Um, M.Y.O.B?

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

(I was a heavy fighter in the SCA at the time, I had armor bite and I took a shot on my hip from a warhammer), I showed her video on youtube and she didn't believe me.

Oh my gawd! If I had a nickle for every time I heard a variant of that story from a woman who fights heavy, I'd have a shitload of nickles.

Although there is a funny story from a friend of mine out in Settmore Swamp. She had the social worker come out WHILE she was armored up and really rocking her opponent back on his heels from her onslaught.

Kinda takes the wind out of the sails of the "Well she's lying to cover up for her husband" crap.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Try having social services called to talk to you by a well meaning boss. I admit my bruises looked bad, they looked like some grabbed my upper arms and shook me, and I was limping. However I explained my hobby to my boss (I was a heavy fighter in the SCA at the time, I had armor bite and I took a shot on my hip from a warhammer), I showed her video on youtube and she didn't believe me..

Didnt' happen to me, but happened to a fencing buddy of mine (SCA rapier fighter here). She bruised easily and tended to parry chest shots into her upper arm. Looked very much like finger marks.

Lady from Sistercare insisted she take one of her cards for "when she was ready to talk."

I should mention my friend is also a blackbelt. Trust me, noboby was beating on her. I mean, we were, but you know what I mean.

[IStillNeedToSeeYourBadge]

"I was in a car accident" would raise a lot less questions than that. "I fell" or "I ran into something" are pretty much always interpreted as "I am a vicitm of domestic assault". Sadly, because it happens...

[object Selection]

I kinda went with the fall bit when the first customer I saw guessed that and I just blurted out, "Sure, um, yeah." (Would have been a good time for a Lovitzian "Yeah, that's the ticket." Oh well.) But I figure car accident would beg too many follow-ups: "What road were you on?" "Were you the one driving?" "Who hit who?" etc. I figure keeping it boring as possible is the safe bet. (Although I really, really want to say, "The first rule is: I'm not supposed to talk about it." I'm overnight security, so I think some would be convinced.)

[mikoyan29]

It's nice that they show concern and all but there is a point where concern moves into the "it's none of your business" territory.

[Nyoibo]

I seem to remember telling someone once when they asked about my girlfriends bruise "I hit her with an axe"

[Betweenshades]

Try having social services called to talk to you by a well meaning boss. I admit my bruises looked bad, they looked like some grabbed my upper arms and shook me, and I was limping. However I explained my hobby to my boss (I was a heavy fighter in the SCA at the time, I had armor bite and I took a shot on my hip from a warhammer), I showed her video on youtube and she didn't believe me. Next thing I know I'm explaining to the nice social worker that no my boyfriend doesn't beat me, well he does but only when we're both in armor and I'm trying to hit him back, and it really wasn't his fault I didn't block the shot to my hip fast enough and...

Yeah. Ends badly.

I actually would've paid real money to have watched the cops faces as you were explaining that...

[Nayeli_Sabia]

I still laugh when i remember being called to the nurses office so she could council me about my self injury cuts that where very evident up my arms.

She didn't believe me that it was my sister's new (EVIL) kitten who would attack my hands at night. She finally let it go when I offered to take her to my house(three houses down from the school) to meet the new kitten, Panther(Warning, never name your cat something predatory!). I still don't think she believed me.

On the positive side, my mom was convinced after this that it was ok to let the kitten sleep in the main part of the house at night. No more flying kitten attacks. ^_^

[Miss Maple Leaf]

I actually did walk face-first into a door once.

Oh thank god! I thought I was the only one who ever did that!

I got home from my cousin's wedding reception around 1:30am and went upstairs to my room. I didn't bother to turn on the hall light because I can easily find my way around my home in the dark. Went to enter my room, and *bang!* right into the door.
I don't know if I had closed it before I left and had just forgotten about it, or if my mother had closed it when she got home. Either way, with the light off I couldn't see it, and nearly got knocked on my butt. The noise woke my mother up and she enjoyed teasing me about it for the next few days.

Another time (months before the above happened) I was in the living room watching tv and went upstairs to use the washroom. It was nighttime, so it was dark, but I didn't bother to turn on the hall light because I can easily find my way to the bathroom (can you see where this is going? ).
Now, the light switch for the bathroom is outside the bathroom, on the right. As I was about to enter the bathroom I made a quick turn to flip the switch but must have misjudged the angle and turned right into a corner of the door frame.

Of course, as I mentioned in an earlier thread, I also managed to trip over a door once too, so I don't know what to say. I guess doors just have it in for me.

Plus, I tend to bruise stupidly easily (a slight bump against something is sometimes enough to give me a bruise), and I'm horribly accident-prone, so it's a good thing that I'm not involved in a relationship with anyone. The poor bastard would probably be accused of domestic assault constantly.

