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There must be a full moon tonight

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  • #1

    There must be a full moon tonight

    Today so many freaky things happened, I decided to divide them up between 2 posts because I don't want to torture you poor people with one long rant. Instead I'll torture you with 2 shorter rants
    Today I was taking orders and working the window at the fast food place. I pulled night shift (6pm to 3am) and I usually deal with a few drunks because I got boobs and a pulse but today there must have been a full moon or something because ALL the freaks came out to play!!!
    I'll divide this up into 2 catagory's for 2 different threads.
    Part 1: Stupid flirty drunks
    Part 2: Too crazy for words

    AANNNDDD BEGIN!!

    Tic-Tac-Toe, 3 in a row

    Me: (opening spiel at window)
    Drunk guy: *leans over from passenger seat* Hiiii...
    Me: ...hi?
    DG: Ur hot...and pretty....and sexi.....are u shingle(single)?
    Me:

    Next car.

    Me: (opening spiel)
    DG2: Hey there baby
    Me: Your total is (total)
    DG2: Hows work?
    Me: ...ok I guess...
    DG2: Would it be better if I had sex with you?
    Me: Not really, no.
    DG2: Well you hit me up later after you had a few beers and we'll see how you feel.
    Me: Yeahhhno. Don't think so bud.

    Next car.

    Me: (opening spiel)
    Surprisingly sober guy: Hi hun how are you?
    Me: Oh i'm ok. How bout you sir?
    SSG: I'm fantastic.
    Me: *enter usual fast food phrases and friendly banter*
    SSG: *enter friendly comments and politeness*
    Me:
    SSG: What's your name sweetie?
    Me: *thinking he wants to call to compliment me to my boss* Kisa
    SSG: Well hi there Kisa. I'm Carl. You're hot as hell baby!!
    Note: SSG is twice my age...

    Later another guy...

    Me: (same as always)
    DG: Dammm girl!!!!
    Me:
    DG: You be super fine!!! I got a bad woody all of a sudden! You wanna help me out with that?
    Me: Not really...
    DG: You don't gotta touch it...just show me yer tits or let me watch you touch yerself.
    Me: Go away please....

    I had at least 20 more drunk losers ask for my name, number or just tell me how hot/sexy/pretty I am
    Answers: $1
    Correct Answers: $2
    Answers that require thought: $5
    Dumb looks are still free.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Kisa View Post
    DG: or let me watch you touch yerself.
    Me: Go away please....
    Here's what you do. Charge him $100 up front to see this. Then proceed to touch your arm. "There I touched myself. Have a nice day."
    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth Mr Hero View Post
      Here's what you do. Charge him $100 up front to see this. Then proceed to touch your arm. "There I touched myself. Have a nice day."
      Ur awesome! I seriously wish I would have thought of that! I was fairly pissed off at the time tho...
      Answers: $1
      Correct Answers: $2
      Answers that require thought: $5
      Dumb looks are still free.

      Comment

      • #4
        "When I think about you I touch myself"

        or
        Seshat's self-help guide:
        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

        Comment

        • #5
          I've never understood why creeps think telling you about their icky drunk man-bits is such a turn-on. *gag*
          A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth bainsidhe View Post
            I've never understood why creeps think telling you about their icky drunk man-bits is such a turn-on. *gag*
            You mean some slurring, yeasty-smelling schlob talking about his ding-a-ling doesn't get you all hot and heavy?
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

            Comment

            • #7
              Ugh, why do guys do that? Hmm wonder if that is why I have been single my whole life. Because I am not a raging idiot...cause if so I will stay single thanks. (Note : Not exactly single anymore, but still not sure why my SO puts up with me)
              Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

              Comment

              • #8
                That entire post pretty much sums up the reason why I wouldn't work nights. I would be far too frightened. Some of those examples were just funny, but a guy outright telling me he had a boner would freak me out. I would be on the phone to the police so fast...

                My brother works in a nightclub and doesn't finish till like 3 or 4 in the morning and recently he got jumped by someone. Fortunately for my brother, while he appears small, he's actually a personal trainer and works out and threw the f*cker into a hedge. I don't have that sort of power.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Kisa View Post
                  DG: You be super fine!!! I got a bad woody all of a sudden! You wanna help me out with that?
                  "Really? So do I!!! Why don't I help you with yours while you help me with mine?"
                  "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                  .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Kisa View Post
                    DG: You be super fine!!! I got a bad woody all of a sudden! You wanna help me out with that?
                    :holds up box cutter: Oh, I'll help you out with that, all right...

                    DG:

                    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                    My LiveJournal
                    A page we can all agree with!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth XCashier View Post
                      :holds up box cutter: Oh, I'll help you out with that, all right...

                      DG:

                      Best idea yet.
                      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        DG2: Well you hit me up later after you had a few beers and we'll see how you feel.
                        Me: Yeahhhno. Don't think so bud.
                        wait, he knows his 'date' needs beers before they'll 'consider' him? that's a whole other universe of loser right there.

                        a boxcutter and a quick flick of the wrist will solve your 'problem,' bud, size and hardness. (good call, xcashier! )
                        look! it's ghengis khan!
                        Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth XCashier View Post
                          :holds up box cutter: Oh, I'll help you out with that, all right...

                          DG:

                          Sadly we only carry safety box cutters at my work or else i'd so do that! I'm sure he'd calm down real quick
                          Answers: $1
                          Correct Answers: $2
                          Answers that require thought: $5
                          Dumb looks are still free.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                            Here's what you do. Charge him $100 up front to see this. Then proceed to touch your arm. "There I touched myself. Have a nice day."
                            OR
                            Shove your finger into your nostril (if you can make a knuckle disappear, all the better) and dig for all you're worth. Still counts as touching yourself!
                            The report button - not just for decoration

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Kisa View Post
                              You wanna help me out with that?
                              "What, to find it d'ya mean?"
                              Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

                              Comment

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