oh! Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. #1234. Yeah.

Me: Is that your card, sir?

SC: No, it's my girlfriend's.

Me: Ok well, sir, the order needs to be run through a security verification, and to do that, I need to speak to the person who'sname is on the card.

SC: But she gave me permission to use it!

Me: I'm sorry sir, but only the person who's name is on the card is legally allowed to use it.

SC: Oh, ok. It's my card.

Me: Sir, you just told me it was your girlfriend's card.

SC: Nah, it's her phone. It's my card.

Me: So your name is Norma?

SC: Um, yeah. (said in a nice deep voice.)

Me: Ok, well in order to verify your identity I will just need to call the bank and have them verify your identity.

SC: The bank's closed!

Me: Well then you will need to replace your order during banking hours.

SC; No, I need minutes on the phone right now. I need to call my wife.

Me: ????? using your girlfriend's card to call your wife? I'm sorry sir, but I cannot process an order for you until the security verification is complete.

SC: So I can't get any minutes on my phone?

Me: Wow, you're fast on the uptake, aren't you? No, Sir. I'm sorry.

SC: God da%$#*&!!!! You all need a damn reality check over there!! This is an emergency! I need to call my wife and tell her to call 911!

Me:Sir, even if your phone does not have minutes you can call 911 from your phone.

SC: But I need her to call 911 for me! You all need a reality check over there! I need you to put the damn minutes on my phone right now!

Me: Sir, why do you need her to call 911 for you when you can do it yourself right now?

SC: Um...

Me: *sigh* I'm going to cancel yuor order sir. Please replace it during banking hours so we can call the bank and verify your identity. Thank you for calling _______ and have a nice night.

SC: WAIT!

Me: What?

SC: (loooong pause...)

Me: Hello?

SC: *click*

Me: (banging my head against monitor)

[iradney]

*gives PG many caramel filled choccies and vouchers for stress massages*
it's ok, we think you're fabulous - even more so since you didn't reach into the phone and squirted lemon juice up his nose!

[DigitalEyes]

Ya know, I've found that having male workers sing the words, "They say you are a snow queen, but, honey, I don't think that's true. Why don't we get drunk and screw?" usually makes the loser, lush rednecks hang up straight away... It's just a suggestion.

[Becks]

PG, your post had EVERYTHING!!!! It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me want to curl up in a ball and not leave the house for years...

Thanks!!!!!!!!

[rdp78]

Oh, wow, like when I saw he had a wife and a girlfriend. Then I was like when I saw that he needed to call his wife to call 911. I'm still puzzled why he couldn't call 911 himself too.

Gives PG a and a box of dark chocolate truffles. My mom works at a call center so I've heard stories about how terrible people can be from her and man this has be one of the toughest jobs to do (for me worse because I'm not good using phones). So I also have say .

[Millahtyme1983]

you know over the years I have become more cynicle and jaded and I don't think I could work in a call center. With my current additude I would have called him out on his twisted attempts to get you to process the card and have just said

"do you think that for one second I am going to belive that bulls***"

Your a better person than I for being able to remain polite in such a situation.

[Simply Amazed]

you know over the years I have become more cynicle and jaded and I don't think I could work in a call center. With my current additude I would have called him out on his twisted attempts to get you to process the card and have just said

"do you think that for one second I am going to belive that bulls***"

Your a better person than I for being able to remain polite in such a situation.

So close but it would be perfect if you would say "do you think that for one second I am going to believe that bulls*** Norma?" to him.

[Chanlin]

Wow, just wow.

Handled very well there PG.

We get calls at my place of work like this on a regular basis.

I once had a guy try to tell me it was for his 17 year old daughter. This was back in the day when we used to ask for date of birth as verification as well. So this guy gave me his date of birth with the year being 1982. -- For clarification this was in 2004

Me: Sir, if you were born in 1982 that would make you the same age as me. For your daugther to be 17 she would have to have been born in 1987

SC: Yeah and?

Me: So, you were 5 years old when your daugter was born?

SC: Oh, no, that was when my daughter was born?

Me: So, your 17 year old daugther was born in 1982?

SC: Yeah

Me: So she's 22?

SC: No, I told you, she's 17

Me: Sir, do you even realize what you're saying?

SC: Huh?

Me: I'm sorry sir, but I'm not going to be able to process this order.

SC: Why not?

Me: I'm very sorry sir, have a nice day. -- Proceeds to input notes on account

[rdp78]

Wow, I think that guy needed to retake basic math and I'm assuming that can't be his daughter if it really is.

[Imogene]

"They say you are a snow queen, but, honey, I don't think that's true. Why don't we get drunk and screw?"

What song are those lyrics from?
/needs to know
//wants to find out the melody
///so sie can learn to sing it really badly

[katie kaboom]

What song are those lyrics from?
/needs to know
//wants to find out the melody
///so sie can learn to sing it really badly

I think it's a jimmy buffet song, but i don't know what it's called.

[tollbaby]

Googling reveals that it's a song called "Why Don't We Get Drunk" by Jimmy Buffett. Apparently, good ole Jimmy never came up with a good answer to that question

[Enigma]

Oh. My. Goodness.

Sometimes I can't believe how stupid these people think we are.