[Seshat]

I walk into doorways often. I don't even have the excuse of darkness (my night vision is abysmal, so I ALWAYS turn lights on). Heck, I walk into just about anything. I'm always bumping myself on something.

It's a damn good thing that my medical team knows about all this (and has met my family, and talked to me in private and so on), or they'd be obliged to report suspicions....


Oh. I have a friend who tried to catch a train once. He was in his Kendo gear, miscalculated how much larger he was with the armour, and while his feet were on/behind the yellow line..... well, he was clipped by the edge of the train.
The armour was somewhat damaged. He was bruised. He sort of got clipped and turned to the side, and pushed into the rush-hour cluster of people behind him, who caught him. No injuries other than muscle/skin damage, no open wounds. Kendo armour is tough!

So yeah.. he still gets asked if he's going to 'catch a train'.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I had a pretty bad accident on a trail hiking once and I looked like I'd been beaten up. Nobody said anything, but I bet they thought it. I had bruises on my face, a sprained hand, and was limping a little because I had a bruise on my hip the size of a catcher's mitt. It was kind of embarrassing.

I hit my head on a downed tree and fallen into a rocky creekbed. It looked like I'd lost a fist fight.

[dragon_wings]

*waves* I'm also a klutz and bruise easily. I've had friends play punch me and bruise.

One friend punch my upper arm and I said 'Ow. I'm so gonna have a bruise there now.' of course she scoffed and expressed her doubt. Sure enough I soon had a small bruise.

Oh and last Friday I was at the Panera Bread next to work for a soda and to use the free wifi. After I threw my empty cup away I went to go to the bathroom and smashed my elbow on the corner. The bruise if finally about gone.

[Cazzi]

Another easily bruised person with lack of spacial awareness here

I walk into all sorts, fall over nothing & have even ended up with bruises on the back of my hands from hauling rope once. Although, the meds I was taking at the time may have contributed to that one I even wobble on a treadmill at walking speed if I don't hold on!

I'm also good at throwing things at myself... knives, pans, frozen turkeys...

Again, I'm also lucky I'm not in a relationship or my SO would be hauled off & questioned intensively! I've already had a male friend glared at while he's been out with me, I tripped & was about to land on the floor when he grabbed my arm to stop me... had a lovely set of fingermarks & a short sleeved top

[Binky]

I managed to slam the car door on my face once (yes I'm THAT tallented) just as I was walking into work. because it just happened it was only just starting to well up, and my boss believed me. It was the many people that saw me later with my husband that didn't. I had on shades because, you know, it was bright, and I would take them off when I went indoor. Everyone gave my husband the BIGGEST stink eye like he was pure evil. I mentioned a couple of times what I'd really done. Sadly I guess that lines been over used, so I just let them think what they wanted...

[spark]

I have invisible bruises. I can feel the darned things, but you can't see them. But I also have a cat who plays rough, so my right hand is always covered in scratches and scabs. Never had anybody assume I was a cutter to my face, but I wouldn't be surprised if somebody thought it.

I was actually a "cutter" sorta, briefly. I'd heard about it, and I was really depressed and stressed, so I tried it a couple of times. But it didn't help, so I didn't do it again. (I can see how it could help, given some of the weird stuff I've done that *did* help, but I guess I'm just not wired right (wrong?) for it or something.)

[Thatgirl71]

Sometimes when I have an allergy attack I get the occasional hives along with it. Well one morning before work, wouldn't you know, allergy attack. I had a huge hive on my upper lip which made me look like someone had punched me in the mouth, I took my allergy meds and prayed the hive and swelling would go down. Either way, it was a Saturday and I HAD to go to work, they needed me big time. I felt like crap but I still went (thats devotion for ya). I get to work and my the manager at the time takes one good look at my red watery eyes (which looked like I'd been crying) and my huge still swollen lip (which looked like I'd been in a fight and lost) and brought me into his personal office. He kept asking me if I was ok, if things were ok at home and if I needed any help because our company offers help for it's workers. I knew what he was getting at and I had to reassure him over and over that I was just having a bad allergy attack and would be ok. He looked so relieved, while I was annoyed that I was being questioned like that I realized he actually cared if I was being hurt, and the nicest thing was, he sent me home even knowing that I had the next day off. Which NEVER happens in retail, getting a whole weekend off is very rare unless you beg for it or are on vacation.
He said I was a hard worker and they'd make do without me and to feel better. I went home and slept for hours, when I got up, swelling was down and I was feeling much better AND I had the whole weekend off!
I really do miss that guy, he was an awesome manager.