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This happened a couple of weeks ago.
I get a call from a man who is at a lady's house. He had some questions. I never did get the man's name. Anyway he starts asking if the lady had bought a license from us. During this whole the woman was in the background feeding the man lines but never got on the phone.
I look her up and she had bought an UPDATE to someone else's license. This someone else was a Lutheran minister who had been a customer of ours going back to the 1980s.
I stated that to the man and he started going off that she'd bought him the update in exchange for getting her equipment (which our software drives) up and running. The equipment isn't working because, well, she doesn't have her OWN licensed copy of the software. The upshot being that apparently the minister had somehow "tricked" her into buying him the update without doing what he promised. Somehow this was our problem.
I explained that if she needed to get the equipment working she needed her own new license (which costs more than twice what she paid to update the minister's license). I gave him quote.
He kept going back to how the minister had made promises, broken them and kept the goods the woman bought him. I explained that if she had been defrauded she should work it out with the minister, go to the police or talk to her lawyer. We can't really do anything about an agreement made between others.
The man wasn't hearing it. He kept asking what we could do for her. I kept saying if she needed the software, she'd need to buy a license of her own. I could also offer my advice that she work out the other issue with the other party.
But the minister wouldn't honor his agreement he repeated. So I advised them to talk to a lawyer and see if they could get damages. In the meantime she could buy her own license so she could run her equipment.
The guy switched tacks at that point. He stated that she had sued the minister and won. Now what could we do for her?
I thought about saying I could offer congratulations on winning, but bit my tongue. I stated again that I couldn't do anything but if she won a judgement, then it was the defendant's liability, not ours. He went on to state that the defendant had left town and nobody could find him, leaving this poor lady in the lurch. Wasn't there *something* we could do?
At one point we had the following exchange:
Me: So you're saying that you've won damages from Rev. Defendant but you expect us to pay them for him?
Caller: No. I just hoping you could do something about it.
Me: I honestly don't understand how that would work. Let's say we gave Ms. Plaintiff a license and she later succeeds in collecting the judgement. Would she turn that over to us?
Caller: Of course she would!
[Yeah. Sure!]
I finally said there really wasn't anything *I* could do but, if he didn't mind holding, I'd talk to a colleague and see what we could do. Mainly because this story was getting crazier by the second and I needed a break before I lost it.
So I put him on hold and buzzed Mark who was working at home. He looked up the order in the order entry system (which I don't have access to) and found several things that punched holes in the story:
1. The lady had us ship the update to the minister's address. She clearly meant for him to have it.
2. The purchase happened 11 months ago. And she's just now coming to us with this sob story?
3. The minister is not only a very old customer, he's also a very GOOD customer. His activation record is also consistent with someone who is honest.
4. There's a note that it was explained to her that, if you buy an update for someone else's license, that the update belongs to that person, not you. We do this when we suspect someone is trying to get a license to use themselves by paying the much cheaper update price.
Despite this, it's not good form to call customers liars. Mark gave me advice on how to handle it.
I took the man off hold and told him to please fax a copy of the court judgement to my attention showing that she'd won specific damages from the minister. We'd also need the name (which he still hadn't given me) and mailing address of the man I'd been talking to.
No problem but what about helping with the license she had? Wait. She had a license?
Why yes! Funny how when I asked him at the start of the call about it, he'd gone on about the minister's license, then never mentioned it while I was giving him quotes for a NEW license.
So what's the serial number?
Hem.
Haw.
Hmmm.
No, really. I need that before I can go any further. But the lady, you see, she's not good with computers, she can't find it.
No problem. You're there, sir. Right? Can you double click? Can you go to Help/About?
There you go! Now lets get that number and see if we can get the lady's hardware working. As soon as he gave me the number I knew why he was reluctant to give it to me. It's a license which is only found on illegal download sites.
Oh, well. I'm afraid we don't support that license or allow people to buy update for it or, well anything. Other than quote the price of a new LEGAL license.
Apparently that was the minister's fault too.
The man went off on a brief rant about how a "man of God" would do such a thing to someone. I made sympathetic noises at him and reminded him to send that fax.
After we hung up I went and googled the minister. He's now retired but he was a pastor at a parish for years. As I said before, he's been a long-time good and honest customer.
And now apparently, this elderly retired minister has gone on the lam to avoid paying a judgement on a fraudelently obtained software update worth a couple hundred?
On the other hand we have a woman using known a pirated copy of our program who had someone call us looking for something free, apparently just because someone else allegedely cheated her and we should help her just...because.
It's about two weeks later and we still haven't received that fax, btw.
My theory (and it's just a theory) is that she did give the minister the software in exchange for helping her set up her equipment. He probably found that she didn't have a legal software license and advised her to buy one. She probably balked and refused to buy it, so he could do nothing more for her. In other words, she was an SC to him by refusing to pay for a necessary part and still expecting him to miraculously fix her problem. Well, he *is* a minister, but still no miracles were forthcoming.
I'm going to guess the pirated copy worked for 11 months up until just before she had the nameless helper man call us, then she figured she was entitled to something because she paid for the minister's update, even though the notes on the order indicate that it was explained to her that wasn't going to be the case.
So, you know, a scammer. Most scammers have the good sense to quit when they know the jig is up, but some just won't. At least they're entertaining as they keep trying and failing to come up with a story that will work.
