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  • SCs.. Sucky Clubkids...

    I figured I'd make a glossary of a different breed of SC. Sucky Clubkid...

    The "Jonah said I could get in for Free" SC.

    I run club parties with my friend of ten years Jonah. Sometimes our regular attendees still want to come, or Jonah's struck up a deal with a newb. The shit part is 80% of the time he leaves a list of these said people. Its when he doesn't that these SCs come out of the woodwork and get TESTY when I tell them no because they aren't on the list.

    The "Cuddly E-tard" SC.

    Generally adorable and harmless, they usually congregate in piles of what we call cuddle puddles and leave me the hell alone. It's when they realize my ultimate awesomness that suddenly I have a tag-a-long wanting to spend time with me while I'm working. "RB!!!! I wanna hang out with you!!!."

    *cocks eyebrow* "While I mop up puke?"

    "Yeaaaahhh."

    The 'I can DJ!' SC

    These ones come out of the woodwork every six months. Some of them have been successfully converted into working members of our team. The others??? Mess up our soundboards, play bad youtube rips or waaaay too much happy hardcore. My poor brains...

    The "I can do/sell drugs in front of the staff cuz they're my friends."SC

    Don't make me call the cops. Or worse yet, your mother...

    The "I don't have to listen to you because you're Not Jonah." SC

    Ah yes young Padawan... But I still have license to kick your ass and throw you out of my party. And keep your money.

    The tweeked as fuck underager

    Usually sneaks in undetected with a pile of friends when we first open. Either is sober when he comes in - and takes something - or was riding it to it's NOW HUGE PEAK in the middle of my club. When we take you to the kitchen to figure out what in the hell to do with you, please don't play with fire, knives or other stupid things. We just want to call your mommy or the police or the hospital and get you the hell out of our club.

    The "I can hang off/ jump off/lay in the middle of random shit and you can't yell at me." SC.

    It's my job as security to make sure you behave yourself and don't get yourself hurt. Trying to jump off balconies cuz you're drunk and think you can fly is BAD and I'm not gonna let you do it. No matter how much you call me a bitch on facebook. LOL NO!

    The "Take my picture doing this!!" SC

    The kid who follows me around the club, or appears suddenly and randomly and often and starts hamming for the camera. Stop! I already have 1000 photos of you doing the exact same shit in another part of the bar! Don't get upset when I roll my eyes at you and walk away.

    More to come when I think of them...

  • #2
    Oh man. I can really feel my age now...I'd never be able to tolerate those little bastards.
    "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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    • #3
      Quoth BeenThereDoneThat View Post
      Oh man. I can really feel my age now...I'd never be able to tolerate those little bastards.
      I've felt like that since I was 12.

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      • #4
        You have waaaaaaaay more patience than I do!
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Quoth Retail's Bitch View Post
          The 'I can DJ!' SC


          I'd get this occasionally when I was DJing weddings. "Hey, dude, can I sit in and spin some?" Short answer: No. Long answer: The bride and groom paid me to do this to the best of my ability. Unless they specifically asked me to allow you to spin, you aren't spinning.

          Amusingly, at my friend ME's wedding, I was the liaison to the DJ for her, due to my experience, and was specifically authorized to sit in if I felt like it. The DJ knew this going into it, but still gave me CattButtFace when I decided to sit in. I spun for half an hour while the DJ sulked, but I had more people up and dancing in that half hour than he did at any other point in the evening. And on another note, I found it amused that he was so snippy with me, especially when he knew that I was the one who was paying him. Dumb bunny. (Yes, he got paid. But still....act like a professional.)

          Quoth Retail's Bitch View Post
          When we take you to the kitchen to figure out what in the hell to do with you, please don't play with fire, knives or other stupid things.
          Good luck trying logic without someone frying their brains on drugs. Have fun with that.

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

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          • #6
            Happy hardcore?
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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            • #7
              Quoth Becks View Post
              Happy hardcore?
              I call my hardcore "Mr. Happy" ...


              When he bothers to show up.
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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              • #8
                Quoth Becks View Post
                Happy hardcore?
                This is Happy Hardcore... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9jRGjUzJ9w

                LOL

                Or this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RXlgS1lpHY

                It's okay in small doses... Maybe a few songs, then maybe a break of some house music, some top 40... Mix it up a little... but the Sucky Club Kid wannabe DJs think they're god's gift to raving and try playing 30 minutes to an hr of this stuff and anybody who doesn't dress like a rave kid and spin around my dance floor with handfuls of glowstix doesn't really have the patience or the same amount of club drugs coursing through their veins to tolerate that much HH. LOL

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                • #9
                  Quoth Retail's Bitch
                  Oh dear gods that's obnoxious. And I only listened to less then 30 seconds.

                  This from the metal head who's playlist makes most of her family and friends roll their eyes.
                  Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
                  Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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                  • #10
                    Quoth dragon_wings View Post
                    Oh dear gods that's obnoxious. And I only listened to less then 30 seconds.

                    This from the metal head who's playlist makes most of her family and friends roll their eyes.
                    LOLS. I'm used to it and I don't mind it... IN SMALL DOSES! LOL

                    Like this is one of my favourites.

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95J5CGC6Q4k

                    Makes me dance like a rave kid... Then it sometimes morph into a good skanking Ino it's not what it sounds like... LOLS) and confuses the shit out of them. LOL

                    I also love Basshunter...

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgFwiCApH7E

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Retail's Bitch

                      LOLS. I'm used to it and I don't mind it... IN SMALL DOSES! LOL

                      Like this is one of my favourites.

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95J5CGC6Q4k

                      Makes me dance like a rave kid... Then it sometimes morph into a good skanking Ino it's not what it sounds like... LOLS) and confuses the shit out of them. LOL

                      I also love Basshunter...

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgFwiCApH7E
                      First one I could live without. Second one was decent. I love bass and a good beat (part of why I love metal and why I used to listen to hip-hop/rap).
                      Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
                      Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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                      • #12
                        This may shock a few people, but I used to go to a rave bar here in Key West, where my friends and I would get totally drunk (and sometimes other things) and dance with glowsticks.

                        The first link (Happy Hardcore) was just obnoxious, and I don't know that I could dance to that. The second was more like what I remember, and I know I could easily dance to shit like that. And the third, while not my cup of tea, was at least danceable. More than the first.

                        Not that I would listen to any of it outside of a club, mind you. But then, you can't really rave dance to the Stones or the Eagles all that well. So it's all good.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Retail's Bitch View Post
                          I love and adore Eiffel 65 and Bloom 06. <3

                          I am Happy Hardcore.

                          Quoth Retail's Bitch View Post

                          I also love Basshunter...
                          I has LUFF for you hardcore now.
                          Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                          Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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                          • #14
                            I can't stand any sort of techno so I'm doooooomed! Miss Jazzy loves to shuffle and loves techno thanks to my brother in law, Mouse. She's so cute, had an audience at a train station once because she started dancing to some music from a nearby club. /mommyjack
                            Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

                            Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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                            • #15
                              I learned something new again today. Yay!!!
                              Unseen but seeing
                              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                              3rd shift needs love, too
                              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                              Comment

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