Tweet
You look like my ex-wife.
Confused Guy, not really sucky just really odd. I really felt insulted the MOMENT the guy told me I looked like his ex wife because honestly...what that implies just isn't attractive.
CG: *staring at me while I ring him up*
Me: ...
CG: You look exactly like my ex wife.
Me: Um...?
CG: Like...when she was young.
Me: Okay...?
CG: Uhhh...yeah.
Me: ...
CG: She was a very beautiful woman.
Me: Right...I wasn't sure if that was an insult or not.
You're cute.
SC: You're cute!
Me: I am.
SC: How can that be?
Me: Good genes.
SC: Haha, I have jeans too.
Me: Quel surprise, I have jean shorts.
SC: You're really cute.
Me: Mmmhmm.
SC: Well...I'll see you later.
Things that are not other things.
Things that have been used as trashcans:
Bushes in the rock gardens.
The parking lot.
Beds of peoples' trucks.
Shopping baskets.
The Corner.
Inside the cooler door.
The counter.
The floor.
Things that have been used as drains:
The Drip pans for the coffee and capp machines.
The holes in the counter that lead to small trashcans. (most coffee that goes through these holes doesn't make it into the cans and ends up all over the inside of the cabinet and dripping out the door on the side onto people's shoes. Congrats.)
Things that have been used as a toilet:
Urinals for shitting?
The sink.
The floor.
The parking lot.
The trashcan.
Things we don't sell.
"You don't sell T-shirts?"
"You don't sell decks of cards?"
"You don't sell rubber bands?"
"You don't sell twine?"
"You don't sell socks?"
"You don't sell coolers?"
"Dude, where's all the beer?"
It's too early for you to smell that bad.
Today I had to hold my breath while a guy was at the counter. Not my counter. My CW's counter. That's at least five feet, maybe six away from me. Come on. It's 7 AM, you shouldn't smell that bad that fast especially since it wasn't even hot out this morning.
Specials.
"Where are your cigarette specials? Why aren't they on the shelf? Why? Where are they? I want them now, I didn't want them before but I want them now. Where are they? I want the Marlboro Menthol two pack thing. I need them now. I don't want Camel, I don't like Camel, I want the Marlboro. Well when does your truck come in?! All the other places tell me! You're so useless."
So do I get free gas?
SC: So I got all this stuff, do I get free gas?
CW: Do you have a rewards card?
SC: Yeah, do I get free gas?
CW: Your total is 6.66.
SC: Wow! How often does that happen, does it mean I get free gas?
CW: No.
SC: Haha, I bet we'll get creamed when we leave the parking lot. If we live can we get free gas?
CW: If you live, I doubt it.
SC: Hahahahahaha, you're funny. We might die! 666! Hurr hurr!!!
Me: .........I wish it worked that way.
CW:
Got lucky.
Today someone shit all over the men's room again. I didn't know until I walked back in from a chore and my manager said (I always do his voice like Christian Bale's Batman voice, all scary and shit) "You got lucky." Apparently he cleaned it all up himself. I was impressed. He was in a good mood all day even after he had to clean up poop! I was really surprised. That vacation he just came back from must have been really good.
Well hi then...
Guy: Well hi there, Georgia.
Me: Um. I'm not Georgia.
Guy:
You're not?
Other Guy: Hey, you had your baby!
Me: I've never been pregnant.
OG: Wuh? Uh...I could have sworn...
Me: [former CW] was pregnant like a year or two ago but she doesn't work here anymore.
OG: Uhmmm...I dunno...I really did think it was...you.
Me: She's the only one I look anything like and the only one who was preggers who wasn't in the restaurant part of the C-store so you're probably thinking of her.
OG: Are you...sure?
Me: No, I'm not SURE I've never been pregnant...not at all. (Uber sarcasm alert, captain.)
OG: ........ *leaves*
Confused Guy, not really sucky just really odd. I really felt insulted the MOMENT the guy told me I looked like his ex wife because honestly...what that implies just isn't attractive.
CG: *staring at me while I ring him up*
Me: ...
CG: You look exactly like my ex wife.
Me: Um...?
CG: Like...when she was young.
Me: Okay...?
CG: Uhhh...yeah.
Me: ...
CG: She was a very beautiful woman.
Me: Right...I wasn't sure if that was an insult or not.
You're cute.
SC: You're cute!
Me: I am.
SC: How can that be?
Me: Good genes.
SC: Haha, I have jeans too.
Me: Quel surprise, I have jean shorts.
SC: You're really cute.
Me: Mmmhmm.
SC: Well...I'll see you later.
Things that are not other things.
Things that have been used as trashcans:
Bushes in the rock gardens.
The parking lot.
Beds of peoples' trucks.
Shopping baskets.
The Corner.
Inside the cooler door.
The counter.
The floor.
Things that have been used as drains:
The Drip pans for the coffee and capp machines.
The holes in the counter that lead to small trashcans. (most coffee that goes through these holes doesn't make it into the cans and ends up all over the inside of the cabinet and dripping out the door on the side onto people's shoes. Congrats.)
Things that have been used as a toilet:
Urinals for shitting?
The sink.
The floor.
The parking lot.
The trashcan.
Things we don't sell.
"You don't sell T-shirts?"
"You don't sell decks of cards?"
"You don't sell rubber bands?"
"You don't sell twine?"
"You don't sell socks?"
"You don't sell coolers?"
"Dude, where's all the beer?"
It's too early for you to smell that bad.
Today I had to hold my breath while a guy was at the counter. Not my counter. My CW's counter. That's at least five feet, maybe six away from me. Come on. It's 7 AM, you shouldn't smell that bad that fast especially since it wasn't even hot out this morning.
Specials.
"Where are your cigarette specials? Why aren't they on the shelf? Why? Where are they? I want them now, I didn't want them before but I want them now. Where are they? I want the Marlboro Menthol two pack thing. I need them now. I don't want Camel, I don't like Camel, I want the Marlboro. Well when does your truck come in?! All the other places tell me! You're so useless."
So do I get free gas?
SC: So I got all this stuff, do I get free gas?
CW: Do you have a rewards card?
SC: Yeah, do I get free gas?
CW: Your total is 6.66.
SC: Wow! How often does that happen, does it mean I get free gas?
CW: No.
SC: Haha, I bet we'll get creamed when we leave the parking lot. If we live can we get free gas?
CW: If you live, I doubt it.
SC: Hahahahahaha, you're funny. We might die! 666! Hurr hurr!!!
Me: .........I wish it worked that way.
CW:
Got lucky.
Today someone shit all over the men's room again. I didn't know until I walked back in from a chore and my manager said (I always do his voice like Christian Bale's Batman voice, all scary and shit) "You got lucky." Apparently he cleaned it all up himself. I was impressed. He was in a good mood all day even after he had to clean up poop! I was really surprised. That vacation he just came back from must have been really good.
Well hi then...
Guy: Well hi there, Georgia.
Me: Um. I'm not Georgia.
Guy:
You're not?Other Guy: Hey, you had your baby!
Me: I've never been pregnant.
OG: Wuh? Uh...I could have sworn...
Me: [former CW] was pregnant like a year or two ago but she doesn't work here anymore.
OG: Uhmmm...I dunno...I really did think it was...you.
Me: She's the only one I look anything like and the only one who was preggers who wasn't in the restaurant part of the C-store so you're probably thinking of her.
OG: Are you...sure?
Me: No, I'm not SURE I've never been pregnant...not at all. (Uber sarcasm alert, captain.)
OG: ........
*leaves*
Comment