I get a call from a man who is at a lady's house. He had some questions. I never did get the man's name. Anyway he starts asking if the lady had bought a license from us. During this whole the woman was in the background feeding the man lines but never got on the phone.
I look her up and she had bought an UPDATE to someone else's license. This someone else was a Lutheran minister who had been a customer of ours going back to the 1980s.
I stated that to the man and he started going off that she'd bought him the update in exchange for getting her equipment (which our software drives) up and running. The equipment isn't working because, well, she doesn't have her OWN licensed copy of the software. The upshot being that apparently the minister had somehow "tricked" her into buying him the update without doing what he promised. Somehow this was our problem.
I explained that if she needed to get the equipment working she needed her own new license (which costs more than twice what she paid to update the minister's license). I gave him quote.
He kept going back to how the minister had made promises, broken them and kept the goods the woman bought him. I explained that if she had been defrauded she should work it out with the minister, go to the police or talk to her lawyer. We can't really do anything about an agreement made between others.
The man wasn't hearing it. He kept asking what we could do for her. I kept saying if she needed the software, she'd need to buy a license of her own. I could also offer my advice that she work out the other issue with the other party.
But the minister wouldn't honor his agreement he repeated. So I advised them to talk to a lawyer and see if they could get damages. In the meantime she could buy her own license so she could run her equipment.
The guy switched tacks at that point. He stated that she had sued the minister and won. Now what could we do for her?
I thought about saying I could offer congratulations on winning, but bit my tongue. I stated again that I couldn't do anything but if she won a judgement, then it was the defendant's liability, not ours. He went on to state that the defendant had left town and nobody could find him, leaving this poor lady in the lurch. Wasn't there *something* we could do?
At one point we had the following exchange:
Me: So you're saying that you've won damages from Rev. Defendant but you expect us to pay them for him?
Caller: No. I just hoping you could do something about it.
Me: I honestly don't understand how that would work. Let's say we gave Ms. Plaintiff a license and she later succeeds in collecting the judgement. Would she turn that over to us?
Caller: Of course she would!
[Yeah. Sure!]
I finally said there really wasn't anything *I* could do but, if he didn't mind holding, I'd talk to a colleague and see what we could do. Mainly because this story was getting crazier by the second and I needed a break before I lost it.
So I put him on hold and buzzed Mark who was working at home. He looked up the order in the order entry system (which I don't have access to) and found several things that punched holes in the story:
1. The lady had us ship the update to the minister's address. She clearly meant for him to have it.
2. The purchase happened 11 months ago. And she's just now coming to us with this sob story?
3. The minister is not only a very old customer, he's also a very GOOD customer. His activation record is also consistent with someone who is honest.
4. There's a note that it was explained to her that, if you buy an update for someone else's license, that the update belongs to that person, not you. We do this when we suspect someone is trying to get a license to use themselves by paying the much cheaper update price.
Despite this, it's not good form to call customers liars. Mark gave me advice on how to handle it.
I took the man off hold and told him to please fax a copy of the court judgement to my attention showing that she'd won specific damages from the minister. We'd also need the name (which he still hadn't given me) and mailing address of the man I'd been talking to.
No problem but what about helping with the license she had? Wait. She had a license?
Why yes! Funny how when I asked him at the start of the call about it, he'd gone on about the minister's license, then never mentioned it while I was giving him quotes for a NEW license.
So what's the serial number?
Hem.
Haw.
Hmmm.
No, really. I need that before I can go any further. But the lady, you see, she's not good with computers, she can't find it.
No problem. You're there, sir. Right? Can you double click? Can you go to Help/About?
There you go! Now lets get that number and see if we can get the lady's hardware working. As soon as he gave me the number I knew why he was reluctant to give it to me. It's a license which is only found on illegal download sites.
Oh, well. I'm afraid we don't support that license or allow people to buy update for it or, well anything. Other than quote the price of a new LEGAL license.
Apparently that was the minister's fault too.
The man went off on a brief rant about how a "man of God" would do such a thing to someone. I made sympathetic noises at him and reminded him to send that fax.
After we hung up I went and googled the minister. He's now retired but he was a pastor at a parish for years. As I said before, he's been a long-time good and honest customer.
And now apparently, this elderly retired minister has gone on the lam to avoid paying a judgement on a fraudelently obtained software update worth a couple hundred?
On the other hand we have a woman using known a pirated copy of our program who had someone call us looking for something free, apparently just because someone else allegedely cheated her and we should help her just...because.
It's about two weeks later and we still haven't received that fax, btw.
My theory (and it's just a theory) is that she did give the minister the software in exchange for helping her set up her equipment. He probably found that she didn't have a legal software license and advised her to buy one. She probably balked and refused to buy it, so he could do nothing more for her. In other words, she was an SC to him by refusing to pay for a necessary part and still expecting him to miraculously fix her problem. Well, he *is* a minister, but still no miracles were forthcoming.
I'm going to guess the pirated copy worked for 11 months up until just before she had the nameless helper man call us, then she figured she was entitled to something because she paid for the minister's update, even though the notes on the order indicate that it was explained to her that wasn't going to be the case.
So, you know, a scammer. Most scammers have the good sense to quit when they know the jig is up, but some just won't. At least they're entertaining as they keep trying and failing to come up with a story that will work.
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